Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 2 of 15 1 2 3 4 14 15
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 11,646
J
Moderator
Offline
Moderator
J
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 11,646
Man, ANYTIME anyone says, "I know, but" it's an excuse.

And a bad one.

I guess the good news is you realize this. Just don't be the fat guy who wants to be thin and knows the donuts are going to make him fatter but they just taste so good. Alright?

Alot of your pain is self inflicted. Learn not to inflict the pain.



Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis

Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans

Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK

TRUST THE PROCESS - Cadet

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 392
D
D Money Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
D
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 392
Originally Posted By: Jack_Three_Beans
Man, ANYTIME anyone says, "I know, but" it's an excuse.

And a bad one.

I guess the good news is you realize this. Just don't be the fat guy who wants to be thin and knows the donuts are going to make him fatter but they just taste so good. Alright?

Alot of your pain is self inflicted. Learn not to inflict the pain.



I know but I thought I was doing the right thing.

Just kidding. I do have a good sense of humor that gets me through a lot of this BS.

Seriously though you're right. It is the self inflicted pain. She doesn't even spew any venom, no talk of D, no talk of A or OM, basically just keeps saying she is confused and needs to sort things out.

Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 4,034
F
Member
Offline
Member
F
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 4,034
Cool. not real far away....

Questioning them is pointless.

#1 They are confused and emotional right? They don't even know whats happening. You will learn not to believe most of what comes out of their mouth anyway. (think) Blah Blah Blah.

#2 It just ticks them off and pushes them further away.

There isn't much you can do to speed this up or snap her out, but the more you aggrivate her and let her focus on you, the longer it will take her to work this out.


Don't stand still.
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 11,646
J
Moderator
Offline
Moderator
J
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 11,646
Again very familiar. You should really read my sedcond post again especially near the bottom something you can do on the computer.

edit - err second post.

Last edited by Jack_Three_Beans; 03/16/09 11:13 PM.


Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis

Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans

Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK

TRUST THE PROCESS - Cadet

Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 4,034
F
Member
Offline
Member
F
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 4,034
become a fan


Don't stand still.
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 390
G
Member
Offline
Member
G
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 390
Quick question...Do you have the kids 24/7?

Be there for them Bro because they need someone right now who isn't nucking futs. Be strong for you and for them.
It don't hurt to pray too.

Last edited by Gman3388; 03/17/09 06:23 PM.

Gman
Me 40
W 30
kids
B 11
B 10
D 8
Been here off and on since 06.
PA Confirmed Dec 08..
With God, anything is possible.
Do or do not there is no try.
Sometimes you have to roll the hard six...
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 392
D
D Money Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
D
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 392
GMan

Yeah I've got the kids 24/7. I try to make life as normal for them as possible.

I see your locale is NW PA. WHere at? Erie is my hometown.

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 392
D
D Money Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
D
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 392
Some tidbits to fill in the cracks of my situation.

When my wife came home from her 2 day sabbatical after dropping bomb #2 at the beginning of Feb, she told me that she has always felt like she belonged to somebody. First her parents then me because we married young. That she never had the opportunity to go and do whatever she wants whenever she wants with whoever she wants. That she was feeling like the 19 insecure girl that she was when we got married.


I've seen my wife a couple times the past few days. She looks worn out and tired. I can tell she's in a down mood as she's had a breakdown or a near breakdown both times I saw her. She thinks that getting an apartment is going to solve that because she'll have her own place.

I've read where there are hormonal changes that takes place during MLC. Does anyone have any idea what happens during these hormonal changes? I've noticed over the past couple of weeks that my wife's face has broken out more than I've seen since I've known her.

Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 11,646
J
Moderator
Offline
Moderator
J
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 11,646
Speaking as a guy no idea about the hormonal changes.

Speaking as a once LBS, I don't think it matters. I know my wife mentioned this a few times in her fruitless quest to figure out what was going on with her.

Quote:

she told me that she has always felt like she belonged to somebody. First her parents then me because we married young. That she never had the opportunity to go and do whatever she wants whenever she wants with whoever she wants...


MLC Script.

The hormone thing...I suppose, as long as your not pinning any hope on the following:

That she admits and goes to see a doctor about fixing her hormone levels.

That should that happen that she snaps out of her MLC.

Don't get hopeful about any possible cures to this, I'm not saying don't try, or offer (although bad idea usually) just saying don't get hopeful about a cure.



Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis

Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans

Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK

TRUST THE PROCESS - Cadet

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 392
D
D Money Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
D
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 392
Not hopeful. Just satisfying my curiosity.

Just like our talk about boundaries, I see it mentioned but never any specifics. I read there hormonal changes and my mind says WTF does that mean?

Last edited by needhelpinmi; 03/18/09 12:21 AM.
Page 2 of 15 1 2 3 4 14 15

Moderated by  Cadet, DnJ, job, Michele Weiner-Davis 

Link Copied to Clipboard