Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 5 of 12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 11 12
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 4,715
L
Member
Offline
Member
L
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 4,715
(((Julia)))

I think sometimes we just need to be sad. You are not stumping, you just have to be ready to do it. I hope you never have to get that far, but if you do, you will be ready. I understand your feeling, I get angry too because all we do is love this person and they are just too blind to see what we would do for them. That is where taking a step outside of the sitch helps. I looked at my sitch as if I were looking at it happening to a friend, and realized that my H is really being a pain. He is doing the same, blowing me off, not talking to me, and I realized as much as I love him, I don't have to deal with that.

We all deserve to be happy, but I think happiness comes from within. Sometimes you just have to look inside yourself and find out what makes you happy, and go with it!!


Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..

Joined: May 2008
Posts: 3,326
J
JCJ Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
J
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 3,326
Thanks Lola, that has really given me comfort.

Just got a text from my h. It was a nice text but hasn't really made me feel better so maybe my sadness isn't stemming from him. Maybe I am just feeling generally down today, I am very tired. It said

'Hi sorry I didn't answer your email, we are moving offices at the moment so this week's been manic! Not to worry about this weekend, I hope you have a nice time. Maybe coffee next week sometime? I you're ok and Maple is alright too.'

That is the nicest text I have had in a while and no full stop after the 'Hi' which is also a lot friendlier. I am really to tired to rely on myself for answering. Does anyone have any suggestions?

Sorry for being a bit pathetic tonight, the more I am typing the more I am realising it is tiredness.


M- May 2006
D - Aug 2010
Now travelling the world
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 567
I
Member
Offline
Member
I
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 567
Julia,

I think this is going to be a struggle until you can sit down with him and figure out a solution. If I were you, I would figure out how to separate your finances so you don't have to go through this anymore.

For example, you could both set up an account into which a set portion of his paycheck and yours is automatically deposited (which should be same day, not 4-5 days--you're right, that's BS), enough to cover your shared expenses (mortgage, taxes, etc.). Here they call it direct deposit, not sure what it's called there. You can even set up automatic bill pay from this account, so you don't even have to worry about that. Then each of you agree not to touch it.

Then you each have separate accounts for your personal expenses in which the rest of your paychecks are deposited.

Originally Posted By: Continuing
Humans are meaning-making creatures and we alone can decide what meaning to attach to ourselves.


Love this! \:\)


It is in the shelter of each other that people live.--Irish proverb

Current
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 4,715
L
Member
Offline
Member
L
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 4,715
It probably is just you being tired. It is not pathetic, we have all had moments just like the ones you are going through right now, where we don't know what to do, and wonder if the pain is ever going to subside.


Do something for yourself, even if it is just a bubble bath. Relax, take a deep breath, and get some rest. If you don't take care of you, you can't take care of anyone else.


Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..

Joined: May 2008
Posts: 1,068
P
Member
Offline
Member
P
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 1,068
(((julia))) yes- take care of yourself right now....i think you know yourself pretty well and it soundslike you are just having a rought tiem right now...he sent you a nice text bc you have been nothing but nice to him \:\) there are lots of positives- be his girlfriend....

did Jody say anything about the $$?


Pisces
M 31 H 32
M 7 yrs
S 5/10
Beginning
Contact!
Vibes
Hot Tub
Cheese
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 3,326
J
JCJ Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
J
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 3,326
Not really, she said to keep it really brief and not to go in there as if I already know the answers. I'm not really quite sure how I should play it really. I suppose it is just starting off the conversation that will be the hard part, and then trying to keep my mouth shut and not control. On the plus side I have a new hot dress I can wear so hopefully that will give me some confidence!

Quote:
he sent you a nice text bc you have been nothing but nice to him

Thanks Pisces \:\)


M- May 2006
D - Aug 2010
Now travelling the world
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 3,326
J
JCJ Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
J
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 3,326
That's true Lola, you are right. I have just had a really nice bubble bath and feel a bit better. I've had finance stuff at work all week too that has been really frustrating. Luckily my Chairman came round today for a meeting (it is really hard to get hold of him as he is elusive too) and we sorted out lits of work things so that is a weight off my mind too.


M- May 2006
D - Aug 2010
Now travelling the world
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 1,068
P
Member
Offline
Member
P
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 1,068
i love bubble baths- refreshing and relaxing \:\)
have a good night- tomrrow is a new day!


Pisces
M 31 H 32
M 7 yrs
S 5/10
Beginning
Contact!
Vibes
Hot Tub
Cheese
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 3,337
O
Member
Offline
Member
O
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 3,337
Hi Julia,

Great news on the hot dress and the text. That's a good baby step, right?

Oh, and the hot new dress sounds brilliant!!

L. xx

Joined: May 2008
Posts: 4,715
L
Member
Offline
Member
L
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 4,715
I am glad the bubble bath worked. NOthing like soothing bubbles and aromatherapy!!!


Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..

Page 5 of 12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 11 12

Moderated by  Cadet, DnJ, job, Michele Weiner-Davis 

Link Copied to Clipboard