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yes upside
that is amazing -your H seems to becoming so aware of himself
its like a miracle
I wish all of our stories would go so smoothly
keep up the good work and continue to find your own life and pma
he really sounds like he is moving
peace


married 14 years
H 42
bomb 2/07 IDLYA
D final 3 /09
M ow D ow
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Hi na, glam, sh and peace-
I am almost afraid to admit it but I think my H and I may have turned a corner. So now that I said that, you can see that I have some expectations...it is hard not to. Any suggestions on how to get rid of those pesky little things?

My H called me yesterday morning and we met for lunch. It was nice and we seem to be getting more relaxed around each other. During lunch he did say he has too much work to do this weekend so he isn't going to go to the wedding but he asked if I want to do something tomorrow night. I told my H that he said some very sweet things during our C session the night before. He said he thought it was the best C session we have had.

Originally Posted By: peacetoday
I wish all of our stories would go so smoothly
peace, I guess smoothly is a relative term...because you know it hasn't felt smooth to me...but in comparison to many here, I know it has. I am truly grateful that my H is making effort but I also know I am not home free yet. How I wish everyone here could see the progress in their WAS that I have recently seen in mine.

na-
Originally Posted By: new_attitude
Is there anything you can add to your house that would make him feel more comfortable? Do you have any pictures of his d? Is there a special food that he likes that you could try to have on hand?
Thanks for the suggestion. I have thought about it...I don't want to do anything too obvious...hmmm...

So, I have to figure out how to get those expectations in check.

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Upside
I dont have any suggestions on how to keep expectations low
just keep taking care of you
your H definitely seems like he turned a corner and relizes all his confusion was not about the M
what a revelation that must be for him..
we knew that all along!
Keep being fun with him and enjoy the reconnection
peace


married 14 years
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D final 3 /09
M ow D ow
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Thanks peace...I appreciate your support as always.

Lots more positives have been happening. I have seen my H everyday now for a week (most contact initiated by him)...by far the most consecutive days since the bomb. My H actually spent the night at my house last night...and slept with me in my bed. We are making progress! \:\)

We have a C appointment tonight. My H asked about it this morning and said something about us having had a nice weekend and he is hoping that C doesn't change anything for us.

I am still trying to keep my expectations low. I have moments where I worry that he will get scared and back off again. I know I will be okay he does but I certainly hope he doesn't.

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Hi Up!
It sounds like a great week or so with your h. I'm so glad to read it!

Good luck on keeping your expectations low. As things get better, it gets harder and harder to not expect more. At least that's how it was/is for me.


me- 42
H- 51
married 11 years
D-9, S-9, D-3

bomb 4/07
h moved out 8/07
h moved back 4/08

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Upside
great!
Im so happy yu and H are making progress
I think its normal to always fear a bit, but try to let those negative thoughts go
they are only thoughts
action says your H is moving closer

keep taking care of you
Pma Gal
peace


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Wow Upside I am still waiting for h to stay the night. That hasn't happened in almost 2 years for me. To me that is real progress, but I think your h stayed awhile back too if I can recall.

Keep doing what you are doing.


Me 50
H 42
S 22
S 9
D 7
M 12
T 17
H moved out 8/2006
H moved home 1/2007 for 3 weeks
H moved home 5/2011 for good

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Hi na, peace and glam-
It feels like we are making real progress but I am afraid to say that because I don't want to get my hopes up.

My H texted me on Monday saying that he was tired (I guess he didn't sleep all that well when he had stayed the night) and wanted to go home but he couldn't because we had C. I told him he could skip C if he wanted to. He said he knew that it meant a lot for him to go. I told him it did but that I didn't want him to go if he didn't want to be there. I know he really didn't want to go but he did end up going. I was amazed that he was able to think about my feelings...that seems like a huge step.
Originally Posted By: glamgirl
I think your h stayed awhile back too if I can recall.
It has been a rare occassion when my H has stayed the night with me...even rarer to sleep in my bed...that was only the 2nd time in over well over a year.

My kids and I are leaving on vacation today. My H came over last night because he wanted to see me before we left...that was very sweet of him because he I know he had an extremely busy day. He actually did end up staying over (on the couch). When he left, I gave him a key to the house and told him he was welcome to come here and stay. I told him I hope he will come by and make himself more comfortable here. We will see.

My H told me last night about how crazy busy work will be for him in the near future. This might keep him from working on our M...I hope not but I have to be prepared for that. Is it possible that someone how has progress as far as my H has to turn around and go back the other way? I guess anything is possible.

I see that my H is continuing to move toward me...little things like holding my hand or even last night he asked me to lay next to him on the couch. \:\) I still sense some resistance from my H on some issues...the biggest seems to be him being completely comfortable at my house. My H made an IC appointment for next week...I am keeping my fingers crossed that he will go.


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Anything is possible, that is why it is so critical for you to connect with your h and have not expectations and no R talk. Your h is really making progress. This is huge. It seems like about the same time frame my h started making a connection back.

Keep doing what you are doing!


Me 50
H 42
S 22
S 9
D 7
M 12
T 17
H moved out 8/2006
H moved home 1/2007 for 3 weeks
H moved home 5/2011 for good

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woo hoo! keep it up upside!!!

Have a fun vacation!


Nature Girl
M 40
H 40
M 15, T 19
D11 S9
bomb 3/07 (MOW)

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