WAW#12

[The Wifey]

I know you are tired, Phil. Its ok to go home and rest. Have a peaceful day. I'm glad to be part of your DB friends, Phil.

[LostPhil]

Jack, I did that on purpose. One I knew someone was going to say I should love myself.

I'm last on the list.

I could make a list of why I hate myself. I hate myself for destroying my family, because I would rather fight with my wife about drinking beer. I would let her get to me. I hate myself for fighting back with her and gave her ammunition to split us apart.

[The Wifey]

Phil,

I forgive you. You didn't destroy your family. You can't hate yourself because God loves you and God doesn't make junk. You are going to be ok, Phil. I promise you. You are going to get through this.

[LostPhil]

Cousin keeps texting me now acting like an idiot.

He text. Are you going to be home after work, because I'm coming over to get my stuff.

Sounds pissed. I text are you coming heavy?

He text me what? about 5 times.

Then text Just tell me if you are going to be home.

I call him. He doesn't answer. After tenth ring he must have rejected the call. I was going to leave him a voice mail.

I text call me. He doesn't.

I text I'm driving.

I already talked to him in email, and told him it wasn't working out. Leave his key.

Now he is going to act like a lunatic. He didn't even pay me anything and was more of a burden. He would use the Lords name in vain in my home. I told him to not do that. I would rather he run through the house with a five gallon jug of gasoline and light it on fire, then use the Lords name in vain. I kept having to remind him to not do it. I don't need my problems compounded with him here. I said he could stay here, not his children every night.

Children that would not listen to me. I already have two of them, but I think I have them straighted out. They are on the deck playing hockey.

Maybe I'll have some peace tonight...

[LostPhil]

I forgive you.

Unfortunatly wifey your the wrong wifey.

Yes I hate myself for reacting to her with physical violence, or returning physical violence.

I hate myself for constantly calling her the B word because that is how I dealt with her verbal abuse.

I hate myself for enabling the woman. I should of empowered her, and I thought I was with this house. Plenty of woman would kill to live in this house.

I hate myself for buidling this and giving into everyone of her little whims trying to make her happy.

[AmyC]

Do you think you could maybe be grateful to God for revealing the errors of your ways to you and giving you this opportunity to turn it all around? Some people die in the pit, Phil. And never have this chance.

God
Wife
Phil
Kids
Others

That is proper - although it gets easily skewed, I know.

It's something we can all strive for nevertheless.

Because we're breathing and we're learning Phil.

And in that lies hope.

[LostPhil]

AmyC,

I used to always say

God,
Family,
Then Guns...

In that order.

Funny thing is I had this discussion with someone about losing your wife or losing your life. Guys usually say wife. Wife usually says kids.

I also put my wife in front of the kids. But not right now...

[LostPhil]

Well I have my son tonight. We had such a good night just him and I.

You know the wife is just so bizarre. I called her at work at 6:15 kids are hungry. She was suppose to be off at 6 and we agreed that she would pick them up after work. Well I said you know daughter is going to want to be with you. Son will want to stay with me. I tell her the same thing on the phone. She says ok, I'm leaving soon.

When she gets here. D gives her five dollars because she wants to go to subway. But she doesn't want to take my money. I said it is for D's sub.

Son wants to go to subway, but he wants me to take him.

Then she keeps asking him to hurry up and get in the car, she has ice cream and it is going to melt. He says I'm staying with daddy. She gets pissed and leaves. I told her twice on the phone in two different times that he was going to stay with me. 15 minutes before she came I told her again, that he wanted to stay with me. I'm thinking Manic, MLC, weirdo!

Son and I decide to go to our favorite pizza resturant, and we can hit the thirt store. Pizza shop has free wifi. He played pirates of the caribean online.

Found a few nice rum jugs for the pirate room, and I found a really nice owl statue. I told the girl at the counter about my owl. She said, cool maybe they will make out. My son knew what that was. She was a cool lady, said I'm sorry I didn't know he would know. Son tells me he learned that one Drake and Josh. THANKS NICKELODEON!

After eating we were going to go to bowling but then he had crocks on, no socks. I said lets go hit some gold balls. On the way there lightning. Another change of plans. He says he wants to go to petsmart. I said you mean the (name of township )ZOO!

I ask the girl if they had any monkeys. She said No, and looked at me rather perplexed. I said this (name of township) Zoo stinks.

So over at the fish area. I ask the girl if they have any monkey fish. She says no, I do not believe we have ever had them. All serious. Do they exist? She says I don't know. Some people have no sense of humor....

I tell her I'm looking for something non filtered. Don't say beta. I'm an alpha male.

What about crabs? They need filters, unless its hermit. I don't want a hermit. I like the baby crabs. What do they eat. Little crab pellets. I said, funny do we eat little people pellets.

Ok, what about tutles. Need a filter. The land ones don't smoke pall mall.

Ok, give me a dang beta... Son pick out a beta. The woman ask if I need food. Hands me the flakes. I said I want little beta pellets. Flakes cloud the water and then the fish needs glasses, I don't have medical insurance for the fish.

