I've been pretty bummed out tonight. I had to clean some stuff off my computer and ran into a whole bunch of old pictures of my and W together, happy. These were even pretty recent. I don't know what she was thinking.
Today I had to explain the history of events to a good friend of mine. This was probably the first time I didn't cry while explaining. That's a bad sign to me, like I'm getting used to this.
I also have been laid off from my job. I didn't really tell W. Figure she kicked me out of her life, she's not first in line to find stuff out. She txt me to see if everything was ok, that she still cares for me, and if I wanted to talk, she was there....,now? I didn't reply to her. Out of sight out of mind.
She came to pick up my son the other night and came to the front door. She wasn't wearing makeup. I think she's so pretty 'natural'. I didn't know what to say, but I could tell she just had her hair highlited. So I said "did you just get your hair colored". She didn't know what to say either, and replied 'did you'? Anyway, we smiled at each other and both looked deep into each others eyes. I sure wish this was different.
Today I had 4 different friends come by my house. That was nice.
Hi Tostada, Sorry to hear about the layoff coming right on top of the D. That must really suck big time. Hope you find something better one on both fronts.
I, too, am looking for a new job and at the same time going through a D (mine's still in process) but I'm looking to faith to carry me through this time. I'm not religious, but just believing and knowing in your heart that yes things are going to get better is the way out of the tunnel. Know it. You will find something better, soon. Here's to good luck coming your way
DBer since 2003 D - 3/24/09 GAL and DBing for myself
Something surfaced this week. Nobody will remember, but my W had denied OM over and over again to me and everyone surrounding us. She did admit she had a crush on a guy and that she did do some talking. I chalked it up to a short term Emotional Relationship. Even later after we separated, she said they didnt even interact.
So...Friday I get a call from a buddy. He says he has to tell me this. A lady down the street that was an acquiantance of his called him and asked for my phone number. How she knew he knew me I dont understand. But the summary of the story is, her husband is filing for divorce from her so he can be with my wife. They have two young kids and I believe she has MS. This guy is a major league scumbag. She would like to talk to me and I hope I get the chance this week. He spilled the beans on their entire relationship.
SO...the emotions going through my body are unbelievable. I feel so lied to, manipulated, cheated on, etc. I feel as bad as the day I got the bomb. I am so angry and disappointed in her. I suppose I may have felt differently down the line if it was someone I didnt suspect. But now she's breaking up another family for herself. The most selfish act ever. I have had the worst pit in my stomach all weekend hearing about these two.
There's a lot more to it, but I just dont know how to deal with it. I guess I always hoped that because the excuses were weak, she would come to realize what she gave up. We are divorced, but, this all started while we are married. To me, that makes the circumstances quite different. I never really could figure out her excuses why she wanted to get divorced. Nobody close to us could figure it out either. Nothing made sense. Well, now it does. It was a big lie.
I have talked to my kids about it. They didnt know either. Maybe it was bad for me to tell them, but I didnt want them manipulated by those two before they knew what was happening. I didnt create this situation. I just get to live it, along with them.
This happens all too often where 2 families are broken because of an affair. The odds are not good for their own future relationship since the likelyhood of one of them cheating again his higher.
I am not sure what you or the other betrayed wife are going to get out of talking. It seems that it might just open old wounds. Is obtaining any new and possible painful information meaningful to you now?
This is a very delicate situation to discuss with your kids. I hope you just gave them a heads up that they may be meeting another man who is with you X in the near future. It is important to not be a hypocrite and forbid your X from introducing the kids to him as the day may come when you want to introduce the kids to your next sweetheart.
I wish you well Tostada and hope you can recover from this ordeal in a short amount of time. Were you able to find a new job?
I understand how much it sucks to think your spouse is really sticking with the person they cheated with. I will never be able to say I am happy if/when my spouse is in a relationship with someone else, but all along I have said I will be able to deal with it as long as it isn't the OW....that has to suck for you.
I think it is a little different if you eventually meet someone b/c it won't be the person who had a hand in breaking up your marriage....but that assumes your wife will stay with this guy, which, as kerry pointed out, is unlikely. Even if they marry I was just reading a book tonight that mentioned 80% of marriages by affair partners wind up in divorce.
