It was Her, I answered and she was sooooo Happy and just spilling her guts about how great school was. She was super excited, she talk and talked and told several stories from her day. One the teacher called on her and her answer was so well studied and thought out that she only had good things to say and nothing to add. \:\) I did tons of validating and let her know I was proud.
This is so excellent! You are still the person that she wants to call and share this stuff with--that is HUGE! I'm very happy for you & glad you had a busy, PMA-filled week.
I have to work a little this weekend, too. Ugh! What are you planning on doing on your day off?
It is in the shelter of each other that people live.--Irish proverb
Well turns out we are flying on Sunday so tomorrow is off. There is a Parents and Partners thing at the School. Since I was not going to be able to come my folks are going, if fact they will be here shortly then drive down there tomorrow. She said it was ok if I go, I was thinking that maybe a break would be good and I thought I had to work anyways.
Well I came home to an email today. She said was a bit worried because she needs some stuff done to her computer to make it work with the school. For as much as a gamer as she is, she is not computer savvy. I am pretty good and she knows this. She was emailing for help and hoping I was coming down tomorrow so that I could help her.
I am not sure if she wants to see me just to get help or not, but she thinks of me when she needs help and that can't be a bad thing.
so looks like the day off will be 4 hour drive, little event at the school, lunch few hours on the computer, then 4 hour drive back to get ready for Sunday. More chance to show good sides of me.
OK here is an issue that I could use some advice. About three weeks ago I stopped wearing my wedding ring. I never where it in the plane (at work half the time is on and half its not, so it’s not like I was a never take it off kind of guy) but it was not helping detach at all, it was a constant reminder of her and was killing me. I put it on when she was here, then ended up taking it off in front of her when I told her she could have a D. I have yet to put it back on.
I am wondering what signals that sends to her. Less pressure because I am your friend first and I know that, or I have given up as your H. ???? Racking my brain trying to decide weather or not to wear it tomorrow. It kills me to see her without hers and I am just wondering what kind of impact it may have on her. I am not seeking an impact either way I just don't want to hurt her or my cause by not wearing it, but I would rather not. Hope that makes sense.
Julia, the guys that do that type of flying on a team are very good because they practice it until they are blue in the face, but all the maneuvers that they do are ones that we all use everyday. They just clean them up and make them impressive for a crowd. By the way today was every bit as painful as I thought it would be
Me 27, W26 T-12 M-4 SEP 4/29/08 Holding 250 miles Awaiting Support Current
JWS- thats great news that you have a "last minute" meeting- i think thats always the best kind...less pressure. im sure she wants to see you- she could have her comp fixed by anyone! and your parents going is so sweet as well..she is attached to them as well which is a good sign.
as for the ring put it back on. dont say anything about hers or yours...i have read a lot of things on these boards...in fact i think there is a post in wise DB'ers about it...if she asks just say you are still married or i just wanted to wear it. nothing major. look for the posts...
ive been wearing mine the whole time and my H hasnt. it is more of a statement for them- just like the bomb...it creates space.
some people may say different things about it...but i think you should wear it..
what do you think?
good luck tomorrow! yay!
Pisces M 31 H 32 M 7 yrs S 5/10 Beginning Contact! Vibes Hot Tub Cheese
help I am freaking out. I was doing simple stuff on her computer and crammed for time, when somehow I managed to wipe the hard drive. and she had not backed up her stuff, so now i am hours behind she was a bit upset, nothing major lost as its all backed up at my house from before she left, but i have to get her running so she can use it for school Monday and i have to hit the road to get to work tomorrow. I am crazy stressed, she wanted to cry at first but then calmed down
ok the school visit was good learned lots of stuff. we ran into her friend from the other day, she introduced me as her H and the friend was not surprised. I thought that was pretty cool. really good weekend on that front, I am just beating myself up about this computer stuff. I feel like i was her go to guy and I failed and caused her more stress.
Me 27, W26 T-12 M-4 SEP 4/29/08 Holding 250 miles Awaiting Support Current
Wow that was stressful, I got it about 85% back she did lose some stuff but it was not anything that needed to be turned in or anything. We ended leaving there very late though and now I am off to work.
Lots of positives. Introduced as H, very friendly all day. Next week she is going back to our home town for nephew’s bday. She has to drive through here to get there. I said I would like to go, she said that would be nice but she was staying through Monday but if I got a one way ticket home it would work out. Then I got two very nice hugs and she was very grateful for all the help and that we were there for the school thing. There was a different look in her eye. Very thankful and maybe even left with her wanting more.
Her back was very sore with stress and I offered to rub it to help, she shot me down twice and after the second one I said your being ridiculous. She shot me a look at first then I said not in a bad way, just you know that you back would feel better. She said you’re probably right and left it at that. I am going to get her a massage and send it with a card that say go work out the kinks, so she knows that I was thinking of her back not trying to get intimate with her.
Me 27, W26 T-12 M-4 SEP 4/29/08 Holding 250 miles Awaiting Support Current
thats so sweet JWS- im sure she will really appreciate that! and it sounds like she really enjoyed you being there...and you did save the day with her computer! 2 nice hugs- that is a big step bc it means she is comfy around you and you havent put any pressure on her so she is warming up to you keep it up! hope you are doing ok while working so hard!
Pisces M 31 H 32 M 7 yrs S 5/10 Beginning Contact! Vibes Hot Tub Cheese
Wow that was stressful, I got it about 85% back she did lose some stuff but it was not anything that needed to be turned in or anything. We ended leaving there very late though and now I am off to work.
Lots of positives. Introduced as H, very friendly all day. Next week she is going back to our home town for nephew’s bday. She has to drive through here to get there. I said I would like to go, she said that would be nice but she was staying through Monday but if I got a one way ticket home it would work out. Then I got two very nice hugs and she was very grateful for all the help and that we were there for the school thing. There was a different look in her eye. Very thankful and maybe even left with her wanting more.
Her back was very sore with stress and I offered to rub it to help, she shot me down twice and after the second one I said your being ridiculous. She shot me a look at first then I said not in a bad way, just you know that you back would feel better. She said you’re probably right and left it at that. I am going to get her a massage and send it with a card that say go work out the kinks, so she knows that I was thinking of her back not trying to get intimate with her.
This is all really good stuff--you are being introduced as her H, you are the go-to-guy for stuff that she needs fixed, and the massage gift is an awesome idea! Keep doing what you're doing...:)
It is in the shelter of each other that people live.--Irish proverb
There is some great stuff there! She introduced you as her husband to new people she has met so she is not pretending that you are not part of her life - even the physical distance between you is not impinging on that! Also she is asking you for help. Please don't beat yourself up fo not doing it perfectly, she won't see it that way. She will just see that you made the effort to help her and also that you cared enough to try and rectify the mistake. Do you think her love language is acts of service? I seem to remember that you bonded when you helped her move her stuff into her new place. Is there anything else like that you can do? P.S - I can't believe that you can fly like that, that is pretty amazing!! I thought all that was just for show I didn't realise you actually had to do that!
