"I thought, oh no, but I calmly handled all of what he asked and what he talked about. Then I looked him in the eye and told him I loved him, period, no ifs, ands or buts about it. That I didn't need anything else to be happy, not a career, not education, not money, not fancy things."
This is what happens when you get the timing right. And all the good stuff comes along with it.
Remember.. slow consistent things.. work wonders.
Thats all I have to say about that.
You asked for me to check in..
Just look for those small "chances" to steer things.. or lead.
You just proved to me you can "see" them. Like DB says.. Do what works.
I am a simple man.. and don't like a lot of words..
So I just say....
Relax Eat Think Act normal React.. Smartly. Do something different. Emulate. Do Work.
M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months 4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10 I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.
He he. The blackberry merlot sounds delish, but I think converting to Catholicism is kinda overkill when I can drive to my local religious spirits shop and ask for something yummy. I'll see what my local church serves up and then decide whether I can get you to switch to Anglican (Episcopalian).
Heck, to me it ALL seems surreal, but I suppose your H's reaction is the most surreal. I love how you just 'decided' the break the agreement to be apart. I love it. I love it. I LOVE IT!
I wonder if what my W would do if I just showed up with a sleeping bag and said I was having a sleepover at her house tonight.
H42 W36 M9 yrs D8 D5 d-day: 21/11/07 S and moved out: 22/2/08 Still S: 22/11/10
Pray everyone, pray really hard. If I have any energy after he goes to sleep I will check on all of you. Got to drive home now and miss the deer if at all possible.
I'm praying. I'm praying with my eyes OPEN so I can see it goes in the right direction.
H42 W36 M9 yrs D8 D5 d-day: 21/11/07 S and moved out: 22/2/08 Still S: 22/11/10
"I thought, oh no, but I calmly handled all of what he asked and what he talked about. Then I looked him in the eye and told him I loved him, period, no ifs, ands or buts about it. That I didn't need anything else to be happy, not a career, not education, not money, not fancy things."
This is what happens when you get the timing right. And all the good stuff comes along with it.
Remember.. slow consistent things.. work wonders.
Thats all I have to say about that.
You asked for me to check in..
Just look for those small "chances" to steer things.. or lead.
You just proved to me you can "see" them. Like DB says.. Do what works.
I am a simple man.. and don't like a lot of words..
So I just say....
Forest. My husband is a simple man that doesn't like a lot of words. I'm glad you chimed in here. I think the most important thing I learned is that now I have to SHOW him he's my priority and not use a lot of words to TELL him he's my priority.
Me 45, H 46, S 23, M 26, Together 30, Bomb 6-2-08, S 6-19-08; H left 12-29-08. H home 12-09, Still MLC in 2012! Me- I have my big girl panties on. Bring it.
He he. The blackberry merlot sounds delish, but I think converting to Catholicism is kinda overkill when I can drive to my local religious spirits shop and ask for something yummy. I'll see what my local church serves up and then decide whether I can get you to switch to Anglican (Episcopalian).
Heck, to me it ALL seems surreal, but I suppose your H's reaction is the most surreal. I love how you just 'decided' the break the agreement to be apart. I love it. I love it. I LOVE IT!
I wonder if what my W would do if I just showed up with a sleeping bag and said I was having a sleepover at her house tonight.
Hmmmm, there's been a lead-up to getting closer. Some dates, some time apart and some time together. I'll have to read up on your sitch before I say anything there. Under certain circumstances I suppose it would have disastrous consequences.
Saturday night he went to a movie with the guys and stayed over at his friends because he'd been drinking. Sunday when he came home he asked if I wanted to go visit the in-laws with him. (He has gone and visited without me through the sitch several times. I was glad he came home and asked me. He could have gone straight there.)
It was a really great day. That was the start I guess to him talking to me about how he felt. And the amazing thing was I didn't initiate it.
Last night was also surreal, more in my journal.
Me 45, H 46, S 23, M 26, Together 30, Bomb 6-2-08, S 6-19-08; H left 12-29-08. H home 12-09, Still MLC in 2012! Me- I have my big girl panties on. Bring it.
Quick journal and then I am going to bug outta' work. I have my support group tonight.
Last night he had been having a couple beers when I got home. I had dinner and had a couple glasses of wine myself. I came over and talked with him after I ate. He was real tired and not really saying much.
I asked if I could give him a back rub. He was surprised but said sure. He laid on the living floor and I gave him a good back rub. With the beer and the rub he kind of fell asleep. Don't think he was tipsy, just happy, and tired from work. Anyhow, I turned off the light and covered him with a comforter and laid down next to him.
After a half hour or so he woke up and headed to bed. At first he assumed I would sleep in the other room. I was a bit hurt and sad at that point, and I did go in the other room for a while. Then I said to him that I was having an awful hard time sleeping. He said to sleep in with him, but just for tonight.
I did and I slept well. Now I go to my support group and I go home and have no expectations of a repeat sleeping arrangement. I prayed prayers of thankfulness all the way to work for what has happened so far and for sleeping in the same bed last night.
So hard not to have expectations right now, but I do have God to turn to. My prayers will carry me closer to him. It is my faith and my friends that have gotten me this far.
((((POET)))) I miss talking to you at night. The last couple nights its been impossible. Tonight I will call on my way home from support group.
Me 45, H 46, S 23, M 26, Together 30, Bomb 6-2-08, S 6-19-08; H left 12-29-08. H home 12-09, Still MLC in 2012! Me- I have my big girl panties on. Bring it.
I think I like the sounds of what is happening here in your sitch KJ. I would venture a guess that subconsciously your H likes the current state of things as you hold fast to our Lord and have Him lead you toward re-unification.
Point to really ponder ...if through your faith your heart & mind is convinced that our Great Lord has indeed saved and preserved your M forever, then it has happened already for you. Stand back and watch it be unfolded by our loving God. His works are surely mighty.
