Love is a funny thing. I know you don't love him anymore. He may earn your love in the future, but worry about that when it comes. Keep enjoying everyday!
*HUGS*
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
Ready, why is it that I can see how sexy you are but your W cant? Boy, she has no idea what she has lost!!! But, when our WAS have their heads so far up their @ss how can they see what they are missing?
Maybe H will grow, maybe he wont. I no longer have the desire to see that through. This time is about ME. I go in for my biopsy tomorrow. Will let you know how it goes when I hear back. Again, just reminds me how weak he is to walk away at this point. God forbid OW would actually need to lean on him for anything......
Broken Hearted ------------------ Me - 36 H - 37 S - 8 Married - 1992 ILYNILWY - August 2007 Moved Out - March 2008 OW Revieled - May 28, 2008 Filed for D - July 2, 2008
Things went really well today. The procedure was not that big of a deal. Thank you for keeping me in your thoughts. I should hear next week the results.
I am trying so hard to let STBXH go. I really try not to focus on him anymore, but today made me angry that he was not there with me. I know that I will get through this just fine. I have had to deal with so much and have been able to let go. He, on the only hand, has only run from things and carries everything deep down inside him. Because I understand this, I feel very sorry for him. I believe that one day the guilt is going to smack him like a dump truck. It will definately suck to be him. But even if that does not happen, at least I know I let go of someone who is no longer a good person.
I hate that he still fills some many of my thoughts. I am trying to stop that but he has been apart of me for so long it is really hard to get him out of my head. Do I think he even thinks about me? No, so I should not waste my energy thinking about him. I am trying, I really am.
Broken Hearted ------------------ Me - 36 H - 37 S - 8 Married - 1992 ILYNILWY - August 2007 Moved Out - March 2008 OW Revieled - May 28, 2008 Filed for D - July 2, 2008
I'm glad it went well for you today. I am saying a prayer for you every day and I hope the results will be good for you next week. You're so brave!
It is so hard not to think about our H... I'm also fighting with my DAM occupying my head .
(((HUG)))
I ask not for a lighter burden, but for broader shoulders ____________________________________________________ M 46 H 45 D 17 M/T 23 Bomb #1 (ILYBNILWY) 12.06 Bomb #2 (OW) 12.07 Bomb #3 (chose OW over M) 9.08
Still keepin' up with you and your sitch. Size 4, girl!!! Tell me your secret!!
You are amazing!
Quote:
Please understand that I do not see you as a friend. Friends do not treat me the way you have treated me
You know, for some reason, I am terrified to say this to H. I know I should, it IS how I feel (how can I be friends with someone who has no cares about me, etc). But I am scared to say it out loud to him. Maybe I am afraid he'll shut me out totally and I'll miss him. Maybe I am afraid he'll be weird with the kids (taking them more, not telling me day to day fun stuff about them, etc). Don't know, but I am.
Karma will not bite you, but no more white lies, silly girl.
I know EXACTLY how you feel with that - how can you be friends with these people?
Funny, I could have forgiven him and welcomed him back home as a H, but I really don't want him as just a friend, and that is all he wants to be to me. I just don't think I could relate to him like that. Maybe that is a secret of DB that I didn't / couldn't get to - I was never able to detach like that, especially around him. It pisses him off, that all or nothing thing. But it is how I feel. I have enough friends. Maybe that dooms any reconciliation in the future...
lwb, we have got to go out for some beers here real soon. Thanks for checking back in with me. It has been a while. I guess I finally got to the point where I no longer cared what STBXH thought of me. He is playing games to keep me in his back pocket so he can feel good. It made me miserable. Like I have said, I am very kind and compassionate with him, just completely detached. He is like the babysitter now. He comes, I go, I get back and ask how things went, thank him and send him on his way. He needs to know that there are conciequenses for behaving the way he has and one is losing me as his friend.
Thanks for the ego boost on the size 4 thing. Was not trying to brag, but I felt soooo good abou tit I wanted to share. And trust me, there are not going to be anymore little white lies. I really did not mean to do it, it just slipped out.
Broken Hearted ------------------ Me - 36 H - 37 S - 8 Married - 1992 ILYNILWY - August 2007 Moved Out - March 2008 OW Revieled - May 28, 2008 Filed for D - July 2, 2008
Like I have said, I am very kind and compassionate with him, just completely detached
Such a good place for you to be. Your H seems to accept that you won't be friends with him. My H would get very angry and defensive and think I was crazy. Another difference I noticed is that your H will be or is already upset about you being with someone else. My H would high-five me if I told him I was dating.
It pisses him off, that all or nothing thing. But it is how I feel. I have enough friends. Maybe that dooms any reconciliation in the future...
I am a point that I really dont care how he feels. He threw away our M, me and my son. Why would it bother me if it upset him that I did not see that as a friendly gesture. He does not deserve my friendship...my kindness, yes, friendship no. Guess its part of that detaching thing, not really caring. Also, I truly believe that too many times these men dont see the consiquences that their actions cause. If being his friend did not get you to R, why continue to do it? I admire those who can do it long term, but I dont have that luxury. Staying in limbo was draining me. Sure, he was acting so much kinder to me but he was also having sex with his OW. I am a all or nothing person as well. He can see how well I am doing, how happy I am. If he wants to be a part of it, then HE can do the work to come back into the fold. I paved a very nice road for him up until this point and he still chose not to take it. He can see what it would be like to come back, but he is still chosing her. I now am letting go and chosing to create my own life. I guess that is what happens when you drop the rope, you dont care if their feelings are hurt. I just keep reminding myself that he did not care if my feelings were hurt when he sleeps with OW.
Broken Hearted ------------------ Me - 36 H - 37 S - 8 Married - 1992 ILYNILWY - August 2007 Moved Out - March 2008 OW Revieled - May 28, 2008 Filed for D - July 2, 2008
But, when our WAS have their heads so far up their @ss how can they see what they are missing?
.