Anxiously awaiting long term Patience!!

[iamlost]

I am running again with my eye set on the Las Vegas Marathon

Would you be willing to post to our threads a running journal...to keep me on track with running as well? I won't be able to cover the distance that you will, but I can try to keep up with the frequency.

[JWS]

I like the idea of that; it will keep me motivated and honest as well. Although I started training two weeks ago today is really day one of the 18 week cycle that I am using. It was a three mile run, and I was smart enough to go in the morning so it was nice and cool. I need to order the new shoes I have been looking at, I had some foot pain due to the older shoes I have now.

[JWS]

Tonight she has a social mixer at the school. This sad but I feel like the parent of a teenager hoping that she hangs out with the right crowd. I know she feels uncomfortable around married people but that would be so much better then a bunch of single friends. o well I am going to keep my fingers crossed but forget about her for a while. I am so not detached and need to get there.

[Continuing]

Hey JWS,
First of all...SWEET JOB!! I would love to be on the highway to the danger zone...(crap...maybe I am...I am on this BB after all...)

Secondly, I've been following your story for a while. We're similar ages, no kids, WAW's...My wife has recently moved out and I have been looking for people who have similar sitchs as me.
I wanted to formally say 'hi'. I don't have much advice as I am pretty new at this myself but I can lend you my support. I understand all too well what you are going through; the lonely bed thing...as I type, my friend, as I type...

I'm reading along!

[JWS]

C

thanks for reading man, It is always nice to see others are intressted in your sory as well. I am sorry that you had to be going through the same crap to find this place though. I will get cought up on your story tonight. I just wanted to say thanks.

[pisces9]

JWS
i was so worried when my H was hanging with the single guys at the beginning fo all this-- but it turned out to have worked in my favor. he saw that these guys were looking for the same girls as always-repeat cycle. they wanted girls just like themselves...he realized he has an amazing wife (me!) and that being single SUCKS. so dont worry if she hangs with married or single people...the world works in magical ways and i think she will get lessons from everywhere...i had to trust that my H would get lessons from so many places...not just my DB'ing. and it worked ...

[JWS]

That is a very good point, and I have not given all that much thought to her growing through out this process, mainly because I have not seen it myself, that does not mean it is not happening.

[pisces9]

believe me- i thought that too and at first i was convinced he wasnt growing bc he would play the blame game...i just listened an validated my way through that phase and then whammo- he started seeing his part. beleive me- she is growing- there is no way she isnt. going from being M to sep is huge and it takes time for the hurt to pass and the growth to occur...it may be slower bc you arent near eachother so just hang in there....you are doing great!!

[JWS]

Thanks

I am fearful of the growth as well. Only on a small level. I want her to grow in all ways and be the best person she can be. When you combined it with the blame game and how she thinks I have ruined her life, I don't want her to grow by thinking she is better off with out me.

well that’s just a little bit of the old fear coming out. I have made worlds of progress with this and it no longer really effects me but sometimes it is a thought that floats around in my head.

Well first day of classes, I really was hoping to hear something from her but nothing yet. that’s ok its not like I was placing any expectations on her, I am really excited about this and wanted to hear it went well. I sent a congrats and good luck email and text this morning, so I think calling would be a bit much, she already knows I care.

Thanks for listening.

[pisces9]

im sure she will contact you- she is probably racing around....give it some time

change is hard for ourselves but even harder when we arent sure what our spouse is doing to grow...thats why you have to grow and change and lead the way.