HI Bob..I like your new title...funny how I never would have thought about a kaleidoscope and the changes ..so many neat things to stop and notice on this journey.. Glad to hear you are going on the weekend..I would love to meet some of these friends here..could you all just come to Illinois...don't back down on it..you deserve a get a way.. Keep hanging in there with the job thing..something is waiting for you..
Bridget - A Bob tattoo? I would be honored... Maybe I should get a "Bridget" or a "Zest" tattoo - that would really send W into a tailspin!
Sue - if you wanted to make the journey from IL out to Virginia, I'm sure that there are some spaces still available at the beach house. Just check out MAL's thread in the Just for Fun area. Also, I think that several people up in Chicagoland occasionally get together for dinner or something - I'll pass along anything that I see.
Another surprisingly good C session yesterday. C and I talked at length about some of W's controlling tendencies as of late (limiting Internet access from home, trying to change to a new C because our current one is not on W's insurance's preferred list, W planning on taking the kids away for a long weekend without at least checking with me first). We're not sure if W is doing all of this to intentionally provoke a reaction and confrontation from me or that she is working to isolate and minimize me from her life. It would be a definite 180 for me to really raise a lather about all of this - but with W making so many missteps (her Internet plan not working and not doing anything about it, W not getting a list of preferred therapists for insurance reasons, W having second thoughts about going away with the kids in a couple of weeks), I feel that doing nothing more than I have is the way to go.
Last night I did get to dance practice even though W showed up home late from her appointment with the muscle activation therapist. I did engage W in a bit of chit chat before I left. Practice felt good. Being around so many of our friends was even better. They know nothing of our marital problems but they do know that I'm still looking for work. A wonderfully supportive group of people - just like you all here on the BB. I am definitely lucky.
Got home last night - W was decidedly cool. She did not really want to hear about how our friends were doing or passing on well wishes from them. I really feel sorry that W is working so hard to shut out this part of her life. It is so very sad and so very unnecessary.
This morning I got a phone call from our vet concerning our dog's problems. The good news is that in her opinion, the antianxiety medication is doing its job. The bad news is that our puppy is acting more puppy like with all of her chewing. The vet gave me a three pronged approach to deal with this so I have some work to do on this.
After I got back in from mowing the yard, there was a message from W on the answering machine. MIL was being taken to the hospital to get some X-rays on her ankle which she twisted in the shower a couple of days ago. W was very upset at this since today is MIL's birthday and she was planning on going over this evening to celebrate. W came by to drop off a couple of things - I gave her a lot of support and told her that I would come up to the nursing home with the stuff and the kids if MIL gets back there at a decent hour this evening. W thanked me for pitching in like this and she'll keep me posted. I'm keeping SIL posted by e-mail - which SIL appreciates.
It turns out that MIL did break her ankle at the nursing home late last week. So they put her in a splint and sent her back late that evening. W also mentioned that the orthopaedic doctor who is going to see MIL next week is the same one that D saw while she had her broken arm. I told this to D after we got off the phone - D thought that was cool.
After I got the kids upstairs to get ready for bed, SIL called for an update. SIL made it a point to let me know how she appreciated me being so understanding and willing to step in to help out W. Even if W does not tell me so, it's nice to hear things like this coming from members of her family - especially since SIL knows about the difficulties of our sitch.
So we're going sometime this evening to celebrate MIL's birthday after we have had dinner. W likely will need to work some this afternoon and early evening after a conference call - business as usual.
We had a really good Wednesday evening. W came home super early and we had a good Bob-prepared dinner before we piled into the minivan to visit MIL for her belated birthday celebration. S behaved himself most of the time so the visit was not too particularly stressful for W and me. D was a real sweetie - she even fed MIL her dessert (chocolate cake with raspberries) before touching hers.
While we travelled back home, W did warn me that next week was going to be very rough for her at work. So what else is new? No problem for me - just means that much more time with the kids.
Well, today I turn 44 years young. I thought about it some and said to myself: "Self, it doesn't matter that nearly half of your hair is grey or white now. And it doesn't matter if you develop bags under your eyes or get crow's feet. You are a great father and a great husband who has learned from his mistakes and continues to learn every day. If W refuses to recognize that, that's her loss. If W decides to bolt, that's her loss."
I took a look at my horoscope from the Cainer web site and here is what is says for today:
Jupiter is now back in your sign for the first time since 1992. Mercury, your ruler, is in Virgo too. It is as if it’s now standing still, in an apparent effort to maximise the length of its stay in its favourite sector of the sky. The Sun and Venus are also in Virgo and we have just enjoyed the annual new Moon in your honour. Are these special times for you? No, no, they are much more than that. They are extra-special, amazing and unusual times. during which the most magical developments can, and will, ensue.
And here is one that was in our local paper today:
You're known by others to be different, someone who likes to call the shots; you're independent and used to going your own way. You can be sensitive and moody. You're best self-employed and would be good working in the security field. The next few weeks are a very lucky time; you could hit the jackpot. There is involvement with children, perhaps as a teacher.
I don't really believe all of this - but it would be nice for some 'magic' to come my way. Maybe I need to make some of my own...
... altho I don't take any stock in that stuff either ... after all ... how does one write a horoscope that holds true for more that a couple million people every day?
It was cool to receive some validation from SIL. I'm sure some of that has to filter back to W as well for what it may be worth?!...
Last year, I played my 40th very low key in light of the year I had. This year, I feel like celebrating the day in celebration of "myself", but haven't come up yet with how just yet? ... have another week to think about it tho.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!you are not old...end of next month I will be 48.....ohhhhhhhhhhhhh now that sounds old..50 is just around the corner..yet I feel the best that I have felt in several years...I keep somewhat fit...used to be our ages were ready for a rocking chair. I still have things to do and places to go..if it is alone, so be it.
