2009 - The Craziness Continues (Deux)

[whatdidido]

This counseling could be court ordered I would think.

[lost_in_space]

Well...

Haven't posted anywhere in a while except the alt universe. Here's the latest...

Last Monday I received a revised proposal from W. I drafted a response which is now with my L who will be sending it out as if he wrote it. Some of the main points:

- W wants to get living arrangements finalized (me in house) and wants me to get her $$ to get a house (I have suggested I would agree to an interim payment if title to house was transferred and we agreed to the value of a few assets). I have heard that her "roommate" that owns the house is nearing her patience with W as she is staying there and contributing nothing.

- W wants everything re that she paid for out of her savings acount (my response was that no, it is 50/50 and if we did accept her proposal, I would be able to sit in a stool and watch TV - that would be it [she want the kitchen and dining room set which is why the food reference],

- W wants 9 years of spousal support at $1400 per month in addition to CS of 780. The 9 years comes from the # of years she was self-employed; my reaction is that anything aftee the time our youngest was starting full time school is solely her decision - only 3 years was a joint decision so maybe I should go for 50% of three years. I suggested 2 years at $860 (this amount equates after tax cash flow - still trying to portray fair and equitble.

- W still wants gift from parents returned.

- W wants to go to a week (as do I) and split holidays such as Xmas. My reaction is maybe after next Xmas and Thanksgiving but W started pattern of taking k's away for holidays. Si fair and equitable means I get the same days this year.

There was more all about me cr@p but you get my drift. Frustrating for sure. Hear more and more that W is out to lunch in so many ways.

And I am thinking more and more that I am just out...

Spending next 4 nights with k's. I like that!

[lost_in_space]

Hi. As I re-read what I posted last night, I see I must have fallen asleep while doing it because some of it makes no sense at all... let's try that again shall we!! And sorry about that. See below for what it should have said. The corrections are bolded .

Well...

Haven't posted anywhere in a while except the alt universe. Here's the latest...

Last Monday I received a revised proposal from W. I drafted a response which is now with my L who will be sending it out as if he wrote it. Some of the main points:

- W wants to get living arrangements finalized (me in house) and wants me to get her $$ to get a house (I have suggested I would agree to an interim payment if title to house was transferred and we agreed to the value of a few assets). I have heard that her "roommate" that owns the house is nearing the end of her patience with W as she is staying there and contributing nothing.

- W wants everything (furniture, decorations, etc) that she paid for out of her savings acount which was the $$ from her mom and dad (my response was that no, it is 50/50 and if we did accept her proposal, all I would be able to do is sit on a stool and watch TV - that would be it [she wants the kitchen and dining room set which is why the food reference]),

- W wants 9 years of spousal support at $1400 per month in addition to CS of $1780 and wants to keep all her new salary. The 9 years comes from the # of years she was self-employed; my reaction is that anything after the time our youngest was starting full time school is solely her decision - only 3 years of her being a SAHM was truly a joint decision so maybe I should go for 50% of three years. I suggested 2 years at $860 (this amount equates after tax cash flow - still trying to portray fair and equitble).

- W still wants the remainder of the gift of $$ from parents returned. I am saying nope. I offered to put it in an irrevocable trust in favour of the kids as this is what the $$ was supposed to be used for but W did not want that and it even went so far as her L telling my L that she wanted some of that for herself.

- W wants to go to a week rotation with our kids (as do I) and split holidays such as Xmas. My reaction is maybe after next Xmas and Thanksgiving and Easter but W started pattern of taking k's away for holidays. So fair and equitable means I get the same days this year.

There was more all about me cr@p but you get my drift. Frustrating for sure. Hear more and more that W is out to lunch in so many ways.

And I am thinking more and more that I am just out...

Spending next 4 nights with k's. I like that!

[kat727]

I am sorry that there doesn't appear to be much progress. You are still dealing with the same old crud. I don't understand the fog and hopefully I am not meant to. So hard to cope with someone who wants everything and gives nothing.

Sorry I am not much for advice today but more than willing to pass along a hug and thoughts of strength for you.(((((Lost)))))

kat

[whatdidido]

Oh, Lost. How frustrating. If she spent as much time as she does trying to repair the marriage rather than "screwing you over", you guys could make it. SHe must be exhausted, really, all of this anger and revenge would take whole lot of energy.

[karen43]

Oh, Lost. How frustrating. If she spent as much time as she does trying to repair the marriage rather than "screwing you over", you guys could make it. SHe must be exhausted, really, all of this anger and revenge would take whole lot of energy.

I always think stuff like that too!!! So much anger must be exhausting. I think you need to mentally move on; she is in such a fog or whatever that's probably best for you and your family. What does your L say about all this? I mean my H wanted to have the kids full custody and no child support or alimony in his first divorce filing. Just b/c they want something doesn't mean they'll get it... Karen

[lost_in_space]

(((kat))), (((wdid))) and (((karen)))...

I am so ready have something happen here so I can get out of this limbo. I know there are other kind, caring thoughtful women around here ... just like the three of you... but at this point my estranged W is not one of them.

(Interesting song on the radio - timing is amazing - Daughtry's "Over You")

My L is advising me so far to keep a steady ship and not do anything to give her ammo so to speak. She is getting bad advice is the consensus. Will see what happens. I just want the house thing settled for sure. The rest we can deal with as we each get "settled" so to speak.

The "fog" or confusion - not sure anymore if that is what it is or just the true narcisstic nature coming out that I no longer cater to.

W met a F friend of mine the other day (W not aware that this F and I have become good friends) and had a two hour coffee talk. Of course I was filled in and basically it was 2 hours of W slamming me. Now move on already... that's the part I do not understand...

We'll see what this week brings for excitement...

[kat727]

I think she is trying futilely to get people on "her side". She doesn't have support for her choices so she needs to make you out to be awful.

Funny how you mentioned the Daughtry song, it is really how I see it happening with ex. But I also like "What about now" because to me it is hopeful regarding someone new from the past in my case. Keeping my fingers crossed for us both.

kat

[lost_in_space]

My response should be in the hands of her L today. And based on what I heard yesterday, should be interesting.

W has been telling everyone that she absolutely LOVES her new job and life is FANTASTIC. Well, heard from a friend yesterday and reality may be different.

The friend had lunch with a senior person where W works. As it turns out, after two months on the job:
- W is not a model employee
- if it wasn't for a friend of W being in a senior position with he company (who recommended W be hired), it is unlikely that she would survive her probation period
- W has alienated a lot of staff with her "prima donna" attitude
- W is sitting next to a divorced lady with two small kids (likely making less than W); W has commented that her life is lousy right now and keeps asking this lady for advice. The lady has complained to the management already about W bothering her with talking on the phone or on crackberry 50 - 75% of the time that she is at work and talking loudly.
- W apparently has said to the lady that she is not worried cause there is lots of money in her family

WOW. Once again reality seems to be a lost concept on W.

Her mess!

Karma???????

[Puppy Dog Tails]

No, just consequences.