What comes to mind PH is that your could simply ask your h if he could bring the boys by on Christmas Day. You have some gifts for them or holiday baking to give to them.
Spending the whole day might be too much of an expectation, but to simply bring the boys by for a few hours might be more reasonable.
When it gets closer to that time then you can have a better feel. You could always have some baked goodies for your h too when/if he brings the boys by.
Just keep praying PH. Put it in Gods hands.
Me 50 H 42 S 22 S 9 D 7 M 12 T 17 H moved out 8/2006 H moved home 1/2007 for 3 weeks H moved home 5/2011 for good
"Learn from yesterday ~ Live for today ~ And hope for tomorrow"
My H is also going out of his way to ensure I am excluded from Christmas this year. Ever since he left I have always invited him for special occassions and with the exception of the first Christmas (which was only a month after he left) he has refused all invitations.
This year it seems he feels he has a right to ensure I am lonely on christmas day. He rang all the kids to ask if they wanted to spend the day with him and OW. D18 instantly said no and he was clearly taken aback by this so he asked why. She told him she wasn't about to leave me by myself on Christmas day and his response was 'Why not?' Not wanting to inflame things but wanting him to understand how passionate about this she was she simply asked him how he would feel if he had to spend Christmas day by himself. He said if he was forced to do so he would (I assume he meant it was alright for him to force me to be by myself). D13 deflected a response by saying she would have to speak to me first. She has since told me she doesn't want to go but hasn't told H this yet. I think she will stick by this but she does have a tendancy to suddenly want to spend time with H if she and I have had a big arguement (as teens and parents frequently do) and so I'm not holding my breath here. As for S16 I have seen him for less than 30 mins this month and I have not heard from him about this situation. As my girls quite rightly pointed out he already lives with H and OW so may well just assume that this is where he should be on Christmas day. I am putting no pressure on any of my kids to be with me on Christmas day b/c if they truely want to be with their father then that is where they should be. For me Christmas no longer has the magic is used to have as I don't have an intact family anymore and so the reasons to celebrate are not as strong.
Me 43 XH 45 M 2.7.88 Divorce 7.10.09 Kids D20,S17 & D15
I am so sorry that your spouses do not or will not include you in their holiday plans.
I went thru a mood in the last few weeks where I wasn't sure if I wanted my husband to spend it with us (although deep down, I really did). He and I were text messaging one night and I pretty much told him that he did not have to feel obligated to spend Thanksgiving or Christmas with us and if he would like to spend it with someone else, he was free to do that. He texted back with a what do you mean.......and I spelled it out. He has no intentions of spending the holidays with anyone else other than us.
I don't think he has missed a holiday since all of this began which I thought he would.
My heart goes out to those of you who have to endure being alone.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
"For me Christmas no longer has the magic is used to have as I don't have an intact family anymore and so the reasons to celebrate are not as strong. "
ACJ--you need some new traditions, yes? If I am alone I am going walking in the woods, I've decided.
MG--The OW certainly seems to put up with a lot, huh?
M: 16 years Bomb 4/07 OW 20s long gone Divorced 11/09 I remarried New Guy Cooperative r w/X regarding D
"MG--The OW certainly seems to put up with a lot, huh?"
I am not sure if she does. Many times I think she must give him a piece of her mind based on the fact that when he comes over, he is usually in a bad mood but the longer he is here, the better his mood becomes BUT when he is ready to leave, he becomes tense and stressed.
He is here every holiday throughout the year, he is here on Saturday's, Sunday's and at least 1-2 days during the week.
Very strange.........
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
He told me in February that she is a screwed up person. I asked if she would cause harm to me and the kids if he were to come home and he said no.
She didn't but a few weeks after he was back at home, she was calling him again and he was calling her.
You know what happened next -- he moved out because he said he could not deal with things and also I was so nice to him.
Then a few days after that he told me how miserable he was.
And he is still gone and everytime I think he has hit rock bottom, he does not seem to.
I guess he will have to end up in the hospital for that to happen. I hope not but I have heard of MLCers getting so sick that they end up in the hospital.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
I've heard that also about them getting really sick!!! I hope that does not happen to your H but it sounds like that may be what has to happen for him to come to his senses.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
