Was that a speedbump or a milestone?

[C_K]

Sleeper

Of course she dosnt want to loose you totaly , You have been an anchor for her even if she doesnt realise it.
The abrubtness on the phone was possibly in response to you not replying to texts.
You can bet that OM has a tough time with you being involved but thats how it goes when you have kids. He can probably see the connection thats still there and thats got to bother him.
Dave

[forward]

Sleeper, I think it's good that you have boundaries better established. It will be better for the kids, too.

I do think the advice about treating them like business associate is appropriate. I also think it is healthiest for the kids--if you are too good of friends they want to see you back together.

[sleeper]

She called just as I was geting off work today.

She has decided not to make the change to the FS she had mentioned to me earlier in the week. She is now p*ssed at her L because he hasn't filed papers I have already signed (ones she has previously accused me of not signing). She now believes he is dragging things out to make more money. I agreed and told her I had come to that conclusion a while back but didn't want to say anything.

She still wants to use one L but now she wants to use mine (to save money).

I previously told her I am going out of town this weekend and that must be on her mind as she asked, "When will you be..." but stopped herself before completing the question.

[sleeper]

She did the yo-yo the remainder of the week.

She spewed following the above discussion, then moderated a couple of days following that and ended the week on a calm note.

She is still very curious about my trip. When I picked up kids tonight they mentioned, "Mommy says you have a new girlfriend." I find this inappropriate but probably won't confront her about it. Funny how if I go out on one date I have a "girlfriend", but she has never refered to OM as her "boyfriend." She also sent the kids with a birthday card from them to me (5 months late). She forgot the previous 2 birthdays of mine completely.

She sent TONS of food with the kids tonight. She hasn't done that in a while and it kinda irriates me.

[job]

sleeper,
Yes, it irritated you about the food....but it's the dance. She thinks you are dating and she's trying to find out what she can about the lady and yes, your dating or going away for the weekend has her in a tail spin! Look what she's done...a birthday card 5 months late, sending tons of food with you and the children and telling the children you have a girlfriend. It's evident she's feeling like she's on ground that is starting to shake. In her mind, she always thought you would be right where she left you at home, single and there at her beck and call.

I had to chuckle over your posting because this is par for the course w/the mlc crisis folks. You distance yourself, move on a bit, go out and have fun....they then try to reel you back in by doing things such as this. Of course she's not going to call the OM her boyfriend...because there is no deep love commitment w/him. He's her boy toy and nothing more.

Enjoy your week.

[sleeper]

Yes, she has commented on more then one occasion, "It's not like that" when the topic of marriage with OM was broached.

She has told me the reason she sends food is guilt. She is fully aware her standard of living is higher than mine and therefore her children experience a lower standard of living when they are with me (50% of the time). I know she is also aware that she is now a part-time mommy.

Your observations in reference to my dating are probably true. She didn't have all of the kids things ready yesterday when I got the kids so I told her I could come by today and pick them up. She was very OK with that. Also for the first time in a long while OM was not with her when I picked up kids last night. They are usually together every Sunday evening whether I pick them up or she brings them to me.

On a side note, in true mlc form, she informed me during spew last week that she has gone through her inheritance. This is in part (or all) my fault of course as I did not agree to use one lawyer (hers) in settling D issues. I refrained from suggesting she sell the airplane she bought. Her L turned out to be very expensive and she has paid three times the legal fees I have spent. On some level she realizes it is not all my fault as she has made dispariaging remarks about her L.

"Are we having fun yet?"

[job]

Sleeper,
I can definitely understand why she's gone through her inheritance! The pot of gold doesn't continue to multiply if you are spending it hand over fist. As I recall, you've not asked her to assist you monetarily in your lifestyle these days. It's not a wise choice to have the same lawyer working for both of you on this. It's always better to have two so that you both have legal representation to the fullest. Her lawyer sounds like he's got her figured out and who better to suck her dry, but her lawyer.

That's a very low blow to you to indicate that your children live a "sub" standard existence w/you. It sounds like she's projecting what her boy toy existence is. Let it roll off your back. She's just trying to make you feel bad about your life style.

When the money is entirely gone, who will be standing there crying with her eyes in a tissue? Certainly won't be you.

Oh, yeah, are we having fun yet?

[forward]

Sleeper, Yeah, you have a model MLCer...

The plane puts her in a realm of exotic on this board.

[sleeper]

As I've said several times before...

"It's a fine madness."

[forward]

How are you doing, Sleeper?