Yes Ian I'm aware of the difference. I would love for her to come to me and ask those questions.
Gosh I'm starting to have some flashbacks in memory. There were many times my wife would hold my hand and ask me if I love her to the point of tears. I would always say yes. She would ask if I was cheating on her. I would always tell her no, because I was not. Would not, and never will. Not in sepearation, and not in divorce. She will always be my wife.
Yes, I have to start thinking the marriage is over to help me detach. I can't get anxious in her presence.
On the contrary Phil, Catholic history is Jewish history.....
and.....
You don't need a jewish friend to go to temple if it is a reformed temple.......
There's great knowledge and learning in all religions Phil. Job, is good for absolutely anyone to read wouldn't you say. After all it is the core learning of true faith.
The word "is" is the plural of be. The word "be" means to equal in meaning. Therefore Catholic history = Jewish history. Jewish history=Catholic history.
Jewish history is Catholic history or Catholic history is Jewish history.
Pretty much saying J=C or C=J.
Anyway: I just get more venom from her. Son calls me, and I talk to D. I tell them I found a really cool treasure chest box at the thrift store. To keep the playstation in and games in. Then I talk to her and work out mini schedule. Amazing. I end the conversation. She calls back in five minutes. My son wants to stay with me tonight because cousins kid is staying. I said well I'm running out right now. I call him later if they are staying and pick him up. Venom. I said please if you are going to use that language then I'm not going to talk to you.
I run my errands. Found a sweet pirate toy mega blocks at thrift store. Five bucks. Kids are going to love it.
I call son, she answers. I don't even want to ask her anything since things were mostly positive. I said does he want me to pick him up. She starts on me. How much is our cousin paying you a month. I said that is really none of your business. She says yes it is my business since you don't give me anything and if he staying there for free sleeping in our sons bed then you are taking away from the kids. I said no I gave you 5k. You haven't asked me what you want for money, because you don't talk to me. The beds, I told you I would pay for the beds. Did you give me a receipt for them. Vulgarity, venom and everything else. I'm not going to fight with you. Please just ask him if he wants me to pick him up. She screams for him. She burps in my ear. He gets on the phone. You want to stay over? He says yes. I said be there is maverick supersonic 30 seconds.
I pick him up. Wife is screaming at them in the house. I call because the couldn't hear me knock. Now D wants to go with me too. I said really wife I didn't expect to have them both. It's nine now. I have homework and I'm exhausted. What time do you want D back. She says I don't know. Venom. You only had those kids for 12 hours last week. I said wife well that is because I'm leaving you alone. You don't want a schedule and your work schedule has been dictating when I have them. I leave you alone. I told them kids to call me anytime and I would pick them up. So please just knock it off. I'm not fighting with you. Then she says watch them they are walking away. They are on the sidewalk. I said I don't want a late night with daughter tonight.
Gosh her house is a wreck. Grass hasn't been cut in weeks. I hope she likes that. But she would always complain that our house was a dump, and if something was out of place she would be flipping.
Well lets see what she wants to pull tonight.
One it doesn't make me feel better that D is here. It would make me feel better if I know one of the kids was with her.
Well maybe she finally got hit with a bolt of lightning. She calls at 10 and is coming to pick up D. Asks what they are doing. I said I just got them bathed come at 10:30. They are playing with the Pirate mega blocks and love it. I said if you want to come and hang out you are welcome.
She does. She hung out with us and acted like a normal person. Talked about her ticket experience. She already mailed it in and plead guilty. Said she was getting three points. I said well you never talk to me I might have got it fixed. Then she acts concerned and says I wonder how much that is going to make our insurance go up. It may do nothing. First offense ever.
Then she hung out and talked with me and cousin.
I was able to nip things in the bud and handling her well. The only bad thing I did was when I carried D out to car. I asked her to roll down her window and I kissed her cheek. It was like she was running out of the house to trying to get in the car because she wanted no contact.
Hopefully she is seeing the changes how I interact with her and the kids. She is realizing I'm not her enemy.
Did she come down from the mother ship? She seemed so normal hanging out with us and being with all the kids.
You weren't angry and confrontational and she was able to relax. You did good. She was normal and so were you. You were the man she can remember loving, not the angry spiteful one. This is what will make the difference.
I'm proud of you.
Me 45, H 46, S 23, M 26, Together 30, Bomb 6-2-08, S 6-19-08; H left 12-29-08. H home 12-09, Still MLC in 2012! Me- I have my big girl panties on. Bring it.
No really I'm not the angry and confrontational one. I have been the calm one. I wasn't calm the other night because she showed up unannounced and I reacted to her. She started as soon as she got there. I politely asked her to leave. She wouldn't and just kept running her mouth. I kept politely asking her to leave. Then she just said something and the build caused me to lash out again. She said I hope someone beats you up like you beat me up. Then she peeled out of the driveway.
Well let me say it was nice this morning. I dropped off son. She looked so tired. I know myself I only got about four hours of sleep, but for some reason I feel energized. I gave her a hug, and kissed her cheek. I didn't try to hold her too long. I also told her I loved you, but said it in such a way that is was directed at son and her. She didn't say it back.
Why because I'm a stupid DAM.
I also told her last night. I said you don't talk to me about anything. I most likely could have got the ticket fixed. She is getting three points.
I even got some good validation about the kids. Since I'm discipling them the proper way. I said at 11. D is tired take her home. She says oh those kids stay up till midnight, 1 or 2 just like they did last summer. I said that is because you let them. I used to scream from my room to ask you guys to keep it down in the evening while I was trying to study.
Kelly I don't know if anything will make the difference. She is either really bi-polar or has some other mental condition. I think it really is a mid life crisis.
I walked away and she said good bye.
I'm kind of laughing to myslef because the yard is a mess. Grass is over a foot high and weeds everywhere. I always keep my yard looking like a golf course. But then she comes to my house an tells me how messy everything is. She also said last night that I have too much clutter in the pirate room. I said it's a pirate ship. Pirates have clutter. Well you shouldn't have five things on the table. Whatever, the spoils from pirating go on the ship. There is very little storage. Well I don't even understand how you can dust. That jar needs something in it. Yes, I was going to put something in the apathy jar. I think I might put a beta in it. Why is she so concerned with my decorating skills. I have good taste.
Do not react to her. She is baiting you if she gets nasty. Walk away without telling her to leave next time. Just be done with the conversation.
Be the one that won't be baited. I know it is very hard. Harder probably than anything you've had to do. Don't argue on the phone, just tell her I have to go now. I'll talk to you when you are calm. Click. Hang up.
If she calls back answer. Still not calm? I have to go now. Click. Keep doing it. Be consistent.
Do this for you. Prove to yourself that you don't need to answer her tit for tat.
Me 45, H 46, S 23, M 26, Together 30, Bomb 6-2-08, S 6-19-08; H left 12-29-08. H home 12-09, Still MLC in 2012! Me- I have my big girl panties on. Bring it.
