WAW New life with OM #2

[ppenton]

Today not such a great day so been praying for patience and strength. I guess seeing and talking with W is still hard for me to stay detached as I start to miss her more when I'm not conversing with her. So, I pray and try to keep my mind focused at work. Cannot wait to get out and walk as its over 50 today

[ppenton]

Ok, I took a long walk today which ended at my brother's house were I had dinner as usual on Wednesday nights. We discussed the possibilities of W coming home or me filing a D. I told my parents, brother and SIL that I am not ready to D and am still open to reconcile if W wants to work on our M. In addition, told them that I know W is not ready to come home not sure if she is ready to D as she has not ever mentioned wanting to D. Anyway, then walked home and I feel much better and hopefully can concentrate on work tomorrow. Been praying a lot today which has helped me. I know I need to wait for when God's timing is right for us.

[ppenton]

W called me today to let me know that S13 went to school as he has been sick this week. Also, she told me how OM got a puppy yesterday which he apparently was on some waiting list and she wanted to make sure that I understood that it was he who got the puppy not both of them. Then she asked if I was upset or anything and I said I'm fine which I am but was also thinking how much I wish she was home. I told her how much $$$ I took out of her account for the mortgage and she said that was fine. So, we are just going along as she seems to still be happy with OM.
I have a busy weekend coming up again. Friday afternoon S15 baseball game, then I go to my dad's 50th high school reunion dinner and then on Saturday S15 double header and then I'm playing in a Texas Hold 'Em tournament - need to fit my walks in between these activities

[runningoutoftime]

You really have a busy life and that's wonderful.

How weird about your wife wanting to make sure you understood that OM got the puppy and not "with her." I wonder if she was expecting you to be upset or just trying not to hurt you...

So, what were some of your wife's favorite things to do with you and the kids? What things do you think she might miss participating in?

Have you set up any fun activities to do with the kids like a camping trip, dirt bike riding with the kids, or a mini vacation?

[ppenton]

You really have a busy life and that's wonderful.

How weird about your wife wanting to make sure you understood that OM got the puppy and not "with her." I wonder if she was expecting you to be upset or just trying not to hurt you...

So, what were some of your wife's favorite things to do with you and the kids? What things do you think she might miss participating in?

Have you set up any fun activities to do with the kids like a camping trip, dirt bike riding with the kids, or a mini vacation?

Yes, I'm thankful for my busy schedule lately and my IC thinks I have a good balance of being busy and not hiding at home or "running" away by always doing something.

About the puppy, I think she just wanted to make sure I was not hurt/upset because the last time she told me how her and OM were going out of town to a place we used to go to I didn't react to the news very well. Of course, that was before I started DBing, so I was not in the position of strength I am today.

Well, the last few years W really enjoyed going to the sporting events the kids are involved with. Also, family traditions - like spending holidays together with our extended family. So, I'm sure Easter was not easy for her. When I would bike ride or take the kids to the zoo she hardly if ever came along. I still like to play catch with them or board games when I can get them away from the XBOX


I'm thinking about taking the kids on a road trip to visit the Baseball and Football Hall of Fames and maybe make some stops along the way to a minor league game or any other attractions we come across between Chicago and NY.

Thanks {{runningoutoftime}} for checking in on me...

[ppenton]

Well, today was a fairly good day as it was finally nice out to watch a ball game. I was at S15's game when W shows up with her new puppy and OM! She didn't sit near me or the rest of the parents but I still felt weird and sad, especially for my son as he is still angry with W. It gets frustrating that she doesn't realize how much this is hurting the kids but I know I can't control her so I just make sure they are ok. Anyway, the dinner was fun and the food was good. Now time for bed as have to get up earlier to take S15 to baseball.

[ppenton]

W took S13 out to breakfast this morning then brought S15 a bagel.

S15s team won their double header today (11-10 & 6-4) he played in the second game but didn't get any hits. Was robbed of a couple of shots he connected with. W came by herself and sat alone in center field. The coaches grilled hot dogs and burgers for the kids and the fans today - that was very nice of them

I walked to the game as it is such a beautiful day and after I pick up S15 from school, I'll probably go on another walk.

Then tonight I'm playing in the Texas Hold 'Em tournament which should be fun.

I'm feeling much better today, still mad and sad about W & OM but I know I can't do anything about who she brings to a game. So, I'm not going to worry about it. Now the other parents are very upset and I tell them that we can only control our actions. I think some of these parents would love to really rip into W but they won't as they respect me and my kids. I'm lucky to have so many friends and family for support as its hell going through this.

[ppenton]

Didn't win in the tournament last night but did have a lot of fun and met some new people.

Today took kids to church then picked up S15 girlfriend and went to my parents for lunch. Its been raining all day so we watched the White Sox game and then played some games. After we dropped off S15's girlfriend I asked him if he noticed his mom sitting in the outfield stands instead of with the rest of the parents? He said yes and then I asked him if he noticed who his mom was sitting with and he said yes (she was with OM), then I asked if he was ok or had any questions, he said "I am fine, just worried about you". I told him I'm mad that she brought OM but there is nothing we can do about it and that I am ok. In addition, I told him not to hesitate to talk with me or anyone else he feels comfortable talking with about this situation as I don't want him to feel he cannot come to me or another parent or family member. He said he knows he can talk to me. I also said that I'm happy he is using his friends for support as I told him that's what I'm doing as well. He is a great kid and I worry about him and I worry about W not thinking about the kids and only herself.
Went on a walk in the rain and asked God to remove some of my anger from my heart and felt He did once I got back home. This is still very hard as I wish my W was here with us.

[ppenton]

Well, I talked with W about OM coming to the game last Friday night. She said she did not bring him he just happened to be riding on his motorcycle and surprised her. I guess he got lucky to find the park she would be sitting at. She said she would talk with him and ask him not to surprise her anymore and besides, she said, he doesn't even like sports so she was not sure why he came up to the field. I just said that I'd appreciate if she would, as she said back in January, not bring him around the kids.

Now, I just received a text from W:
"I AM sorry about friday"

Not sure how to respond or if I should.

[ppenton]

I didn't respond and I'm fine.

Had dinner with the kids and we had a good time, laughing and joking around. Then went on a nice walk, then went grocery shopping and did some laundry.

Read some posts and now going to bed.