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Hi Sabrina, the reason he accuses you of cheating is because it is what HE is doing. H wants you to be available and he wants the OW. You do not need to justify yourself to improve on yourself. You are stepping out of the mold of what he expects and he does not like it. GAL, working and not giving all the attention back to him is starting to make him re-evaluate his self.

Keep it up.


Me 53
H 50
D16, D29
M 22 years
bomb 7/08 INH - alien pod replaces H
8/08 - OW (direct report), I work there also
bomb II - H moves 10/1
expose ow 10/22
D to be final 9-09
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Thank you so much that really helps I needed some reassurance

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thats what my H does too, turn the suspicion on me, i look at him and laugh! i hate driving, wont unless its kids school or my drs, i have the most messed up hair from chemo, oh its funny how they turn the blame isnt it?

you are doing good, just hang in and come to us when u are gonna be weak!


M 36
XH 34
3 children
If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand. Mark 3:25
"your mood swings are giving me whiplash" twilight
ALIVE FREE AND HAPPY 2010

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You will find a lot of reassurance on here. I told my W I had plans tonight and the first thing she asked was if I was going on a date. They do want to project what they are doing on you. Keep strong, stay focused and enjoy life as much as you can.


A warrior does not give up on what he loves, he finds the love in what he does

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...rue#Post1554666
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Hi Sabrina,

I want to add my welcome to you.

I can't imagine the anxiety this puts you through.

I want to offer you another perspective. While you shouldn't have to live with infidelity, many folks survive this situation, heal and even improve their marriages.

It doesn't always start with force and boundaries though. It's important to assess what your H is getting from this situation other than what he has at home....what is so darn appealing about the OW(s)? Before you dash off the freedom to do as he pleases answer and extra sex answer.....ask the hard questions? What's the 400 lb gorilla in the room that no one talks about?

For some it's body issues, for some it's money, status, for some it's children, for some it's time and how they feel about themselves.

Ask yourself what has changed since you were the point of attraction?


sg
Love is PATIENT, love is KIND, LOVE never fails / DB since 2001
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He has told me before I had my two girls he used to go on lunch dates with other women.

But since I had my kids he has been cheating on a regular basis he takes days of work and takes he on day trips out. He was traeting me very badly.

But now i have got into shape and started working part time, he is allot nicer to me but i know he hasnt stopped cheating.

Everyone has told me that he is a very insecure man especially since he has started going bald. Also he has told me that he always wants to know that he can have any woman he wants. But I just dont understand it people find me attractive intelligent and bubbly, but all this has distroyed my confidence.

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Sabrina, I know plenty of bald guys who do not feel the need to cheat on their wives.
You cannot stop him, only he can make that choice. Focus on your own self-esteem, because he cannot 'make' you feel anything. Peace.


Me:44, WAW hx bi-polar H:48, hx of abuse
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Sabrina, it may not make any sense but it has NOTHING to do with you. It is all about his issues and what insecurities he has. Do good things for yourself and your kids. Hugs.

kat


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Sabrina,

I am sorry to hear of your situation. I know just how hard it can be.

Have you considered going to Retrouvaille with your husband?

Take Care,

RMG

Last edited by RMG; 10/15/08 05:33 PM.

"The bad things in life open your eyes to the good things you weren't paying attention to before." from "Good Will Hunting"

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Also he still expects to sleep with me what should i do?

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