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LostPhil #1535675 07/28/08 06:17 PM
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If the woman is doing what she wants. Why does she still come back to inflict pain on me.


I don't know.

Phil, stop texting or reaching out to her. Stop initiating.

Be firm about your children. "I want to say goodnight to them, you have them call me. I will do the same for you."

It is only impossible if you make it impossible.

Last edited by Jack_Three_Beans; 07/28/08 06:17 PM.


Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis

Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans

Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK

TRUST THE PROCESS - Cadet

LostPhil #1535676 07/28/08 06:17 PM
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PHIL,

You can ignore me if you want, but I am trying to help you. Your anger and nastiness does not show love. Hello, Phil, am I getting through?


Me 45, H 46, S 23, M 26, Together 30, Bomb 6-2-08,
S 6-19-08; H left 12-29-08. H home 12-09, Still MLC in 2012!
Me- I have my big girl panties on. Bring it.

LostPhil #1535694 07/28/08 06:26 PM
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Perverse pleasure Jack. What else is the woman going to throw at me? When is she going to try and stop proving that I don't love her? I will always love her. Nothing she can do will make me stop loving her.



Phil, for crying out loud man stop the insanity. NO texts.

You are like a dude who has been beaten laying on the ground asking for the guy who pummoled him to hit him again.

Your wife doesn't need to hear that stuff right now. You don't have to keep saying it. In fact, you have to stop it. Do you not get that she is turned off to your comments right now. You are self defeating at it's fines right now.

Going dark without kids is not impossible, many of us have done it to some degree. With kids it simply means you cannot just shut it all off. IMHO, going dark for you means, no texting at all. Having the kids call you not you calling her phone to speak to them. You having her drop the kids off and not come in the house. You Not talking to her family about this at all. It's not impossible Phil, you just have to figure out the way to do it.


Sometime or another Phil you are going to have to take an as if approach to all this and act as if your marriage is over for now. You are going to have to stop playing the game.

Ian


M- 48
XW- mentally 17
KIDS- 3- S19, D23, D28
Married- 17 years
Divorce final- 10/16/09

The Wifey #1535699 07/28/08 06:28 PM
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Jack, Yes I will try that again. I have said it a bunch of times. "I want to say goodnight to them, you have them call me. I will do the same for you."

I also tell the kids to call me at night. I talk to them during the day. I say call me later tonight. They never do.

LostPhil #1535707 07/28/08 06:36 PM
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I say call me later tonight. They never do.


They are kids. Mine remember that they were supposed to put away the dishes 20 minutes after they have gone to bed.



Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis

Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans

Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK

TRUST THE PROCESS - Cadet

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going back to re-read the past few posts but wanted to hit on this before I lose the thought ;\)

You said you think there's another man.
Because of her actions.



I can tell you that I was separated from the ex, sometimes just to tick him off, or make him wonder - I would do those things I know irritated him. Wear heels. Make up.



Could be she is trying to get your goat.

And she does.


....Understand, that I can't, not be what I am
I'm not the milk, and Cheerios in your spoon
~ Avril Lavigne ~
..."Nobody's Fool"...

me=ok /D'd since 7/07
D=ok
LostPhil #1535718 07/28/08 06:43 PM
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Ian, part of me thinks she isn't turned off by it.

Why do you love me? Why do you miss me?

I am the romantic one. I always have been. My cousin was saying that last night. He said that his wife would comment at how good my taste was and how romantic I was with my wife. In the dating stage she got flowers at least twice a week, cards, gifts, etc... His wife was jealous at how romantic I was and he didn't do that for her. Good taste. Many people say I have good taste. It why I choose to be with my wife, she was so attractive. Those two girl cousins talked everyday. She cheated. My wife stopped talking to her and became friends with the husband.

My wife and him never got along. Now it is kind of sick. It burned me up when she came in the house and went to him. To see how he was. Snapped his rubber band on his wrist. That killed me.

You know she isn't looking too attractive right now. When she comes in the house she always belches. Her face is still breaking out like a teen. She changed her makeup. She went from a soft glowing look to a look like a vampire b|tch or something. Real heavy dark eyeliner all thick.

I seen her the other day without any makeup. I said there is the face I love. She still has youthlike figor. She doesn't need all the makeup. Yes, when she wore makeup she was attractive. I always thought she was more attractive without it.

Now I'm saying I don't want her to wear makeup. I'm just saying she really doesn't need it. I think woman feel the need to wear wakeup. Some of them do need to wear it.

I think the saying goes when you get older it is better to use less makeup not more. Less is better.

I think she is wearing the eyeliner all dark and heavy because she thinks she is covering up wrinkles. Well when you hit thirty your bound to get a little wrinkles. She thinks she needs botox. She doesn't need anything. She is too concerned with her vanity always has been. She takes two to three hours to get ready for something and complains the entire time that she looks like crap. Nothing I said would change it. She is one of those 45 minute lip woman.

LostPhil #1535732 07/28/08 06:49 PM
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wear heals


OMG!, she knows how crazy I get when she wears heels. I'm a shoe guy. I told you about that story about the shoes when we were dating. I was loving that. Watching her try on all those shoes. That is my weakness. Woman in high heels.

The point of my story about the shoes was to show how indecisive she was. How indecisive she is now. How much of a pain the butt she could be. I would be a puppy dog. But come one she says she never felt like I loved her.

If she asked me to take her shoe shopping today, and I got to watch her model all those shoes. I would do it in a second.

Quote:
Could be she is trying to get your goat.


Could be she is. She knows what she is doing. She knows what I like. She knows it is driving me crazy, and I can't even touch her. She did it in WAW home stage. Walked around naked, half naked, in little skimpies. Flash me on purpose.

LostPhil #1535734 07/28/08 06:49 PM
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Why do you love me? Why do you miss me?



Ahhh but Phil, there is a difference in her asking these out of the blue and her asking because you either said them or texted them.


Ian


M- 48
XW- mentally 17
KIDS- 3- S19, D23, D28
Married- 17 years
Divorce final- 10/16/09

LostPhil #1535745 07/28/08 06:56 PM
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Jack,

I think you are right. The kids don't think about it. By the time it gets late they already forgot and fell asleep.

During WAW home stage. I really ramped up praying with them when they went to bed. Plus D was making her holy communion soon she needed to practice.

Brings me to another issue. The kids didn't go to Church on Sunday. Because she picked them up at 20 to 1 the night before.
Now D is suppose to be reminded of the moral obligation to go to Church because she received the sacrament of Holy Communion.

We Catholic believe it is a moral obligation to attend Church on Sundays and Holy days of obligation. Only sickness, care of a child, and work issues are permissable for missing. Yes we have CE Catholics, but they are not really Catholic.

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