Sunshine....I definately need to catch up on your thread...
I do obsess sometimes...not as much as I used to...OMG...it used to be awful...I've had to take pictures down...I've painted almost every room a different color...now I'm working on what I want my yard to look like...my personality....he was so plain...I am full of color...bring it on....day lilies everywhere...love them..now that makes me smile...along with my son snuggling up next to me on the couch to watch TV....no one can take that away from me....I think I just got overwhelmed and it all came crashing down...I need to learn to breathe....DEEP!!!
Keep your head up also...it's only paper....it means nothing...
Treese how did you obsess? People on here have told me I am obsessing but I am just now figuring out how. Also, how long did it take you to take down pictures of h and do the painting and stuff. I havent removed any pictures yet or made any changes, other than changing furniture around. I need to, but I feel stuck! It's like a death. My son is 18, not much cuddling there. lol
OMG...I used to call him all the time when he left...for stupid stuff...he quit answering his phone...I would try to know where he was all the time...my sister lives out by where he works, and I would ask her to go see if he was really at work...he would go stay with OW and her X would call and tell me that he was at her house...one time I called him and he said, "we were just sitting here laughing waiting for you to call"....now that ripped my heart apart...the fact that he is laughing about his wife who is torn apart by him leaving and the one he said he loved for 30 years...it was crushing...he said it was none of my business anymore....i would cry all the time...I mean all the time...if I think about it now I cant believe I made it through that...but I did...I guess I just got to the point I knew he wasnt coming home...at least for a long time..I would be on here and see that some were here for like 2 years and I couldn't believe it was lasting that long...well, here I am 2 years into it and nothing has changed except I don't cry as much...I do go out now...with my friends...and have as much fun as I can...I don't want to regret anything...my kids keep me really busy and with my oldest getting married next year, I will be busier as the months go by....we do give them way too much space in our heads...they don't deserve it...they WALKED out on us, we were just left behind to pick up the pieces...if there is one thing I want to be able to accomplish, it's what Snodderly and YR are teaching me...to get them out of my head...it's not worth the anxiety it causes me...it's just hard to do...Time and what's that other word, Oh yeah, PATIENCE....the toughest word of all....
As for taking pictures down...well, one day my D16 was very angry with her dad, he was here for some reason, she yelled at him and went over in front of him and took down the family portrait....I knew then I had to change some things...my children can have pictures if they want in their room but I don't have any in the main house because i don't want to look at him...then I went on a painting spree....I've painted most of my house...H has seen it, actually made fun of my bedroom, but Ididn't care because lots of other people saw it and loved it..besides, it was for me, not him....
and now, my yard is my new thing....I will make it so full of color and beauty....I can't wait....
to answer your question...my H has been w this OW for at least 2 years...she's trash to me....and right now I don't like him much either...
I do have alot of love to give....he loses....my children are my life at the moment and will always be number 1 but I hope in time, that I can love again and have a healthy relationship,whether it be with my H or someone else...but I've changed too...I want to be respected, I deserve it...I don't think my H really ever did...and that's sad...maybe being 14 when I met him I was to naive to realize but I don't regret...I loved 100%...always....I wasnt perfect but I feel I did give what I could...Im working on me, my not so good points, and what I can do to be a better me...I've learned alot of that from coming here....
YR & Snodderly have always put me in my place if needed and have been sensitive to how I've felt...it's not easy, and as you can see I fall....ALOT...but I'm learning to get back up and keep going....
Sorry for being so long winded.....take care....
Treese
Last edited by Treese; 04/19/0912:22 PM.
Treese
H 49 M 45 D 23, D17, S12 M 25 T 31 01/07 OW H at my door w/proof Bomb ILYBINILWY 06/07 Sep 01/08 headed for the greener grass, Mar08.B#2H has child who is 9 11/08 pos.paternity
As far as the OW.....it really does take as long as it takes. Alot of people were telling me 6 months before the newness wore off. 6 months came and went for me and I got so depressed. Then a year then 2. Each person is different. Please don't think about the length because you will get depressed and go crazy!
As far as the OW.....it really does take as long as it takes. Alot of people were telling me 6 months before the newness wore off. 6 months came and went for me and I got so depressed. Then a year then 2. Each person is different. Please don't think about the length because you will get depressed and go crazy!
Y
I know what you mean YR. I sometimes think, maybe they will be truly happy. He has only been seeing her for around 3 months, so I dont know. (He announced to me in Feb. on Valentines Day, that they were officially boyfriend and girlfriend. That hurt!). So actually from then it has only been 2 months! We only dated for 6 months and we got married and it lasted for 20 years almost. We met in Oct. and I moved in with him in around Jan. and we got married 3 months later (April). Although he told me the first night he met me he was going to marry me.lol and he did! He said he didnt date much in high school and his father had just passed away, so I think he was looking to be happy again, just like now. She isnt divorced yet but in the process and she also just lost her 2 year old son in a horrible accident in Oct., so I think they are both looking for happiness.
YR, I cant remember, how long did your h live with ow, before deciding to come home? Did he ever mention marriage with her? I know you werent divorced, but did he ever say he loved her and they wanted to get married?
Treese you seem like such a wonderful person. Has your h mentioned divorce? They say some go forever without mentioning it and some get it immediately. It couldnt come soon enough for my xh. He said he wanted different companionship. Whatever that is suppose to mean.
Do you have myspace or fb? I would love to get to know you better. I live in London, Ky. not far from you. Where in Ohio do you live. My father lives in Ohio. We use to live in Middletown, Ohio.
Renee, Treese has her own thread. Do a search and you'll find her and her story.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Sunshine,,,i am responding on your thread...Treese
Treese
H 49 M 45 D 23, D17, S12 M 25 T 31 01/07 OW H at my door w/proof Bomb ILYBINILWY 06/07 Sep 01/08 headed for the greener grass, Mar08.B#2H has child who is 9 11/08 pos.paternity
