Oh my gosh, I know exactly how you feel. We are trying to get everything kind of sorted out tomorrow. I, like you, have tried and H has run from all of his problems and responsibilities. Whoever said it is easier to run to someone with no connections and responsibilities said it exactly right.
My H has also run from his kids. They see him maybe 1x a week or 1x every couple of weeks. It's horrible. At first I tried to encourage him to come, tell him they missed him, etc. but then, after the one time he took my d, and introd her to ow, I quit trying to get him to see them. They have quit asking as much. It breaks my heart.
I, too, have dropped the rope. I mostly dropped it because he hurt my kids. I can forgive lots of wrongs to myself, however I cannot forgive wrongs to my children. I don't need a man that will hurt his children because he is trying to start a new, fun life and run from his problems. I hope all of that drinking with the buds, young new friend, working out, etc. fullfills him. I don't think so though.
I so feel what you are going through Peace. Visit my thread "I think I'm done" any time. Good luck to you. All we can do is try to be the best mom we can be and make the best of the situation.
"Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out." Robert Collier
"One's best success often comes after their greatest disappointments." Henry Ward Beecher
Peace, If your h truly wants to reconcile, that little piece of paper and especially that little statement will not stop him. It's best to have that put in there, just in case he comes home and leaves again. Many of them will do that before making the final decision to run and be away for an extended period of time.
You did the right thing by leaving it in. This is about protecting you for the time being.
Hi peace- The things they do and say are all so confusing. Without a doubt, you need to protect yourself and your kids physically, emotionally and financially. I agree that if your H truly wanted to reconcile, that your agreement wouldn't stop him...however be prepared that your H could throw it back in your face at some point...we all know that someone in crisis can use any little thing as a reason to support their actions.
well I am now legally D we signed today and H wanted the final hearing today as well he looked terrible, weight gain he almost puched my L b/c of some of the changes we made
but he seemed relieved to get the agreemnt over with it has been streessful going back and forth he gave me everything he basically got nothing except his feedom when the whole thing was done, his L gave him a high five and congratulated him like leaving your family is a thing to be praised
H looked happy like he just got a touchdown reached his goal
I am sad, but truth be told,,I dont want H in this condition he has no plans that I can see to return he seems done
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
I'm sorry peace, take care of yourself. I wish you all the best.
(((peace))) TOH
M41 H42 D17 Adopted N14 M22 T24 "Bomb" 4/07 Sep 8/07 Admitted OW 11/07(only to me) OW back 12/4/07 PA on off thru 7/08 says done w/OW but not coming home 8/08 D final 7/09 Moving on and up!!
I'm sorry. I know you had a terrible day. Your H may not realize it now. He thinks he is "free" to start this great new life. I know, mine is probably the same way. I just take comfort in the fact that I tried, really tried. He did not want to try. You did the same. That lawyer is a scum bag and unprofessional.
He may seem happy right now, but one day it will hit him. It may be 6 months, a year, 5 years, or 10 years, but it will happen. By the time he fully figures out what he did, the bridges he burned will not be capable of being repaired. We tried. They will suffer the consequences of their choices eventually. Rest assured knowing that and that you will be there for your kids all of this time. M
"Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out." Robert Collier
"One's best success often comes after their greatest disappointments." Henry Ward Beecher
(((peace))) I am sorry that this has happened. You and your children didn't deserve this but at least you know you did EVERYTHING you could to save your M and your children's family.
I think most family law attorney's are almost as low as pond scum...and your H's attorney sunk even lower than that today. I know that they think it is just business but I just don't understand how anyone can feel good about helping to cut a family in half.
Maybe now that this is done, your H will eventually have to look at himself and what he has done...but as we have learned here, you can't expect that.
I hope that you are dealing with this as well as you possibly can...I know it is hard but keep moving forward in your life and finding the things that fulfill you. You are an amazing person with such great insight and compassion...your H is a fool!
Peace I am so sorry. You did what you could. I do believe your h was not happy for the D final. Maybe yes for the stress and the back and forth, but deep down I am sure he doesn't feel good about D. Who could.
So tacky of the L, but hey he got his money so he does'nt care. It just goes to show what our society is all about. Greed and money!
Take care of yourself. Maybe now you finally have some closure. Not what you wanted, but let the healing begin.
Me 50 H 42 S 22 S 9 D 7 M 12 T 17 H moved out 8/2006 H moved home 1/2007 for 3 weeks H moved home 5/2011 for good
"Learn from yesterday ~ Live for today ~ And hope for tomorrow"
Hey Peace, I am so sorry for your pain. No one knows what the future holds. For right now, be good to yourself and hold your children tight.
Do not worry about how your h feels right now. He is lost. Try and find some peace and happiness in your life. I know this is so difficult. Surround yourself with people who love you and remember what a wonderful, compassionate woman you are.
