I know my W is no good for my emotional health. I know she needs help. I know I can start a new life easily provided I can stand to watch her suffer. I know the kids will be OK because I'm in their life.
I'm just disapointed and angry w/ her. I'm angry I bit on her attempt to start an arguement. Not sure if it was a test.
Finished up HEALS and it helps I just have too much emotional baggage right now. My impulse to control/protect is trying to consume me but I won't let it.
W sent me a few texts last night trying to start a conversation. I didn't reply. Just done with her BS.
I can feel the frustration she is causing you. I've felt it myself so much from my W. Was she trying to bait you into an argument? By not responding she assumes you are mad and ignoring her, or cell is off or battery dead. What if you had responded with "I am busy and don't have time for text's right now, catch you tomorrow." Just wondering what you think because this sounds like something my W would do.
You mentioned HEALS. I bought the book last evening. Looking forward to finding time to read it.
Last edited by Little Engine; 11/14/0805:40 PM.
M42 S12/D9 T17/M12 Bomb 1 3/22/06 Bomb 2 7/11/08 Bomb 3 7/31/08 W Filed 8/1/08 D granted 12/17/08 D Finalized 1/29/09
A man who compromises his principles never had them in the first place.
I bout the HEALS training program and you can download it. I'm really impatiant right now.
The thing is when I distance, she comes closer. When W doesn't get the reaction she wants, she picks a fight or makes a wild accusation and says something like "you haven't changed". W doesn't think I haven't changed because I'n not giving into her every wish. Some things I just can't do and have to look out for myself. I must have bounderies at this point.
I bout the HEALS training program and you can download it. I'm really impatiant right now.
The thing is when I distance, she comes closer. When W doesn't get the reaction she wants, she picks a fight or makes a wild accusation and says something like "you haven't changed". W doesn't think I haven't changed because I'n not giving into her every wish. Some things I just can't do and have to look out for myself. I must have bounderies at this point.
Any I getting out of whack?
It sounds like you're getting IN whack...if that makes sense. Keep distancing. She's the one now trying to press buttons and get some kind of reaction. Although I'd say that's probably not conscious on her part, or at least not totally. Her brain doesn't know what to do with new A.
Breakaway - Damn you!!! You always give me hope and good perspective. If you don't stop doing that, I won't be able to get pi$$ed. LOL. Thanks for your input. You're a great friend.
I think she gets mad because I'm not escallating with her when she's yelling. She gets mad that I say I'm sorry for getting her mad and turns into a child.
Distance kind of goes against my 180's but my 180's trended toward persuing.
Breakaway - Damn you!!! You always give me hope and good perspective. If you don't stop doing that, I won't be able to get pi$$ed. LOL. Thanks for your input. You're a great friend.
I think she gets mad because I'm not escallating with her when she's yelling. She gets mad that I say I'm sorry for getting her mad and turns into a child.
Distance kind of goes against my 180's but my 180's trended toward persuing.
Distance is so you don't go crazy. And she's not trying to communicate, she's trying to fight. No payoff.
You know..I've had my H YELL at me for being calm. Like the few times (which are becoming more common now) that I don't take the bait and get into a yelling match...he'll say OH SO YOU THINK YOU CAN BE ALL CALM NOW???? And I'll say...you're yelling at me for being calm?? That really makes him mad, LOL.
You know..I've had my H YELL at me for being calm. Like the few times (which are becoming more common now) that I don't take the bait and get into a yelling match...he'll say OH SO YOU THINK YOU CAN BE ALL CALM NOW???? And I'll say...you're yelling at me for being calm?? That really makes him mad, LOL.
That really makes him mad, LOL.