The Wifey - Still working.

[Virtually_Handsome]

(((((((Kelly Jo)))))))

Stay calm, girl! Let yourself breathe. Try to detach from his drama, and Ginny's, too! Get your feet on the ground, and get yourself stable. Try to get your focus back on what you are doing. You can do it!

[The Wifey]

I am having trouble. I have the scared feeling and I have to go outside and have lunch to try and get rid of it. I really hate that woman and the fact that he doesn't just tell her to back off. Twenty six years of history should be enough for him to do that.

[Virtually_Handsome]

I am having trouble. I have the scared feeling and I have to go outside and have lunch to try and get rid of it. I really hate that woman and the fact that he doesn't just tell her to back off. Twenty six years of history should be enough for him to do that.

Should be, but it isn't, I guess. I am wondering though, is she making herself look ridiculous? That might not hurt so much.

((((((Kelly Jo))))))

[The Wifey]

She looks rather ridiculous and seems to be pushing him, which I know he doesn't like. It might be ok for her to push, but not me. Who knows?

[The Wifey]

Somehow being angry at this woman helps because it gives me something to focus on besides the pit of my stomach. I know that sounds really pathetic. I am tired of the roller coaster.

I just want the PMA days. I want things to keep getting better. I know. It doesn't really matter what I want. I have to commit to getting it.

[Rob1231]

Posted this for karen43 not long ago - thought it might help you as well...

The Icky Old Band Aid Analogy

Remind yourself that your WAS is hurting, and they have applied the OP to their hurt like a band aid. But in fact, the OP is a really lousy band aid - they don't actually help the WAS heal, because the source of their pain is deep inside. The OP just temporarily covers up the hurt so your spouse can pretend this is helping.

Eventually the OP will get all gunky and smelly and black around the edges and start to peel away, and your spouse will wonder why in the world they ever thought this was a good way to make themselves feel better.

In the meantime, don't worry about the OP - they are insignificant. YOU are the one that matters.

[The Wifey]

Thank Rob. I just can't believe this woman. She's always been nice in the past and even took our son's senior pictures for us as a favor to my husband. We've been to her house for Halloween parties.

I am going for IC tonight. Then I plan to go to the library until it closes. I will get around to going home, then go right to my room. I feel like the icky, sticky band-aid right now.

Maybe I'll go for a milkshake before I head home, also. I can sit in the car and listen to my cd's a while.

[Rob1231]

I know how tough this is, KJo - I really, really do. Hang in there! (((Hugs!)))

The best suggestion I can give you is to remember, it all starts with your attitude. That's why we all say PMA is so very important. Not only do YOU feel better, but your PMA affects everyone around you.

So, ask yourself - what can YOU do for yourself - regardless of what anyone else does (H, OW, anybody!) - that will build up your PMA and keep it built up? I know it sounds kind of silly, but how can you PLAN for PMA?

[The Wifey]

I just don't know how right now. I'm not even sure I want to go home tonight.

[The Wifey]

I'd been so good. I have to just knock it off! I have to act as if and GAL and all that. I know I do. I have to believe in myself. I can do this. If he loses me as his wife I have to show him he has lost the best thing that every happened to him.

I've beat myself up enough. I don't deserve this. I have made mistakes and hurt him terribly, but none of them by themselves mean that its over. I have to stay strong. I have to go out and make a life for myself.

I pray he will want to stick around long enough to see it, but if he won't then he can have what he wants. He can be alone. He can figure himself out by himself. Alone. All alone.