Thanks everyone, Kat, Puppy, H4H, whatdidido, Starshyne, yenko69 for being here for me.
Its so hard, I want to tell W come back I want to hold her again, but I know I can't. This is soo hard, she is not capable of doing the things that would be required of her to reconcile. I know this, W knows that I deserve better than her, I deserve better than she has treated me. It's just a shame because I lover her so much.
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Whatdidido: She is feeling her choice and feeling all that she has done. TO have done what she did, and not be able to do anything to change it, is a horrible horrible feeling. She didn't correct you when you said the thing about her going back to who she loves, meaning OM. That surprises me. I always thought she would be back.
She is feeling the choices she has made, she knew I would never stand for any A ever. She knows what kind of man I am. No whatdidido, she did not correct me when I said do what you want be with the person you love but leave me alone. She wants to do her own thing, have some fun with the kids every now and then go do what she wants.
Sara, in 2005 we still had 3 kids at home, so W was with them all day. It was very stressful for her and I knew this. So I made every effort to make sure she had time to do what she wanted. Well that caused some problems that we worked through together, we talked and we both worked on our R and things improved. W always wanted more, always pointing out what other people had and we didn't, always stressed out about the kids, always felt trapped.
I'm going to have to set limits, I cannot keep letting her drag me down, I need to move on with my life, Everyone who knows me including my STBX knows I'm a good person, I just hope there is someone out there for me. I need to work on myself and forget about my W (Thats going to be so hard) Why God do I lover her so much.
I will not let her throw me into another tailspin.
When you're dreaming with a broken heart. The waking up is the hardest part. You roll outta bed and down on your knees And for the moment you can hardly breathe, Wondering was she really here? Is she standing in my room? No she's not, 'cause she's gone, gone, gone, gone, gone.... (John Mayer)
W41 M10.75 years D9, D6, D6, S5 OM confirmed 12/07 merry christmas to me WAM (Walk Away Mom) 05/31/08 W files for D 07/18/08 Date I'll forgive W for A = never
whatdidido and H4H I wounder what effects its having on my stbx She has been hit with so may truth darts lately, she has to hurt.
W has the kids Saturday, soccer game in the morning, birthday party in the afternoon, dinner at her dads, then back to her place for the evening - back to reality for her on Saturday.
That will be enough for her for awhile, thats 2.5 days this month she had the kids.
What a mom
When you're dreaming with a broken heart. The waking up is the hardest part. You roll outta bed and down on your knees And for the moment you can hardly breathe, Wondering was she really here? Is she standing in my room? No she's not, 'cause she's gone, gone, gone, gone, gone.... (John Mayer)
W41 M10.75 years D9, D6, D6, S5 OM confirmed 12/07 merry christmas to me WAM (Walk Away Mom) 05/31/08 W files for D 07/18/08 Date I'll forgive W for A = never
At least they have a great dad to take care of them.
I am sure your W is hurting. Your W and mine seem to have some of the same problems. As much as I would want to work it out, I don't think my W has it in her to do it. It is a sad fact of life, but one that has to be accepted.
Last edited by yenko69; 09/27/0812:24 AM.
A warrior does not give up on what he loves, he finds the love in what he does
I think most of our WAS are majorly messed up. But now I'm at the point of thinking wouldn't it be really cool to have a R with someone that wasn't majorly messed up, one that could really be there for us? I haven't had that in a while now so I think we've all learned to appreciate that, too? Karen
I seem to following you around a little bit. I could not agree more, no matter how bad it may hurt. There is always someone that can appreciate us as we need to be. Whether that is in the future of with we are here now is the question you have to ask yourself. Take care and sleep well.
A warrior does not give up on what he loves, he finds the love in what he does
There is always someone that can appreciate us as we need to be. Whether that is in the future of with we are here now is the question you have to ask yourself. Take care and sleep well.
Hi! Yeah, I think I've already answered that one for myself. I'm going to move on living life as well as I can, happy with my kids, and if H never wakes up or realizes he's lost a good thing in our family, then I will be ok. It's too painful just to sit there kind of mentally waiting for someone that may or may not ever be there again, and I'm leaning toward to the not in my case! Karen
yenko69: Your W and mine seem to have some of the same problems. As much as I would want to work it out, I don't think my W has it in her to do it. It is a sad fact of life, but one that has to be accepted
Yeah, I know what you mean, it would be to hard for them to submit to the conditions of coming back to work on R, they are in their own little world and in a fog, maybe when they crash (could take years) they will want to reconcile but I won't be here or the same person a year from now. They are in a kind of MLC which from what I've read takes awhile for them to come out of the fog.
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Karen: I'm at the point of thinking wouldn't it be really cool to have a R with someone that wasn't majorly messed up, one that could really be there for us? I haven't had that in a while now so I think we've all learned to appreciate that, too?
my W was the one messed up, I guess I was a little to accomidating and she took advantage of me. Wouldn't it be great karen, to have someone that wasn't - this scares me, and I keep thinking of you, kat, Sara, whatdidido and lwb and all the other women here and I think to myself there are women out there who are single who are not messed up who were treated poorly by their H who if I could only find one and treat her like I treated my stbx, they would appreciate me more than anything in the world, being appreciated is a wonderful thing
Well kids are away with W, might go out tonight, on my 4th load of laundry and I have to scrub the bathrooms out and pay some bills, so I better get moving if I want to go out
When you're dreaming with a broken heart. The waking up is the hardest part. You roll outta bed and down on your knees And for the moment you can hardly breathe, Wondering was she really here? Is she standing in my room? No she's not, 'cause she's gone, gone, gone, gone, gone.... (John Mayer)
W41 M10.75 years D9, D6, D6, S5 OM confirmed 12/07 merry christmas to me WAM (Walk Away Mom) 05/31/08 W files for D 07/18/08 Date I'll forgive W for A = never
