It's Complicated! Part 3

[glamgirl]

I did text h today to see if he was getting D4 afterschool. If he doesn't then I will need to leave work early and then I can go back to work as I can leave D4 with S20. No response yet.

It was weird. I had a dream about xh last night. It was a pleasant dream that xh and I were friends. Not so sure what all that means. In the dream I was actually hanging out with him. Now this is a man that I didn't have contact with for 14 years.

During those 14 years, I just thought that my ex h got on with his life and really didn't think much about me and S20. I found out later, that was not the case. Over those 14 years he carried much guilt and remorse. I never knew.

It just goes to show that what you really think may not really be the case at all. We spend so much time trying analyzing our WAS's, when in actuality we could have the picture all wrong.

Just my thoughts today.....

[glamgirl]

I am a bit in tears as I re-read my post I wonder if this is another of God's lessons for me.

Many times throughout this whole ordeal for me I would often have thoughts of my h and how he was thinking that were not correct. When I would talk to my h he would say that is not true that is NOT how I feel. So many times I would be wrong, but I put all these thoughts in my head and then I was left feeling hopeless and despair.

This is a good lesson, to try NOT to hold captive your thoughts of what YOU think the other person is thinking. We are NOT them and we could NOT possibly know.

Thanks for listening......

[dl443322]

Glam, just wanted to say you are doing great. Life really is ironic. I believe everything happens for a reason. That doctor was meant to see your h.

And it is true, we cannot possibly know what another person is thinking or feeling. Thanks for reminding me.

[glamgirl]

Nice night with h. His car was fixed and ready to pick up today. After work we took the kids out for a bite to eat. We had a nice chat about our jobs. Seems to be going well for both of us.

H gave me some extra money this week and was being generous. I didn't expect it and I told him he didn't need to. He just said he wants the best for me and the kids. I said I know you do.

He said I am doing the best I can and he also said this isn't about NOT loving you. I said h what is it about. He said he feels I left him high and dry. His words. I said h I am sorry about that. Can you forgive me. He said I do forgive you, but I am just trying to get over it.

I just said h I will keep praying for us. I said I will keep trying to redeem myself. He said you have already redeemed yourself.

Then he left. MC tomorrow. Hmmmmm!

[Upside]

Hi glam-
It is so true that we don't know what is going on in someone else's mind. Things our H's may not make sense to us but it doesn't mean that they don't love us. So stay positive. Your H does love you and your kids and h is trying to find his way back. I hope his new doctor can help.

(((HUGS)))

[Silent Chrleader]

Hey, Glam!

I see so many positives in your H's words and actions!! I'm pea green with envy!!

The only thing I would say is to maybe not run yourself down or apologize so much. He has said you are forgiven and that you have redeemed yourself. Trust his words and let go of it. I know you are trying to be validating of his feelings, but the more you talk about it, the more he is reminded of his own mistakes and that's painful to him.

We talk a lot on this board about hoping that WAS's can let go of guilt so they can move past it, but we LBS's need to be able to let our own guilt go too!

You are a beautiful, warm, caring, compassionate, faithful woman! And your H is lucky to have you in his corner!! Don't forget that!!

[[[[[[hugs]]]]]]

[glamgirl]

Thanks SC. I need to keep remembering that. I just look at my h and wish what I say or do, will be the magic that brings h home.

My h looked so handsome last night. I just wanted to say h let's forget about all the past. Just move back in with me and family. I didn't, but sometimes it seems so silly that he is still gone.

This is where the patience comes in even more. Thanks for listening.

[MidwesternGirl]

One thing I have noticed, Glam, is that my husband can tell me he has forgiven me for calling the police on him three years ago BUT all of a sudden he is bringing it up and saying he has to cover his behind around me because he does not know what I might do.

Even though they may say they forgive or say it is okay, things still come back to them and the cycle starts again and these things of the past creep back in.

I think we have to not take it so personally.

You are doing fine. Just go with the flow and take it day to day.

[Silent Chrleader]

.... I just look at my h and wish what I say or do, will be the magic that brings h home.

My h looked so handsome last night. I just wanted to say h let's forget about all the past. .....

ME TOO!!!!

I can't even touch my H in the smallest of ways without him tensing up. It absolutely breaks my heart!

Patience, Patience, Patience.............

[happynow]

Hi Glam,

Thank you for posting on my thread!!! I really appreciate everyone's input.

I'm trying to catch up.

Just wanted you to know that I was thinking about you.
((((HUGS))))