Am I reading this wrong or are you annoyed she is contacting you? Is it cause this is confusing? Isn't contact and her asking you for your advice and help a good thing?
Exciting about the moustache! You should grow a handle-bar one lol!
(((JWS))) hi!! hello mister! you are gtting some YUMMY CHEESE!!! she is all over you. keep it up. PMA. maybe you will continue to have one joint life and the money thing won matter protect yourself finacially..but emotionally she really needs you. more than anyone else. she calls you when she is the weakest. That is huge.
keep it up- get a punching bag and knock the sh*t out of it
xo P
Pisces M 31 H 32 M 7 yrs S 5/10 Beginning Contact! Vibes Hot Tub Cheese
the texting has continued quite a bit, lots about the computer but that issues has finally been solved with Mac coming through on the repairs. then she took in the car in for an oil change and got had (although she does not know it) they talked her into a bunch of crap and more money issues. I just listened a lot, did not offer any help or advice just listened I did tell her that she knows she when it come down to it she won't starve so quite stressing over money.
we have been talking a lot about my work. lots of things going on these days some good some bad, I have been texting her pretty much everything interesting like I use to and she has been responding to all of it. Last night our mighty BEAVERS took down USC and i was stuck in the jet the entire time but she made sure I had text updates of the highlights.
it is confusing but I have zero expectations and even less hope so I just take it for what it is and have fun chatting with her when I can. I did look at punching bags and may get on this weekend because I do have a lot of pent up anger. right now its coming out in early morning dreams that are leaving my first few awake hours rough, but I want to make sure it does not pop up any other place.
I have not seen her in over a month since our crappy anniversary, and have been toying with the idea of asking her to dinner, but ever time I put the phone down and never call because in the moment I just don't want to see her or hear her say no. I am going out of town in a few weeks and before that I may offer or she if she wants to watch my dog while i am gone. I know how stressed with school she is too and don't want to add to that or be blamed for any of it so another reason to avoid her.
"life's and dance, you learn as you go" I have no idea where I am going or what I want out of life but I am starting to dance again anyways just to see where it takes me.
Me 27, W26 T-12 M-4 SEP 4/29/08 Holding 250 miles Awaiting Support Current
It sounds like you are having more interactions with her, and they're friendly and positive, which is awesome. And, you totally listened to her without commenting about the car repair and reassured her of your support. You're really doing an amazing job of dbing, whether it feels like that to you or not.
I hear your conflict and anger, but you're managing it. I think the punching bag is a great idea. Maybe I should get one too...
Are they good dreams (making you miss her) or bad dreams (making you angry at her) that you're having? Dreams are hard, they're so real, they're hard to let go of when you wake up.
It is in the shelter of each other that people live.--Irish proverb
Well the dreams have been both god and bad. I think that the bad ones are a a way of processing the anger on a subconscious level, then the good ones are thrown in to ensure that I keep a high state of confusion. ☺ they are not the end of the world but they do linger and make me grumpy in the mornings, that kind of sucks because I am a morning person and generally love that time of day.
So tomorrow is the 12th year since we started dating, since we dated for 8 before we got married it has always been an important date for us. I did two things for her that together seem like a bit much but they were not intended to be paired it just worked that way with timing. Every year I have given her a long stem rose for each year. This year I still sent a dozen roses but I made them yellow so its more of a friends think and not romantic, the card just said thanks for all the years of friendship.
This week coming up is midterms, and she is stressed. At the store the other day I found season 4 of the office. She has the other three seasons and watches them to veg out and release stress, so I bought and mailed that too. She got that on Friday and sent very happy thanks a bunch!! Text.
So one was marking an important day and the other was something nice for a stressed out friend, if she takes that any other way then that’s her problem but I don’t think she will.
As for me a had a great weekend, I got to hang out with my parents, get my puppy back and I hung out with a great friend. We ended up tearing up the town and having a blast. We did have a few talks about my M. He told me he thinks its time to get a D or at very least legal S. I thanked him and said I understood where he was coming from but I have my own issues to resolve before I can walk away from her knowing I have tried my best, I don’t know what the timeline will be but thanks for caring enough to look out for me. It made me realize what great friends I have. I have talked with him and others a lot over that last 6 months and not one of my close friends have said this, they really gave me a lot of time to work on things before jumping to that conclusion and even now respect my decisions.
