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volleydog #1731687 03/11/09 10:40 AM
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The biggest problem I have right now is understanding how to act As If. Can someone better explain to me? I read it and re-read it but I still can't quite grasp the concept.

D Money #1732322 03/12/09 11:19 AM
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Weel the W came over to the house last night to say she has finalized plans to move out of her friend's house into her own apartment for 6 mos. She told me she wants to do everything that we can before we call it quits. I said if we are truly going to find out if we can begin a new R that 2 things needed to happen.

1. Follow through with counseling.(She finally got her IC set up. MC says she has too many personal issues to deal with before we can even deal with marital issues)
2. There can be no extracurricular activity (She listened but did not acknowledge)

Up to this point I have not backed off as consistently as I should. Every time I pull away I get positive results but I get caught up in what i see and hear and backslide until it gets to the point where it feels like she is abusing my friendship. I have told her for now I think it's best that I don't have any contact with her. Now I have to back it up. Where do I go from here?

D Money #1732324 03/12/09 11:22 AM
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Go dark. No calls, e-mails, texts, snail mail, smoke signals, carrier pigeons, etc.

Leave her alone.

Just my opinion.


Me - 45
D - 19
D - 17
S - 14
S - 13



Final - 1/15
davidswife #1732328 03/12/09 11:33 AM
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Thanks for your opinion. That fits into what I was thinking. It's unhealthy for me to keep vacillating. I know I am stronger than what I have been.

D Money #1733007 03/13/09 12:31 PM
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A mutual friend has told her in essence to go dark on me. To only contact me if it's in regards to the kids. Does that cut the effectiveness of me going dark? It ensures that she gets space but I'm afraid it takes away the possibility of her pursuing.

D Money #1733785 03/15/09 12:08 AM
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Day 2 of going dark

I did something for me for a change. Kids and I went to the mall and I bought some new clothes and new cologne. Got the urge to text her so I called my best friend instead. Also started reading No More Mr. Nice Guy since I fit that to a T. One day at a time.

Last edited by needhelpinmi; 03/15/09 12:08 AM.
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