How is it that these ow put up with this nonsense?
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
Oh yeah, lastnight, S18 asked him if he was coming over tomorrow, and h asked what day will it be and S told him, Sunday, and h said he forgot what day it was.
He is really losing it.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
The ow are in for the long haul....money and good times. They do not care if the mlcer is hurting, sick, etc. They do not act like the loving caring person that the spouses have been. They are not maternal and will not take on that role. They are takers, demanders, etc.
All they strive for is what they can get out of the person in crisis. Trust me, they are still doing what they've always done while your spouses and ex-spouses are suffering. They are also counting on them to feel a lot of guilt for what they've done and they play on that to keep them right there w/them. It's a game and a game that the op plays extremely well once they are further into the relationship, a relationship that is very questionable to all of us. Guilt and shame are the cards that are dealt to the person in crisis and it's hurdled at them time and again from the op once your spouse has joined into the relationship. This is why it's very important to give them a safe place to land, a place called home. They will all need this place because they become extremely fragile in the process.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
What I find to be more and more very weird is that H is coming over here more, does more to help me, takes the kids more places they need to get to, and is telling me more and more that he loves me.
And offers me money all the time--not that he has any to throw away.
I think he is really only over there because he has the place to himself while she is at work all day, then he seems to drink at night while she is there.
That is odd. So he is there for the quiet and uses it as an escape, but uses the alcohol to escape ow and everything else at night.
Does that make sense? I guess in MLC circles it does.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
Gosh, I seem to use the word "MORE" way too much. Sorry, I am dead tired and this is the only day I have off from work. I worked six straight days, and I am off today, work tomorrow thru Wednesday so far. Haven't seen the schedule after Wednesday.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
The enemy thinks he has won your H's soul but you keep in your faith. Do you beleive in fasting for this cause?
I have and am fasting.
thanks for asking.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
h came in and when he could not find the scissors to cut something open, he got really irked so i got the one from our first aid kit.
he then went on to say that every time he comes over he gets ticked off because the house is a pig sty, etc.
i can tell you that it is not--except for the kids bedrooms which i leave to them to clean. the rest of the house is nice and neat. the laundry was all done today, the garage was straightened up, and i raked out front and it looks neater as well so he cannot really say that. of course i had the day off as well.
so he went outside and i just let him be.
after about 10 minutes he came inside and sat with me in the living room.
after awhile, i took D16 to church. when i got home S18 and i were texting each other about the front tire on my car--there is a nail in it but the tire so far is okay but we will get it fixed tomorrow.
as we were texting, h asked who it was and i said, "do you really want to know?" he said he did, and i told him it was my boyfriend. the look on his face was one of those half smile no it's not type smiles and i said "yeah, he is about 6 foot 2, has short hair, sometimes he spikes it up." then he said, "oh, you are texting S18." i started to laugh and said "yeah, i am."
i ended up picking D16 up from church because he said he hates to drive anymore.
when we got home, h was reading some stuff on the computer and left about 8:30. he said he was coming over tomorrow as he wanted to finish what he was doing on the computer.
he settled down a lot after about 15 minutes so it wasn't that bad of an evening.
oh, and he is going to let me pay the bills again this month with his unemployment money. he even told me that if i need to have any extra money to just use whatever money is in there for what i need. i told him no, that i was fine.
and
D16 had a strange dream last night.
She said she dreamt that her dad was crying and crying and she told him to move home. That was all she remembers. end of dream.
She also told me that when she went to the patio lastnight, she caught him wiping his eyes.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
Sorry your h is so picky about the house. Yes h teenagers live here and it takes a lot to keep a house clean with kids.
If it was just you alone I am sure it would be a lot neater. I am sure my h thinks I live messy, but at least he helps out when he is over and doesn't complain.
Glad he is helping with finances. Have a good week MWG!
Me 50 H 42 S 22 S 9 D 7 M 12 T 17 H moved out 8/2006 H moved home 1/2007 for 3 weeks H moved home 5/2011 for good
"Learn from yesterday ~ Live for today ~ And hope for tomorrow"
