Confused I really appreciate all of your help in this!
How long has your H been seeing OW?
My X has serious issues stemming frm his childhood like his father was & still is an alcholic and he was mentally and physically abusive to X.
X needs to get counseling before he can make any of his R work, but he first has to admit there is a promblem which he doesnt see any.
X OW is also younger then us. X is 38 and OW is 30. Before I found out about her they would go on excotic trips like to the carrabean islands adn X would say it wsa his business trips. She pays for it all. She also buys him clothes. The only thing he pays for are the groceries when he has the girls on his weekends.
I wonder does that really get old? Could it be considered a love language for them- Acts of service?
Some men just want to be taken care of in that perspective. X had no promblem when I was the only one working. He seemed very content to be the stay at home dad. Some men would feel 'inferior' since not being able to be the bread winner and all.
Gosh I would love to have my own sugar daddy about now too!:)
No worries Chicki, we're all here for support and if I'm able to give some, that's great. :-) He started seeing her the weekend after he left in mid Aug 2007. They've been together off and on. So just over a year. I think it does get old. Not on his part. But on her part. I believe this only because I used to do the same. I didn't have as much money to spend on him, but I still had some. And I bought him cologne, clothes, we would go out all the time, etc. Then the kids came. I had to stop spending so much on him and start paying for diapers and such. And it did get old with me. I love taking care of people, I'm a Cancer, it's what I do. But if you're constantly giving out of your love bank and it's never getting any deposits...it runs out. STBX definitely loves being taken care of. If he could sit around all day and night, playing PS3, sitting on the comp, and texting on his phone, drinking coke and eating junk food, he would. And if that meant, someone else taking care of his kids for him, the house, the bills, everything, he would be ok with that. I see their R heading in the same direction our's did. According to them both, she's a Cancer as well and me and her are long lost sisters or something. She's even tried being my BFF!!! (Little girl language of Best Friends Forever!!) Yeah, no thanks! He's been cheating on her the whole time they've been together. Not just with me, but with others. I know this for a fact. And he left her a few times to stay with friends because of their issues, not including the times he came back to my house. They fight ALL the time, she has gotten physical with him, her X ran over his motorcycle the first night they met....so much drama...the R is doomed. That's one of the reasons I say I'm so much better without him. He has made me an option, so why should I make him a priority.
Me- 29 X - 30 M - 7.5 years Final April 2009 S - 2005 D - 2007
Don't make someone a priority who only makes you an option.
A wise fish once said...Just keep swimming...Just keep swimming!
X is also a Cancer, but I dont think full Cancer he doesnt like taking care of others. I wasnt 'aloud' to get sick & make him be responsible.OW is an Aquarius. I'm a Scorpio.
They fight too but I guess not as much as we use to. We got to a point where thasts all we did as for any communcation. X is very moody, fine one second not the next.
I guess they dont fight as much around the kids, heck they have it made, she only once D11. I rememberd when we only had one , we would drop her off to mom's and go to the parks in Orlando. OW doesnt even have her child living w/ her during the summer unless its X turn to have our kids. I only know one big fight where X left and took our kids to his sister. The girls told me all about it cuz they can hear them upstairs all the from the garage outside.
Friday I dropped the kids to X. D8 was running a fever & did not look good @ all. I asked X if he had any cold medicine, to be prepared. When X gotr there she felt so bad she was teary b/c of a bad headache and MR UNCOMPASSIONATE raised his voice & asked her well what do u want me to do abouit it, I guess you will stay home alone & go w/ us (trick or treating).NO! she cried!
Saturday D11 calls me, they r @ the siters while X & OW r @ the football game AND D8 is still very much sick!!!!
They had been @ the sitters since early in the morning and the game didnt start till 2:30. Ow D11 fell off a scooter and was bleeding badly so much the sitter had to take her to get stiched up. Thats when they decided to return home b/c her kid had a booboo.
UGH, UGH, AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Why cant we have a clause in the agreement- if X cant take care of a sick child leave her /w mom!!
Oh my!!! Yep, I would gladly throw out ANY plans I had if one of my girls were sick and xH seemed to not care. And you have every right to be furious for your sick D being with a sitter. That burns me. Life goes on for the WAS, doesn't it? Sick kids just can't get in the way...Hmph!
Does your X know that you would gladly have taken her with you?
It really doesnt surprise me anymore for when we were still together, he would do the same. If we were @ the game and one was sick, he wouldnt leave the game early. Nothing has ever gotten in the way of his fun, fun fun.
Many times I would stay home w/ the sick child while he went out.
His first reaction on the phone before he saw D8 and I told him she was sick was "great!" sarcastically.
I thought about asking him to leave her w/ me but I knew he would say no, esp. b/c D8 is his favorite & he is (supposedly) trying to be get the FATHER OF THE YEAR award. HA! Never in the 10yr M did he take them trick or treating, now he was all about it, ofcoarse needs to put on a show for OW too.
chicki, your X and my STBX are neck and neck for 1st place in Dad of the Year. My friend last night even said, I wish I could find out exactly how many dads are in the world right now. That way we could give him that last number on a plaque and tell him congrats! lol STBX threw the biggest fit because I wouldn't remind him what we were doing for Halloween...then when I finally did, and he showed up, he spent the first half hour on the phone a few yards away from all of us. I could tell he was talking to OW cuz his voice was all low and he kept his head down.
Me- 29 X - 30 M - 7.5 years Final April 2009 S - 2005 D - 2007
Don't make someone a priority who only makes you an option.
A wise fish once said...Just keep swimming...Just keep swimming!
thankx chicki... I finally found something that made more sense than Confused! I figured that even if sometimes I don't feel like it, I can still pretend until I do. :-)
Me- 29 X - 30 M - 7.5 years Final April 2009 S - 2005 D - 2007
Don't make someone a priority who only makes you an option.
A wise fish once said...Just keep swimming...Just keep swimming!
