Gosh everybody! I really don't know what I'd do without all of you here supporting me. I was overwhelmed (in a most positive way) when I saw you all there on my thread. Love the hugs.
H is out running some errands, so I'm going to try to get in a quick post.
H continues to have a pretty good attitude about being out of work. Actually, I think it is a relief for him. Not sure he fully realizes the future implications this will bring upon us though.
Still have not gotten any confirmation one way or another about his intentions regarding "us".
I spoke with my C today and described some of the weird symptoms I've been experiencing lately.
Have you ever watched a movie where the frames are broken up giving it a fractured, jumpy effect? Well, that was happening to me last night. I seemed to be losing seconds or unable to experience time in a continously connected manner. Very strange. This has never happened to me before.
C is concerned and thinks that I need to go to the shrink for help. I find that humorous... except for the fact that she's probably right. Problem is, we no longer have health insurance. That went away with the job.
Oh well, things could be worse I suppose......
I'm up to 97lbs now. So some good news.
I hope everyone is doing alright. If I don't post to your thread for a while, it isn't because I don't care because...I do!
I'm not at all surprised that your H feels some relief about the job. I know that for CJ it was like a mountain being lifted off of his shoulders.
As for the finances, live day to day for now. Somehow things always DO manage to work themselves out, don't they?
I remember early on, wondering how I would EVER survive financially, pondered the awful possibility of having to move back in with my parents...and in a meditation I was reminded of a passage from the Bible.
In it Jesus beseeches us not to worry about the physcial neccessities of life...he points to the flowers of the field, and the birds in the sky and reminds us that they worry not, as God provides. As he will for us all.
been watching your thread but not knowing quite what to say. i do want to thank you tho for spending so much time in my thread, your insight is welcoming and i really appreciate the time you spend there
Things do have a way of working out, you are exactly right. Worry about what you can handle at the moment, and you have a great positive attitude, and your health seems to be doing okay. Soon you'll be at the big 100, huh?
So glad you were able to give us an update. I do think it is very good that your H is still maintaining a good attitude. That will make it easier to deal with looking for another job or whatever you guys decide to work out, the business of your own maybe?
I wouldn't necessarily expect any confirmations on "us" right now with everything on his mind. If you can I think I would try to take things one day at a time and see any baby steps that are there by his possibly having some stress removed out of his life. Like you needed some added to yours!
Does your C not think this is all just stress related? I mean on the experiencing time problem? I would think it sounds like probably just a symptom of stress, don't they say that stress can do all kinds of things to you?
So does that mean we need to start planning the 100 mark party soon?
Take care of yourself.
{{{{{{Jeannine}}}}}}
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
I'm not at all surprised that your H feels some relief about the job.
Yes, it does seem to have a lifting effect on him. He recently discovered that management was planning to cut out supervisors altogether and chop off their well-paid employees (my H was both). And so it goes...the rich get richer.
Most recent event:
Last night, H said that he was feeling the need to get out for a while, to go see some friends. He said that he’s been cooped up a little too much around here.
I, immediately, looked at him with an expression of “Yes, I know what you mean”. He then said “Yea I know, but this is new for me. You’re used to it”. (eerrrg.) I told him that I wasn’t, that it has always been difficult for me and that I too need social interaction just like anyone else.
His move to go out on a Friday night again (without me) and visit with others, was just more than I could stomach. Although I said nothing more about it, he sensed that I was deeply agitated. He asked me if I was alright, and initially I headed in the direction that I normally take. Avoid voicing my objections.
I quickly sorted through my silence and was unable to find a valid enough reason for withholding my feelings considering the truckload of stress I’ve been carrying around and the damage it is doing to me.
I told him “I feel like the kid who is not allowed to come into the “clubhouse” or who’s left over after the teams choose their players." "The one nobody wants”.
H was playfully sympathetic and said that he was sorry that I felt that way because he knows how that feels. He told me that I could come play in his clubhouse anytime. I said “yea sure, so long as no one else is there.” “Otherwise, I get stopped at the door and told that I can’t come in”.
He gave me a couple of warm kisses and ended up calling some of his friends instead of going to see them. I told him that there was no reason for both of us to be stuck here - to go - but he chose to stay.
The day before, as we were running errands, he told me that he still thinks about work and teared up when he said that he "really misses his friends there". (oh, if only he'd have missed me in all the time that he spent with them and away from me). Alas....
I'm glad to know that I've been of some help with your situation. I only wish I could spend more time with everyone, but that is not possible right now.
H is presently doing his thing, so I'm posting as much as I can before he returns.
Yes, it is a pleasant surprise for me so far in that my H continues to keep an upbeat demeanor. I don't know what I'd do if he was behaving badly as in the past. That would be too much!!
I wouldn't necessarily expect any confirmations on "us" right now with everything on his mind.
Good point, Pam. I have to remind myself of this often.
Does your C not think this is all just stress related? I mean on the experiencing time problem?
Yes. She says that it may be my brain's way of coping with all the ongoing surplus stress. It's as though my mind has to take "little breathers".
So does that mean we need to start planning the 100 mark party soon?
I'll let you know as soon as I cross that barrier.
except for the fact that she's probably right. 
So some good news.