I think his conversation was from sensing feelings with in me. I have been thinking about it a lot and still can not answer the questions in my head, but for the first time the idea of me Ding her is in my head. Who knows what will happen but I will consider all my options. This mainly stems from her infidelity (even if is not physical) and me not wanting to be accepting of this. I can be her friend but, could I ever be her lover? Maybe but only with a ton of work that she is unwilling to do, so right now I hang around simply to wait and see but not hopeful and that I not a bad thing.
There is so much uncertainty in my future right now. In about 4 weeks I will be reassigned to a new job. I can stay where I am, go to Japan, or VA. It is all out of my hands so I try not to worry about it but I have been playing out in my head how each will effect my DBing and M. I think that if I can’t stay here Japan would give me a ton of opportunities to live for my self, and travel. It was also her top choice for our next station before she peace out.
Sorry the last half of this was just random journaling but it was helpful
Me 27, W26 T-12 M-4 SEP 4/29/08 Holding 250 miles Awaiting Support Current
JWS, you sound like you are in a pretty good place overall. I don't think that the things you did were bad.
My W spent the night here on Friday night because she was watching the kids while I went out. In the morning, I rolled the windows down in her car so it wouldn't be hot inside when she and my son left to go spend the afternoon at the Bass Pro Shop. Afterward, I was a little upset at myself and I still am a little, but, I don't want to be a sour old man who let the F'ing over given to him change who he is.
I think that if we always let our character drive our behavior, we will be OK.
Hope you are ok JWS. Are you doing anything nice this weekend? Any news on your job yet? I loved the presents you got her, very thoughtful! Which version of the Office was it? British Office or American Office?
Hi julia. Nothing special for the weekend just a bit of relaxing from the long week. I did a bit of woodworking in the garage today witch was great.
The office was the American version. I have not seen the English one but I hear that it is good.
I have also been playing with my dog a lot so that has been pretty great. I have checked on your post as well. I think that the email from Him was good same with the invite for facebook just don't read into anything else other people post but it's another means of him talking to you
Me 27, W26 T-12 M-4 SEP 4/29/08 Holding 250 miles Awaiting Support Current
Sorry I have been a ghost around here, It has been a very busy and strange few weeks. to make a very long story short I had another very near death experience in a plane (this time at night with bad seas at the back of the boat) this has caused me to totally change my out look on life. I just sort of work up to realize that I am happy, and love my life and I am not going to live this way any longer. my wife was very up set about the incident then it was back to her selfish ways and not talking about anything real. well no more I know this is not DBing but for me that is over. I sent her an ultimatum. there is now a line in the sand fix this marriage now or Divorce, either one will be happening soon. I actually fear her choosing to fix it more, I am not sure how I could ever trust her or feel that she is not just dragging things out to take advantage of it.
Basically i reached then end of that rope, and I just can't hang on any longer. I really feel that if we stayed in limbo I would just resent her and we would also lose our friendship, but this way after time there is a chance to remain friends. I know I gave it a good shot but I also compromised who I am to hold out for her, and put up with behavior that is totally unacceptable.
I hope everyone is well and I will keep checking in on you but with everything going on I have hardly even sat down in front of my computer. I was thinking about what successful DBing has done for me.
Michele says that her methods can not promise to save your marriage but they can save you and they have for me. by following her methods here is what I have found.
great success at work by focusing on myself a deep stronger relationship with God rediscovered great friendships that were lost a new a strong relationship with my brother a new RL friend in Lost managed to keep a friendship with my W despite all this crap most importantly I kept my head above water and never gave up although at times it felt I was barley going to make it.
I bought the book for one reason only to keep my wife and instead I got all those things and have meet all of you so money well spent I think, Thanks Michele although it was not the thanks I had hoped for it is equally as special.
Mike
JWS was the initials of my pets (Jester, Willow, and Scout) but I don't need that anymore I have gained so much and don't care who knows that
Me 27, W26 T-12 M-4 SEP 4/29/08 Holding 250 miles Awaiting Support Current
