[quote]It appears me pushing for the D caused her to panic and helped bring her back, even though that wasn't what I was trying to do. It's true, the minute you are over them is when they came knocking at your door. It took a couple of weeks or so to entertain the thought of taking her back. I wasn't for it at first.
Quote:
It's true, the minute you are over them is when they came knocking at your door.
Hope all of you BS men that can't or won't let go are reading this.....
Okay.. We have a marriage with a possible reconciliation....
The FACTS and REALITY show that he says he LET GO and moved TOWARD the divorce.
Read the last few responses from Rob and ANALYZE what you are now doing men and what he di...
He says he WAS NOT returning her calls. He says he IGNORED her...
This is the way it works with a Wayward Woman...
You HAVE to let them go and get tough. Trying to win them back by hanging in there DOES NOT WORK...
One thing I learned in all of this is to give them what they want and take them for their word even though you know they will regret it later. WAS have to learn things the hard way.
If I had to do it again, I would had filed for the D as soon as I hear about the A to make a point that I wasn't going to put up with it. I would had still acted like a sap the first month to show that her leaving did affect me but after that I would had put my foot down and worked with the assumption of getting a D. I think that would had woke her up to what she was doing sooner and gain back her respect.
Being their friend after finding out about an A shows weakness which is a big turnoff. I am now a believer of using tough love with a WAS as it has giving me the best results, even though I wasn't trying. We are going to MC since the danger now is me leaving her lol.
I did ignore her and it got under her skin. When I did respond is was cold and to the point. That had a much larger affect on her than I had thought. When I gave up on her and stopped trying that's when things turned around. I think must of us doom ourselves by trying to hard to fight reality. Give in to your sitch and things tend to fall back in place. Funny that.
Me:38 W:40 Bomb/EA 03/08 Recon twice 1/09 W files for D Story
It appears me pushing for the D caused her to panic and helped bring her back, even though that wasn't what I was trying to do. It's true, the minute you are over them is when they came knocking at your door. It took a couple of weeks or so to entertain the thought of taking her back. I wasn't for it at first.
[quote]It's true, the minute you are over them is when they came knocking at your door.
Hope all of you BS men that can't or won't let go are reading this.....
Okay.. We have a marriage with a possible reconciliation....
The FACTS and REALITY show that he says he LET GO and moved TOWARD the divorce.
Read the last few responses from Rob and ANALYZE what you are now doing men and what he di...
He says he WAS NOT returning her calls. He says he IGNORED her...
This is the way it works with a Wayward Woman...
You HAVE to let them go and get tough. Trying to win them back by hanging in there DOES NOT WORK...
Get a clue guys.
Congratualtion Rob... Good job
Curious, do you think that is how it works with a wayward man? In my sitch, I don't think I'm going to have a choice but I'm just curious.
I think it really depends on the individual. I've also read posts here from people who went ahead and filed, and the WAS was happy because it gave them what they wanted.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
Oh no, not about the filing per se. But, the behavior. Like I said, for my sanity, I don't think I have a choice anymore. I guess I would like to think there is some glimmer of hope in my sitch...I need to really change something though.
I think it really depends on the individual. I've also read posts here from people who went ahead and filed, and the WAS was happy because it gave them what they wanted.
Yea, be be careful what you wish for lol. In Texas you have to wait 61 days before you can move forward which gives then some time to think about what they are doing.
Of course if they are still pushing for it after that then it's best to just cut your loses. Not all marriages can be, or should be, saved.
Me:38 W:40 Bomb/EA 03/08 Recon twice 1/09 W files for D Story
Oh no, not about the filing per se. But, the behavior. Like I said, for my sanity, I don't think I have a choice anymore. I guess I would like to think there is some glimmer of hope in my sitch...I need to really change something though.
It's a lot about respect and if what you are doing isn't working now then a change would be needed. Tough love can work on men too.
One thing about men is that we are possessive with our women and if we think some other man is going to swoop in and take them then it gets our attention. I don't know your sitch but for most women I'd say start ignoring the ex and start making yourself look pretty and going out. Get your confidence back up and look good since men are visual creatures so we notice things like that.
Me:38 W:40 Bomb/EA 03/08 Recon twice 1/09 W files for D Story
One thing about men is that we are possessive with our women and if we think some other man is going to swoop in and take them then it gets our attention. I don't know your sitch but for most women I'd say start ignoring the ex and start making yourself look pretty and going out. Get your confidence back up and look good since men are visual creatures so we notice things like that.
YEP.. I have been telling women on this site very same things for quite some time. For some reason they just don't get it or don't want to believe it. I guess they think if they just love us enough and wait for us that we will come to our senses.. How wrong they are. Men will just keep on doing what you allow them to unless you give them a crisis....
I have seen ONE woman get it... PearlH...
It worked for her. Last that I knew, she WAS back with her ex.