Hope your w has something planned for you..like a night off of cooking and a week off of cleaning!!
Jackie, KAW and Sue - thanks for stopping by on my birthday. Also thanks to you who just came by to read - you know who you are!
Quote: Hope your w has something planned for you..like a night off of cooking and a week off of cleaning!!
Sue - ROFL! The only way that would happen is if W came down with an irreversible case of amnesia!
Anyway - last Friday went about the way I expected. W came home pretty late so the kids and I started on leftover spaghetti for dinner. W did show up as we were finishing but she really appreciated the plate I set aside for her. Got a nice personalized computer card from D (she used Microsoft Picture It to doctor up a photo W took and added her own text - pretty cool! ), another regular card which W actually signed , a cordless screwdriver with a bunch of attachments and a TCBY ice cream cake. I thanked everyone for the nice birthday - again, pretty much what I expected.
Saturday D got an invite from our next door neighbor to sleep over in their backyard. Our new neighbor is a DF with three kids (D11, S9 and D2) that stay with him every other week. He is marrying a nice woman in October up in PA where her family goes back over 300 years. Our D and his D get along very well so far so we gave the OK for it. But before the sleepover - W, the kids and I went to our German band kickoff party for the fall season. With the kids keeping busy, it gave W and I a lot of time to catch up with everyone. By the way W was smiling and ing jokes, she had a really good time - something that I haven't seen much of from her in a few years. After we got back from the party and got D situated next door for the evening, S and W promptly fell asleep!
Sunday was a pretty hectic day all the way around. Our dog got something in her eye that apparently got washed out on its own but she kept her eye shut. So I rushed her to the emergency pet clinic - fortunately no corneal abrasion or anything very serious. So even though it cost us about $100 for the visit and antibiotic eye drops, W thought I did the right thing. As it turns out, our next door neighbor needed to go there later to treat his cat for scratches that it received from their three dogs so W and I agreed to watch his two older kids. We went to see "Freaky Friday" - W and I sat on opposite ends of the group but I could see her laughing and enjoying the movie.
After the movie, we stopped by a bookstore because D had been pushing us to do so for a couple of weeks. While we were there, W and neighbor got into a conversation about camping. W made a rather pointed insult at me concerning a mistake that I had made a couple of years ago by bending one of the support poles for our new tent due to me misreading the instructions. I replied "Yes - you are right" in a very calm and neutral voice. W then decided to change the topic. We followed that up with a Mexican dinner and next door neighbor joined us. After that, his two older kids joined us in a sleepover in our family room. While the kids watched a movie very late in the evening, W and I stayed awake upstairs. W felt like watching something different on TV so I turned on the History Channel since something caught W's curiousity. It was a show called "The X-Y Factor" and it dealt with s&x during the WWII years. Something that I would not at all expect W to want to watch with me but she did for most of it before falling asleep.
Yesterday was another busy one. After we had a pancake breakfast and saying goodbye to the neighbor kids, we took our dog for a hike around a nearby lake. We also need to build up our walking legs for our trip to NY next month and it was worth it. Our dog went into the lake but did not venture out very far - she just wasn't sure what to do once she could not touch her paws on the bottom!
We also went for a late visit to the pool since it will be closing on Friday for the year followed by a chicken and green bean stirfry in peanut sauce. W raved about it - said that I did a very good job picking out the organic green beans for it.
But it is back to the routine this morning. After I took S to his speech class and daycare, I got back home and W was still here so we did have some time alone - talked about what her work schedule was and what we had planned for the weekend. In order to keep the conversation flowing, I asked if we were still going to plan on taking the dog to a charity dog wash on Saturday. W got a bit testy and replied "Didn't I mention that to you a few days ago?" I told W that I just wanted to make sure that we had the day right and I went inside to do some straightening up and check out a couple of job sites. W did come in a bit subdued and wanting to work on removing some mattes from behind our dog's ears. She needs my help to keep D restrained and occupied while she does this so it gave us at least an excuse for incidental touching.
Bob..glad you had an alright birthday..at least you did not build yourself up only to be let down. It's just another day..right?
You are keeping busy..when you said the new neighbor was a df..I thought"yes..a lady to maybe make your w jeaulous"(sp?)..but then you said he..not that you want to make her jeolous..but heck maybe our s need something to shake them up a little..make them stop and think about what we have...I have this single probably 50ish man behind me..I see him out in his backyard alot..have never spoken or met, but I sometimes think I should introduce myself..naw that's not me..I am not "looking" for anyone else..and I would never do that just to get back at h. Well I can dream can't I!!!???
Sue - so sorry for the confusion there. I can see where my abbreviation DF (Divorced Father) could easily be confused with DF (Divorced Female).
As far as "meeting" your 50ish neighbor - the guy is your neighbor so it's probably a good idea to know his name at the very least. We don't socialize all that much with our neighbors but we know some of them fairly well.
I would be honored... 
Maybe I should get a "Bridget" or a "Zest" tattoo - that would really send W into a tailspin! 
They know nothing of our marital problems but they do know that I'm still looking for work. A wonderfully supportive group of people - just like you all here on the BB. I am definitely lucky. 
I really feel sorry that W is working so hard to shut out this part of her life. It is so very sad and so very unnecessary. 
No problem for me - just means that much more time with the kids. 
The only way that would happen is if W came down with an irreversible case of amnesia! 
I told W that I just wanted to make sure that we had the day right and I went inside to do some straightening up and check out a couple of job sites. W did come in a bit subdued and wanting to work on removing some mattes from behind our dog's ears. She needs my help to keep D restrained and occupied while she does this so it gave us at least an excuse for incidental touching.