DQ, Thanks for responding. And yes, that is what I am trying to get out of this. He already came home from leaving me, on a bed of lies. Even though we discussed how things were going to be different and what we needed to do to make our M better (HONESTY being a big one), by him OMITTING the fact that he had been involved with this person the whole time he was gone, be it physical or not, he invalidated the whole attempt at reconciliation. Some might say, including OW2, "whats wrong with WAH having friends". And my response to that is nothing as long as they are not HIDDEN for years (BTW: Never even heard of this woman even though, come to find out, they have been "friends" and co-workers FOR 10 YEARS.
Sorry for the rant. I just can't believe what a fool I am.
All that being said, I've drawn the line in the sand with the poly because I need to be sure (in some other way besides what he tells me) that he is being COMPLETELY HONEST about this relationship.
I think this is the last straw for me.
Originally Posted By: DanceQueen
Dug-In...ok I get it now. You would want him to prove via polygraph that he didn't sleep with OW2, not just talk to her inappropriately. You have suspicions that he was physically involved with her during your separation and he denies it, so you would want him to prove it to you. Gotcha.
Wellll....that's a tough one but the bottom line is, if he is innocent he will happily take the test! He may grumble and be offended, but he would comply to prove his innocence! Now whether that is the right answer or not, I have no idea. All I know is that, even given my indiscretions, if my ex-h accused me of an indiscretion that wasn't true, I would happily prove it to him in whatever way he needed me to.
OMG! I remember when Sugar wrote that, too! I almost peed my pants laughing! I called two or three girlfriends and told them it, too! It rated higher than my personal favorite from the start of my own sitch--
I called my DH the Dean of the Do As I Say Not As I Do Academy for Moral Incompetents.
I agree, it was the way it just flowed out of her post that day that made it so funny!
Sugar-- You are one that helped me to learn unconditional love for my DH. I figured if you could do it, despite all that your H was putting you through, I could do no less.
Living God's blessigns with grace and dignity~ SMW
M40/H36 T16/M14 4K B2/08 S4/08 current
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. I Corinthians 13:7
DQ thanks for the kind things you wrote and you are right to think that if you had posted to me, I would have listened...but not HEARD you. I also think that in large part the gambling is his addiction, but because she is an addict too he is addicted to that feeling of it being "ok". Now that you mention it, I remember posting that about him, sometimes I just get on a rant, but the credit for f*cktard has to go to our darling Ms. Imp. She improved my grammatical skills by leaps and bounds when she was around. I'm glad I could make someone laugh, even a little during this mess.
SMW that was such a nice thing to say. Its hard to love someone when they can't love themselves, as you are well aware.
Originally Posted By: Puppy Dog Tails
Originally Posted By: Sugar and Spice
Puppy, you know I think you rock too . . .
Yeah, since you know my real name, you know I'm a rock star!!! hahahah
Puppy
You keep some Bad Company...but in the end you know you are a RockStar!!!!!
Just wanted to say thanks to you and again DQ, this is a valuable thread for those that have the courage to read and believe it.
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
This is probably getting old but if you have time, could you please look at my thread. It is in newcomers. It is only one thread, so it is not THAT much to read. You may have the magic perspective to help break our limbo.
I will bump it up so it is easy to find.
Thanks so much.
It is called I'm Clueless Sherlock...
Me 44 She 46 S13 D9 M18 T23 3 years DB'ing Successfully busted
This is probably getting old but if you have time, could you please look at my thread. It is in newcomers. It is only one thread, so it is not THAT much to read. You may have the magic perspective to help break our limbo.
I will bump it up so it is easy to find.
Thanks so much.
It is called My Very Own Thread! I'm Clueless Sherlock
Last edited by DownNotOut...yet; 03/19/0908:36 PM.
Me 44 She 46 S13 D9 M18 T23 3 years DB'ing Successfully busted
Hi Down...I went and read your thread...I will be back with some thoughts, but maybe we oughta move it over to the SSM forum, given your particular set if circumstances. Have you read any of my threads over there? Anyway, I will direct you to my answer after I write it....
I've read some of your threads. That is why I asked you to peek at mine. Yeah, my next thread will probably be in SSM. Other than that (that one white elephant) we are actually pretty good.
Me 44 She 46 S13 D9 M18 T23 3 years DB'ing Successfully busted
