Happy New Year to us, Cowgirl!!! What a hellacious year. I am going to assume that we both have turned a corner. You took out a barrel and I tore my bumper... there were casualties but we kept going. We might be trotting out on the other side. I need to believe that. We are both so stubborn and so convinced about what is 'right'. That does come from our rough growing up. We are sort of black and white. Thus the pintos!
World Champion Wife, hahahaha, let us resolve to notice what is wonderful. A brawny colt, a plowed driveway, a great breakfast and a giggle in the shower. Things could be very much worse. You are doing so well... Me too... Thanks for your friendship.
F. Flicka HAPPY NEW YEAR!! {YOU ARE NO ANGEL.. You are a Valkarie!}
I expected it after too much normalcy. I let myself get sucked back in and worked my plans around H and got burned again. I get angry at myself because I know better than that and then I get all cranked and it festers when H shows up. I held it all in, I even went into self protection mode, until ow came up in a generic conversation amongst a group of us. When H and I were alone again I asked H to explain. He refuses to acknowledge or talk or explain and only says go pick a fight with someone else. The more he shut down the more I let loose. I tell ya I was like a broken water pipe that couldn't be shut off! oofda!Bad WCW. Some of it was rehashing things that have gone unanswered for years and still are, some was things that I have never said to H. I called him a chicken and told him to man up and face the issues instead of ignoring.
I want to be like H, I want to run away and hit ignore. But how does that resolve anything?
This morning we were invited to breakfast with friends, and we go and act all normal and talk about upcoming plans. I wonder if anyone noticed that H was hanging off the end of the bench to stay as far away from me as he could.
Life with H still sucks but it's not as windy as it was. The rest gets better. I made arrangements and trailered some new cows home yesterday that will calve this spring. I made new contacts to set up some new clinics this year at the ranch.
A friend told H and I there was a nice article about me in a state magazine written by some people that came for help with their horses. I need to get me a copy. Too bad H called in busy that day and couldn't be here to do his part. I did it without him.
Moving forward with my life while leaving room for H to join me. He keeps peeking in the door but is still too stubborn to put his foot thru. I didn't help at all this time.
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
I would only take a do over if that would get H to talk!
I so much wanted to ask H for a backrub last night. Not just because my back was sore but I wanted some physical touch. I didn't. I feel like I am supposed to but yet I don't want to. Does that make sense?
He did give a light hearted hug this morning. No I did not initiate, I just stood in his way!
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
I expected it after too much normalcy. I let myself get sucked back in and worked my plans around H and got burned again. I get angry at myself because I know better than that and then I get all cranked and it festers when H shows up. I held it all in, I even went into self protection mode, until ow came up in a generic conversation amongst a group of us. When H and I were alone again I asked H to explain. He refuses to acknowledge or talk or explain and only says go pick a fight with someone else. The more he shut down the more I let loose. I tell ya I was like a broken water pipe that couldn't be shut off! oofda!Bad WCW. Some of it was rehashing things that have gone unanswered for years and still are, some was things that I have never said to H. I called him a chicken and told him to man up and face the issues instead of ignoring.
I want to be like H, I want to run away and hit ignore. But how does that resolve anything?
I swear to G*d are we married to the same guy?
Married - 19 years Noticed Problem - Aug 2008 THE Conversation - Oct 2008
The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference.
We might be except that my H sleeps here every night!
There is a lot of things that make it tough to DB but being put on ignore constantly certainly doesn't make it any easier!
Partly I was upset because we had tentative plans for NYE and H had said he would be home by 6 or 6:30pm. When those plans changed I assumed H would still be home at the time he said. The clock ticked along and so did I, and finally realized I was waiting for nothing. I did run to town but was too late for church to feel comfortable walking in that late. I stopped to pick up some movies and did a little shopping. I got home around 9pm and H arrived home. I had resolved not to make a big deal out of his arriving late.
About 11:30 I went to bed. I heard H talking on the phone. Shortly after midnight he came in the bedroom and said a friend wanted him to come and help with a horse that was sick and the owners weren't taking care of it. H and I went to see what we could do, by the time we arrived the horse was dead. The owners were surprised to hear it, but they never set their drinks down.
I was already in a state of unbelief, and then when ows name came up, and then when H crawled back into his shell, by this time it was 3am and I was cold and tired and that's why I lost my resolve to stay quiet. Reason or excuse? the result is the same.
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
That is an awful story and I can see why you were upset... I bet H can as well. He is tenderhearted. I think accompanying him up there was more helpful than any DB 'tactic'. Sincere good will goes a long way towards recreating good feelings.
WCW, you are hard to find over here. I should have looked through these more carefully. Sorry. My comments back home on the hopefulness range are not especially sensible now. Not that they usually are.
Todays comic events - I have been trying to downsize the amount of unused horses here, and was reminded and inspired by MWG doing her online business. I listed some horses and today I delivered 2 of them to a new home. (I did take a new one in trade, but that's still less than 2!) I filled H in on the details during breakfast this morning. He was not very happy or supportive of the fact that I was dealing off 2 horses.
I turned the convo to the trade he made last spring for a horse that I have yet to see. Turns out it is kept at ows. I've known this for awhile and today asked more details after H hammered me on the deal I made. H says he pays nothing, trades nothing, to keep this horse at ows. Why would he lie, right? ggrrrr. He says the lady that had the horse couldn't get along with it because it would bite and strike and rear up.
Tonight I told H that when he saw the new horse I brought home to think forward potential. This horse needs some tlc and groceries but seems very cute and quiet. H sang out some more zingers about my deal and my ability to do it right.
I said 'at least I don't have a horse that bites and strikes and rears and I can't even get it home.' He shut up.
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
I cut that last post short because my 'date' was driving in to pick me up. There was a fundraiser in town for the local humane society. I asked H if he would like to go, he said no. The 2 friends I was going with picked me up, so when they drove in H was rubbernecking out the window to see who was coming in, I grabbed my coat and said that's my date! He said in a Dodge? I said 'yup, I had to downgrade!' and left.
When they dropped me off H asked 'who was that', and I told him. He even asked about my night. lol
The weather tonight is frizzle. Freezing rain and drizzle. I almost had guests overnight but they decided to treck home.
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
