Thanks everyine for your messages !!! But.. it seems noone really knows what to say really about these latest 'developments' - me neither! Its a bit of a mixed bag of messages hey.
Had a lovely evening, little bit hardwork, I had to be 'on' and upbeat, as it was just the three of us and they have been through some rows past few days .. but I kept the convo and laughs flowing and it got easier.. by the time we left the restaurant, Cher was bent over double in the street crying with laughter and G was lent on her back, clutching his sides laughing, so that went well !!! They think I am funny (and Helen istn apparently!)
Ex texted me half way through the meal saying he hoped I was having an ince birhtday and had got his pressie!! G told me he had invited him, but that my ex said no but he "would have to see me soon as there is stuff to sort out and sign for the flat" - wow, so he DOES know, but is perhaps working up to arranging to meet me hey. He also told me hs IS working with Helen now at her place, they have been stuck in a new office together on this project and he said, he is not happy about it, not happy at all. He said he was supposed to have a serious talk with him last Thurs, but then their friend J muscled in and my ex cant talk in front of him... so he is meeting him this week (I think) to talk to him and find out whats going on.
But I had a moment of clarity.. my ex knows I am still waiting for him an am single and THATS why he doesnt call or see me, because he doesnt have anything to give me/isnt decided to come back to me. And yet, he is keeping me dangling on the hook more and more.. with the emails, the present, the text message etc..
So.. got to be pleased that he sent such a lovely warm text (and put some stuff in about him being out playing football.. by way of an excuse for not being there?) and such a thoughtful present!
Ali - great eve then!??? And happy Birthday again!!!
just one observation...something FG posted to kalni...I might have a interpreted it wrong mind-you! But when i read it, it did seem to ring true...perhaps being too obvious about your intentions might not be the most productive way forwards...keep your "goal" to yourself is, I think a reasonable paraphrasing of what he said...Ali - keep in mind the changes you have made and resolve to stick with them...
Everyone here has seen the massive changes you have gone through - and perhaps those changes are whats making your ex think again...don't give them up!
You do want to be the greener grass and a soft place to fall - but not too easily! If he's going to fall onto your lawn, he needs to negotiate a few branches on his way down! LOL - this fits in so well with my leylandii experiences over the weekend!
all round good stuff to be sure. Very good birthday all in all. But what's with thanking him so much and making sure you are "still available"? I may well have misunderstood your posts, but are you saying that you want him to know you are waiting? Is that some sort of 180"? Does not seem like one.
Sure he has mixed feelings...he misses you, but he is with her, regardless of what he says about maybe wanting to end it...what kind of guy tells others he wants out but stays....yet was able to leave you? Sorry, but it seems to me he has done just the right amount (the minimum) to keep you touched and available and NOT moving on to your own life or OM, and yet he has NOT ended the R with her....or called, or come back. He's getting to have his cake and eat it too. I'm not talking about being punitive. I'm just assessing the message. The message is he lives with her, not you. He sent you a gift, circuitously. Okay.
That's THE message I'd get. Yes, Yes, it is better to know he cares than not. Of course. But still, are these scraps something you want to make a big deal about? How about you give a polite "thank you for the thoughtful gift"...and leave it at that...and have some more mystery too.
Does he have to know exactly who'll be with you for the evening? Have some plans with "x" unknown so G can tell him THAT....G won't know where you were b/c you "made some new friend(s)" or whatever and G "could not reach" you but next time you are available, G will .....etc etc. make sense?
Anyhow, I DO think these are good signs...but also think you can manage them better by not over doing the analysis and increasing the mystery. Why would he come back to you now, if he hasn't exhausted every other possibility with Helen? I mean, if he knows you are waiting then why should he rush? In fact, who is to say that after her, he'll come back to you without first exploring some other R?
I think he needs to know the risk of losing you and seeing the great catch that you are by you GAL and being upbeat, a woman only a fool would leave...just mho.
Still, don't fret. It WAS a good birthday. So many WAS's around here literally forget their lbser's b-day after decades together. THAT SUCKS...
Hugs, Happy belated B-day too! hope you don't get upset at this, it's a small 2 x 4 b/c I think you can help this go your way if you GAL, PMA and move along as if he is not coming back...so stop looking back and making your life about what he might feel or do or think. That is NOT GAL...it's tactical to get him back....you need to actually GAL for you.
Make sense?
(( j ))
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
Ali - sorry to jump in again here - especially on you birthday night...and when you have likely turned in...
Yes! - although 25years, that post was a bit blunt for our sensitive "lets sit down and have a nice cup of tea" ears! But all the same I think you're onto something here...
Like I said above - thing is not to be "obviously" available or willing....?
Ali has done lots over the past few months for HER - not designed or contrived to "win" her ex back - who would hang off a boat in the English Channel for any other reason than for the thrill of it? In Winter???
Al said she wanted some feedback about "the developments" and I think she can take it...but sorry it's still your birthday...I did think it was yesterday, but wth do I know?
Hope you are fine AliS, somehow I know you will be.
((( j )))
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
