Was that a speedbump or a milestone?

[sleeper]

I've always had an internal clock and compass. Don't know how or why. Apparently my subconscious has them too. Even when not consciously thinking about it I become sad near the anniversary of my father's death. I've always been able to point the right general direction to travel.

This Christmas marks the two year anniversary of "the bomb." At first I was depressed but at the same time I know it is time to tie up loose ends so to speak and move on with my life. I confess I have been living a half-life, with one eye forward and one looking back at X, doing things for myself with their affect on possible reconcilliation in mind at the same time.

I plan to bring this D to an end, find a more permanent place for myself and kids, get the rest of my belongings out of that house and get a different vehicle. I plan on being friendly to X (she's more and more friendly to me as time goes by, WTF?) and help her when and if it's convenient and beneficial to me and our children.

I don't really know what's going on with X anymore. At first she seemed to be followiong the mlc schedule pretty well. She seems to have hit bottom a couple of times and bounced right back up. Although she looks and acts OK she often tells me she is exhausted and has difficulty multitasking the simplest things like talking to me about kidswap schedules while she is sweeping the kitchen floor. She is sick (again) and said something about animal hair as OM's cats are staying with her again and she is allergic. I'm not even going to try to figure that one out as she made him take his cats back at one time because of her allergies.

Like I said, I'm not sure if that was a speedbump or a milestone but you'll have to excuse me as I depress the accelerator and get back to driving my life for a change.

[Andabelle]

You need to put yourself and your kids first now. No matter what happens down the road with your X, you can be proud of yourself for taking the high road these past 2 years.

Merry Christmas.

[sleeper]

Went out again last night. Never been out on Christmas night. The bar even had a band.

My date commented, "Everyone here must not have kids or else their X's have them."

Both of our X's had the kids last night.

[sleeper]

Last night while picking up kids at X's (we're flipflopping during Xmas break) she requested that I take one of the two dogs she has to my mother's because it's not as well behaved as the other dog. I said no. She then asked if I rent a house with a yard would I take it. OM was in kitchen and I just pointed to the kitchen and asked, "Doesn't his house have a yard? Why can't he take it?" She didn't answer but made a face in response. She keeps his TWO cats in her house even though she is allergic.

X refused to keep kids last night even though htere were mantainence problems at my apt using her "I don't get vactions like you" litany again. She must have felt a little guilty about that as later she said, "I don't mean to be a b#tch" referring to herself. I'm getting tired of that and the next time she complains about no vacations I'll respond that she chose her career and I don't have a big house like her or a new vehicle.

She also mentioned how tired she is and the next time I hear that I'll tell her it's just because she is getting old and she better get used to it as it won't get any better.

Definately milestone.

[sleeper]

Rudyard Kipling was wrong.

"If you can keep your head while all about you are losing theirs" you don't grasp the severity of the situation.

[sleeper]

Kids are out of school next week (X's week) but she has to work (one of the busiest of the year in her profession). Her usual day care will also be closed next week. Tonight she asked if I could help take care of kids next week. I said I could help the first part of the week but not the rest as I may go out of town.

She grunted in disbelief.

Last year she dumped kids off on me her week to go out of town with OM for a week.

I took them for their sake.

[frank_D]

let her stew. if, in the end, she opts to give YOUR kids to someone else, then step in and take them.

You are a good man.

[C_K]

Sleeper

2 years huh? , we are on the same time frame . I can understand what you are going through . It realy is time to let her find her own way now. You and me both know thats not so easy.

Dave

[forward]

I'm also in a similar timeframe, CK.

Agreed, sleeper. Do not fear her anger.

[sleeper]

"Fear is the mind killer"