Definitely read the Hold on to your NUTs book by Levin.
Originally Posted By: PMA_Baby!
THE CHILDREN NEED STABILITY!!!
What's best for the potential future between you and your W is not the same as what's best for your kids. Indecision is a knife in their heart that will make permanent damage... It has aready started.
Focus on the kids and everything else will work out.
If I do that it will sure cause a lot of drama throughout the entire family. This is something I wouldn't have not had a problem doing before this all happened. Shes was probably expecting me to tell her no and actually I did at first and her exact words were "You don't want to play that game" and I said that I could reschedule.
So let me get this straight: the person who does NOT have the marriage's (and, by extension, the family's) best interests at heart right now, is the one you're letting call all the shots?
If I do that it will sure cause a lot of drama throughout the entire family. This is something I wouldn't have not had a problem doing before this all happened. Shes was probably expecting me to tell her no and actually I did at first and her exact words were "You don't want to play that game" and I said that I could reschedule.
Wow! Ok. And her having an AFFAIR and ripping apart the family is not causing DRAMA?!? Seriously? I know this isn't easy, but I wish someone would have woken me up along time ago like we are trying to WAKE UP!!! Time to take back what is LAWFULLY YOURS. YOUR MARRIAGE YOUR FAMILY YOUR WIFES RESPECT!!! What would you say to your kids if it was 25 yrs in the future and this was happening to one of them???
What would you say to your kids if it was 25 yrs in the future and this was happening to one of them???
PMA,
I love this standard. It -- along with "The Right Thing to Do" -- are the signposts by which I think one should govern their DBing efforts.
My wife and I took a Christian parenting class once, and one of the teachers -- a woman -- talked about telling her teenaged daughter that "I'm more concerned with what the 30-year old you is going to think 15 years from now than what you think right now." Her daughter asked her WTH that meant, and the woman said "I don't want you coming to me when you're 30, and saying 'Mom, what the heck were you THINKING????' (letting me do that)"
If I do that it will sure cause a lot of drama throughout the entire family. This is something I wouldn't have not had a problem doing before this all happened. Shes was probably expecting me to tell her no and actually I did at first and her exact words were "You don't want to play that game" and I said that I could reschedule.
Wow! Ok. And her having an AFFAIR and ripping apart the family is not causing DRAMA?!? Seriously? I know this isn't easy, but I wish someone would have woken me up along time ago like we are trying to WAKE UP!!! Time to take back what is LAWFULLY YOURS. YOUR MARRIAGE YOUR FAMILY YOUR WIFES RESPECT!!! What would you say to your kids if it was 25 yrs in the future and this was happening to one of them???
This is true, I have to do something. I wont be able to ever get any respect if I don't.
That crossed the line for me and I filed for a D and got a protective retraining order so as to keep the status quo of the kids living with me.
Sounds to me like she is not giving you much respect. It is up to you to become stronger and not be a push over.
I'm not quite sure how to do this and my A is not answering the phone. If I fill for a restraining order I will have to show proof. The only proof I have is the kids telling me this.
