Background: My wife and I have been married for 18 years. Her health has always been a little iffy, and not quite four years ago, she came down with some kind of bronchitis that left her with asthma. Decreased activity and steroids for the bronchitis and asthma added about 40 pounds, and the doctor says she will probably develop diabetes in a few years. All of these problems aggravated her existing allergies, an arthritic condition, and severe PMS. She also became clinically depressed.
Consequently, she is on a variety of prescription medications for these conditions, including the weekly form of Prozac for the PMS and depression. Dropping that is a non-starter; the PMS and depression came back too strongly when we tried switching to the generic Prozac vs. the brand name. She reluctantly asked her doctor if there was anything that could be done about the negative libido effects of the Prozac and was told that there was not.
Because of all this, our love life has taken a real nosedive. In general, there is about a 36-hour "window" each month (always at the same point in her menstrual cycle) when she might be interested, assuming that she is otherwise not feeling ill. The rest of the time, her level of desire is essentially zero. If that weren't bad enough, except for that same period (and to some degree even then) her ability to become aroused is also reduced, so even if she was intellectually not opposed to trying, it doesn't work.
I have always had a significantly higher drive than she has, but as far as she is concerned this is "my problem," and it is up to me to deal with it. I haven't found a way to have her really understand how much this hurts, although I'm sure she would say the same about her feeling "used" or because "sex is all I ever want" from her. We're trying to work through everything, but it's really hard because she simply doesn't want to deal with this area. All this has put a real strain on our marriage.
Here then is the real question: As we try to work through all this, is there anything in the way of supplements, etc. that actually works to increase libido? I am honestly not looking for a "quick fix" here, but for a way to reduce the systemic strains so we can work through everything else more easily.
On one level, what I've been able to find tracks with the information in SSM: a form of testosterone might be the logical first choice, but her spectrum of health problems seems to rule that out. From what I've read, there seems to be some degree of real, scientific evidence for L-Arginine and perhaps damiana; can someone confirm or deny that those have some proven benefit in increasing female desire and/or arousal? Is there anything else for which there is objective evidence? Thanks!
HERE is Edward Bear, coming downstairs now, bump, bump, bump, on the back of his head, behind Christopher Robin...sometimes he feels that there really is another way [of coming downstairs], if only he could stop bumping for a moment and think of it.
After some surgery 4 years ago I had to take prozac. At the time the Doctor prescribed it he told me that if it gave me problems with my libido to let him know and he would prescribe something that would "counteract that side effect." I was single and not engaging in sex so I told him it didn't matter anyway. I do remember being on Zoloft very briefly several years before and it really caused a loss of any sexual drive. I took it for about 6 weeks and the one time my husband and I had sex it felt as if I were being raped. It wasn't only a lack of libido but there were psychological aspects of it that were hard to deal with. I can understand your wife's position but also understand your desire to solve the problem.
There are so many different classes of antidepressants out there. Does she have to take prozac? Has it been considered that she try another antidepressant? Also, have you done a web search to try and get info on what others due about the low libido side effect of prozac? You might also consider getting another Drs. opinion. As for the herbal supplements, I'm not sure, with her health problems that I would even risk it. Do you mind giving her age and have you put thought into the fact that she could be perimenopausal on top of everything else. If so, a hormone of some kind might be of help. Sorry there are no definitive answers but hang around for more opinions from others. Good luck! Cathy~
I appreciate your input. To answer your questions, Prozac is the first choice becuase it helps with the PMS as well as the depression; the other SSRI-class antidepressants apparently don't, and all have the libido side effects. Even the generic Prozac didn't really do the job, so she's back on the brand name formulation. She was on a tricyclic antidepressant several years ago and it didn't really do anything for the depression.
I have done web searches, and the only things I've really found suggested experimenting with other SSRI's - wich I just covered - or adding Wellbutrin, which is an MAO inhibitor-type drug. The latter was supposed to help in a significant fraction, but not all, cases. But MAO inhibitors react badly with many other medications, and with my wife's combination the doctor wouldn't recommend it.
Again, herbals or nutrients are not something I'd start without checking on medical advice first. I've thought about getting a second opinion, but honestly her doctor is really very good and I don't think my wife would agree. I hadn't thought about perimenapause; my wife is 39 and so that might be a possibility. Do you know whether there are specific tests for that or is it more a spectrum of symptoms? She has been checked for hypothyroidism, and her results came back normal. Thanks again.
HERE is Edward Bear, coming downstairs now, bump, bump, bump, on the back of his head, behind Christopher Robin...sometimes he feels that there really is another way [of coming downstairs], if only he could stop bumping for a moment and think of it.
