You know FIB, at some point you may have to start looking at the mental abuse she is putting on your kids. You do need to find a good child psychologist for them and let them help you out. Trust me if your W is causing damage a Psych. will figure this out on their own and deal help you deal with it.
I am sorry she is continuing to put herself above your children Frank, they do not deserve that.
I second the recommendation for art therapy. It's a form of release that reveals an awful lot...and something that can be continued/practiced at home. Art keeps me sane.
I'm wondering: what are you doing to take care of yourself? It's clear your W is a nasty old harpy...that is her stuff. But how are you taking care of yourself SO THAT you can be the daddy your children need right now?
Taking care of ourselves is the first thing to go when we're under a lot of stress...and it's the most important thing for us to do.
SD
Me: 40 H: 43 H had EA from 2/06-9/06 Bomb 5/06 Piecing since 9/2006 3/2008: Boundary setting 7/2009: Boundary crossing~dropped my own bomb. 8/2010: Marriage finally on track!
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
Thanks to all. The other morning, I awoke to find a typed letter that my STBXW wrote and sent a copy to her L and the LG. To show you how bent she is, I had emergent surgery in the morning that couldn't be cancelled without causing emotional and physical hardship on a patient. I had discussed this a week earlier and composed a compassionate letter to the judge.
In the letter she writes that I 'didn't show up for court' and with regards to saying that our son needs counselling, she writes that I shouldn't be practicing psychiatry and I should leave that to professionals.
??????????????????????????????
You only need to be a mother or a father to know that your son is hurting and in pain.
The screaming that she started at 1145 at night, she writes that I STARTED A HEATED ARGUMENT. No...I responded with a discussion...SHE started yelling.
My STBXW is warped. She also talks about an emergency meeting with she and the LG.
Huh?
My L told me she hadn't discussed anything like this..that my W is sick and fantasizing...that the LG is NOT allowed to make custody recommendations...etc.
When I first read the note I was concerned...worried..and lost a night's sleep. Today...I realize it is bullshilt. I wrote nearly an EIGHT page response to the LG listing ALL the crap she did the last few months..including the destructive divorce conversation she had with the kids. In fact, I taped my nephew telling me that S8 and D5 told him how mommy had this talk with them. It is inadmissible stuff but I have it just the same.
My L wants the letter but told me NOT to send it to the LG...that they aren't to be burdened with D stuff...that they CANNOT make a recommendation re: custody...that there is NO meeting unless LG requests it or the judge orders it.
Ya know..it's an amazing thing...how all this crap happens and how people warp stuff. It's reprehensible. It's so painful to think of all the destructive stuff my STBXW has done in front of the children...then turns around to blame me and paint me as the fall guy.
I'm OK. I did have a bad week...lost some weight, but, I got my Fireside bagpipes together today and brought them to work. I'll play a few short tunes for the people at work and at the hospital.
FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
To SD....I am coaching my son's BBall team...I am the head coach of my daughter's lacrosse team....I finally have my bagpipes put together..my son's Pinewood Derby had me woodworking for a bit and I may do another project: a ship in a bottle kit with S8 if he is interested. I'm listening to Psychocybernetics in the car on CD. I think it is GREAT and highly recommend it to others.
It IS tough to do a lot of other extracurricular GAL right now, but, the coaching stuff is a lot of time consumption. I think when it comes time to split, I will then have more time (sadly) to dedicate to myself.
FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
To Sofaraway...I had called SOTS several times in the past. He never returned calls and the one time he did...she sounded 'off', perhaps, either it was a badtime or something was going on and he sounded like he did not want the conversation. Any news on him? FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
To spitty, 25, cire et al....I'm burnt on this stuff. Talk about ramping up the tension all the time, etc. (sigh). Now...a month and half wait until the next meeting. (sigh) FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
