Glam, I think your H is being unreasonable, but I'm not feeling very patient right now, so I am not sure I can give decent advice. The way I'm feeling, if I were in your position I'd probably smack him when he said that.
When you have a chance, would you check my thread? I could really, really use some support right now.
Thanks... Dawn
Me 45/H 47, no kids Together since 1985; M/1992 Bomb1 (EA-OW1, age 22) 2001 Bomb2 (EA/PA-OW2, age 22) 10/2007, A continues H left 11/24/08 minimal contact, no legal action http://tinyurl.com/DawnHope1
Wish I could come and watch the kids.........but when I think about your H and him saying you expect so much. That hits hard because our husbands do not live with us, they do not have to take care of the house, the kids, and the day to day responsibilities. They come over and yes, they do help, but they leave at the end of the day and we are still doing it all.
I think he wanted to control you, bring you down. Sure, you may have reacted out of anger but sometimes they have to be able to take it, too, because we are not perfect and we, too, get in a funk.
We cannot take back our actions/words but we can learn from them and move forward.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
Thanks everyone. It was a rather interesting day. H showed up around 3pm. He had a work committment earlier and I knew that he wouldn't be over by 12:30pm.
When he arrived he gave me a few hugs and kisses. Asked me if I was going to behave. Meaning not fight I am sure.
I asked if he wanted to take the kids to the pumpkin patch. It was loads of fun. A train ride, pick a pumpkin, ferry boat ride and an animal petting area.
H carried the heavy pumpkin we picked or should I say I picked. H mentioned that I was getting him back by making him carry the pumpkin. H was a great sport today.
He came along with no prior notice, since I had not mentioned the pumpkin patch at all. It was just a spur of the moment thing.
We came back home and I fixed salads for dinner. Once again h was such a sport. Eating a healthy meal I picked when that is really not what he likes. I thanked him for trying something new to eat.
We just hung out with the kids and did lots of laughing. I asked if he was coming over on saturday and he said if you want me to. I said of course.
He gave the kids baths and then said his goodbyes. Gave me a few hungs and kisses goodbye. I said what time are you coming over tomorrow. H is getter smarter.....in the morning.
So ok he is not giving me a time now. Gee wonder why!
So this is nice he came over today which we rarely see him on Fridays and then again tomorrow.
I did thank him for spending time with me and the kids.
Ok lets see what tomorrow brings.
Me 50 H 42 S 22 S 9 D 7 M 12 T 17 H moved out 8/2006 H moved home 1/2007 for 3 weeks H moved home 5/2011 for good
"Learn from yesterday ~ Live for today ~ And hope for tomorrow"
Another thing that was quite interesting that h brought up today. I had left on my desk a brochure to "A weekend to remember" which is a marriage retreat by Family Life.
We have gone in the past to other events presented by them when I guess you could say our m was strong. I had left this brochure out on my desk for the past few weeks.
H asked was that a hint. I said I was thinking how nice it would be if we could go, but we could save that for when you come home.
He said something like it would not be that important now, I just said it would mean more if their was a committment that you moved home.
I would love to go, but I just know I wouldn't be able to handle it if h wasn't home. It would just be too emotional for me.
I just thought it was interesting that h noticed. It has been sitting there for a few weeks and tonight was the first time he mentioned it, but he did say he noticed it the first day it was sitting there.
I just found this kind of interesting.
Me 50 H 42 S 22 S 9 D 7 M 12 T 17 H moved out 8/2006 H moved home 1/2007 for 3 weeks H moved home 5/2011 for good
"Learn from yesterday ~ Live for today ~ And hope for tomorrow"
I'm glad your H notice the brochure. There is another retreat that you might check out from family dynamics. It's supposed to save marriages. You might check it out & see what you think.
I believe your H is having a guilt trip but he blames everything on you. Your job is just as important as his, it brings in money.
Yeah! H is on his way. Rather early! I was at the gym when he called. I said thanks h for coming early. I really appreciate that.
He asked what we should do today? I said whatever you like. We will probably get the kids some winter jammies and slippers.
H was asking if I could make another healthy salad for him. Hmmmmm he must have really liked it.
I love the gym! I am working on some new equipment and can really feel the results after 2 days. Getting my a$$ kicked at the gym, but it is so worth it.
Check in later!
Me 50 H 42 S 22 S 9 D 7 M 12 T 17 H moved out 8/2006 H moved home 1/2007 for 3 weeks H moved home 5/2011 for good
"Learn from yesterday ~ Live for today ~ And hope for tomorrow"
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
How did you get your H on AD's? I really think they would help mine. I have actually thought he's needed them for a while. A family history of depression. Anyway, just curious.
I think I may go back and read your sitch because you seem to have been going through this a very long time and i have a feeling I will be too.
If you focus on the past, you ruin the future. You can only live for today.