Boy I had her cracking up.

Girl at the counter, I get her good. I said the girl told me that the fish has a RFID tag in it and you can scan him. She tries it. I'm laughing. She say, OH I thought you meant there was a bar code on the container. Then another girl comes over and rattles off the beta code. I said wow you are genious remembering so a long number. Any man that gets you is going to be lucky. She laughs. She was a young girl. Then she goes to the door. They were closing. Manager comes over and says. Are you manning the door. I said I think she is womanning it. She laughed.

On the way home. Wife calls. I answer. I think the agreement call before bed is working. She says Can I talk to son. I said you sure can. Put him on the phone. I can over her what she is saying and is manipulating him to stay with her tonight. Making him feel bad and making him choose. Sucks though that wife doesn't even want to say anything to me at all. Can I talk to son? That is it.

I ask to talk to D. Talk to D. She tells me mommy is just laying in bed being a bum. She said she is trying to convince her to come to living room and watch tv.

I said I'm sorry honey, do you want some pizza I will drop it off to you. She says no. Even though she is a little mad that we went with our her. I said well it happened at the last second, we were going to go to subway, but didn't. There is plenty and I can drop it off. No thanks she says. I said ok, well you can eat it tomorrow. I also have a good plan for you tomorrow. To go to a play house at Grandma's church. They have a center she rave's about. But you know I just can't stand what I call Christian chaos at her building.

Well it is Methodist based, and Jown Wesley was amiable to the Catholic Church. It is evangelical, but I don't think they are rooted in Wesley formula. No consistancy.

Son is still with me, looks like he is staying the night.

Thank you Jesus. I keep hearing the harp.

[LostPhil]

Would somebody please hit me over the head and knock me out.

She called wanted son to come be with her until she went to work. He says he doesn't want too. We had some nice texting earlier in the morning about son and daughter. During this phone call we have some small talk about cousin. How it didn't work out, but I did most of the talking. She wants me to bring son down to spend time with him before work, but he doesn't want too. I said why don't you come here before work and hang out. I will even leave. She says I didn't even take a shower yet. Well I don't know what to tell you. What I really want to say is you have poor time management skills. Then I ask if she would like to talk to son, and she says yes. I said ok, I love you. Nothing. I said, OK I LOVE YOU. She says I don't know why you do.

She talks to son for about 30 seconds.

I text her. I already told you why, do you want me to tell you again. Nothing...

I'm just never going to learn.

She shows up with daughter at 3:50. Stays for five minutes. I am reading Treasure Island and son is playing with the mega blocks pirate sets. I'm sitting in front of the picture window on a rocker, reading. I notice her pull up, but I do not look.

I left a mini rose in the door. I put it in the key hole. Daughter says why is there a flower in the keyhole. I said it is for mommy from your brother.

She comes and says thanks son. Kisses and hugs him. I just continue to read. She says hello. I look up and say hello back, then continue reading. She sits in the other rocker. Makes a complaint about it. I still read.

I also love how she kept her nasty shoes on. Nasty work shoes from the ice cream shop. I just spent 3 hours today cleaning this whole house. I although do not say anything about it.

She asks what we are going to do today. I said I'm not really sure yet. My mom went to the lake, and we were suppose to go to her church. They built a big family center and have lots of activities for the kids. She has been asking me to go for over a year, but I don't go to church. I go to Church. I call her place a building, and I have been there before the center was built. To me it is a bunch of Christian chaos.

I don't move. She comes close to me. I don't get up. It seems like she wants me to chase her, but I'm not. Seems like she wanted me to get up to hug me or something. I'm not falling for it.

She wants me she can come to me. She should already know I want her. I tell her enough.

Maybe it is time to stop the physical affection from my initiation and no more I love you's.

I'm not 100% sure it is the right thing to do, but I can't take not hearing it back or hearing why?

I feel good. I'm not down.

I also have another prospect going. A girl I know is a little down and out. She might roomy with me. Now this maybe the dumbest thing I ever do. The girl is a knock out. I already told her I'm not interested in her. I only want my wife to come home. She is reluctant because she doesn't want my wife freaking out, which could happen.

It might just be enough of a message to tell her back. You don't want me, I don't want you.

Then again it could go the other way. Well how could you love me if you let another woman move in.

Thing is I'm not pursuing it. I think I could have the other woman if I pursued it correctly.

I'm still married. I shouldn't even be thinking of this scandelous operation.

Maybe do nothing is better. Keep going with the flow. Keep the ship sailing. Only worry about the current crew, and do not take another problem on. 15 men on a dead's men chest. Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum.

[*KS*Chick*]

good job - you've heard it a few times. DO stop with the ILY's and the physical contact. (AND the flowers).

DON'T tell her she has poor time management skills.

Pretend she's an acquaintence (because really right now she is). What would you tell them?

And if you would still say this - reconsider. Sometimes you come off as arrogant...which isn't attractive.

DON'T let the girl move in. Bad move all around.

Spend time with your kids, take time for you.