M, We know you cannot fix your h, but you have to find a way to take care of you and your family financially. I'm very, very concerned about how financially strapped you are getting. I know you have a fall back plan if you need to use it, but what happens if that plan falls through because the financial ruin is too great?
M, you and your children have carried the burden too long. This man is stuck and will not budge until something changes in your situation. Because he's stuck, you are going to have to ask God to help you in determining a way to change things and for the better.
I honestly wish that I could do something for you and your family. I really do.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
MWG, you seem to not understand our points. We are not saying you can fix your H or make him see sense. We are not saying talk to him or don't fix meals for him (I know you say you don't but..) for his sake.
We are saying do it for you and your children. Take control of your own life, don't sit back and say I can't fix him. I can't talk to him. In one way you seem to be burying your head in the sand and saying "this is what it is,I am powerless to change the situation" To some extent that may be true but you can change you. You are a strong woman and are getting by wih your online selling, but really it is just getting by. The debts are mounting. Maybe FIL will bail you out, people are kind but life is getting harder for us all financially.How will hand outs save your marriage and make you all a family again.
Action needs to be now. Your girls are growing up and may go off to uni or whatever. is H still going to come and sit by himself then. I thought your son was doing management training he will no doubt move away-to progress in his job. Show your kids there is a world out there and a life to be had and that we all make choices and take care of ourselves.It is not just a matter of luck. Show them you value you as a person, as a woman. If you cannot talk to your H without yelling etc, write him a letter and hand it to him, then get to discuss it all. I am sure you can pray to God to guide your mouth on this occassion and give you the strength and courage to state your needs and what you will and will not tolerate any longer. YR had her h return and now has a great m, but she did stand up for herself and set boundaries whilst they were separated. You are not powerless in this, it maybe just feels like it. Take care.
a while back he referred to HIS half of the tax refund, that is NOT a father/husband looking out for his family. I think his reluctance to make a decsion to do something one way or the other is a copout. He would love for you to make a decsion for him.....did you ever think the person hes refers to when "someone will hurt" is you? "ow piad him back"...riiiiiiiiggghhht NOT I used to get those all the time
Me 53 H 51 OW 25 Bomb may 06 left june 8/ 06 ILYBNILWY (twice!) 7/6/07 H wants to come home 7/21/07 H comes home 7/07 -7/08 long haul letting go of OW now piecing in earnest
I am not upset with anyone, just taking a break away from all of the hoopla.
Nope, haven't heard from him since he came over Wednesday but he is spending the afternoon with the girls, I guess, as they have movie passes.
I know he will ask for $100 today to pay his credit card. I attempted to pay the auto insurance on Tuesday and it asked for the zip code and I thought it meant where the bill was mailed which is his PO Box and typed that in. As a result, my payment (from HIS unemployment account) was rejected. They wanted the zip to the unemployment account. It takes 5 business days for the money to be returned to your account!! I have to wait until next Tuesday to put it thru. I was disgusted at the fact that he just had to go out and get a PO Box and it just threw me off track. So I called the insurance company and had them change the mailing address to our home address.
H was asking for $100 and S18 said we don't have it, tell him to go out and get a job!! S18's paycheck yesterday was under $100 as he had been sick and barely worked!
H needs to ask the adulteress as there is plenty of her apartment rent on that particular card. She can pay for it.
Other than that, I am busy this weekend with different things.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
I am fine. We have had so much rain here the last few days and more to come in the next week. And it is cold. This means my allergies are really giving me a bad time, have bad headaches that will not go away easily, etc.
Other than that, I am okay.
Not much new on the homefront. Ever since his little stampede performance of a week ago when nobody was here and how he should communicate better, he has been getting back to the kids when they text him.
Actually, it was a relaxing weekend but I had to endure several commercials for Valentine flowers while he and I were watching tv.
Other than that, nothing much new. He will be over tomorrow.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
Still feeling under the weather and stayed in my PJ's all day today. What a bummer.
Yesterday was H's b'day in which he came over and had dinner at our house. Nothing spectacular, and we had some pie for dessert.
D17 made him a card which she left on the table for him.
In it, she put her favorite Scripture passage and a personalized note which said she wished him a happy b'day, hope it is not a bad day and that she wishes he was living at home.
He was rather quiet yesterday as well. He asked when we were getting the income tax money and I just said sometime soon.
When he left, I asked if he took D17's card with him and he said no, he left it here but will get it on Saturday. Hmmm...I can not see him bringing that card in to ow's place.
Anyway, I found out the income tax money is to be deposited into my account on Friday.
I plan to not give him his part until after this weekend.
I sent him a text which said in a very nice and non-threatening way that I will give him his share of the money and that I hope he will use it on our household only and would hope that it will not be used to pay for someone else's rent, cable bill, water bill or groceries.
I then went on to say that it is a shame he has not been here for the last four or so years and counting of the kids lives.....
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
