Why are you still up? You should be sound asleep with thoughts of your lovely W dancing in your head. So are you sort of dating now or how does all of this work? BTW I would never had made you hunt for me.
We have been taking SD swimming most nights, some evenings we have eaten supper together, most times we have just been talking, getting re-acquainted, going over what has been going with each other since we separated. We haven't gone on an actual date with just the two of us yet, that will probably be this weekend.
We have decided we don't like referring to the places we live as "your place" and "my place". So now the house I live in is the "Villa", and hers is the "Cottage".
Me45 W35 M6 T8 D16 SD11 D0 Dec 07: Bomb July 08: Busted! Thread
We have decided we don't like referring to the places we live as "your place" and "my place". So now the house I live in is the "Villa", and hers is the "Cottage".
I love that! Congratulations on your "move" to Piecing! I am so happy for your good news and that you are doing so great!!! Now I'm off to bed. I was going to say something flirty but better not--I don't want your W to get mad at me!!! Karen
Speaking of mad, W is getting angry at OM's harrassment. "He needs to understand that I'm a married woman. And the more I think about it, I get mad at him for trying to break up my M. What kind of guy does that?" I reminded her I said as much to her several times during our S. She smiled a bit and said in her best Emily Litella voice - "Oh... yea... never mind"
It really was a fog, and I don't think I'll ever understand how it works so powerfully. I wish I knew how to throw the switch, but I guess she had to find it and switch it off herself. But I get more confident about her honesty and resolve each day. She was a little disappointed when I told her a part of me still harbors doubts, but that she understood why I would feel that way. We just need to work so that our best intentions are translated into life-long changes.
Me45 W35 M6 T8 D16 SD11 D0 Dec 07: Bomb July 08: Busted! Thread
Speaking of mad, W is getting angry at OM's harrassment. "He needs to understand that I'm a married woman. And the more I think about it, I get mad at him for trying to break up my M. What kind of guy does that?"
I don't understand this. Is she justifying walking by blaming the OM?
Quote:
It really was a fog, and I don't think I'll ever understand how it works so powerfully
G-would you mind reporting any observations you come across?? I mean, your in unique position I think. With what she said above it confuses me. Does she take any responsibility at all. I know she has apologized for some ot it..
It really confuses me. You use a light switch analogy..is it truly that, she was just gone and then she came back??
I was checking my other friends here in piecing and who do I see? Gforce? Man!! you realy went through the last few forums fast, didn't you? You have come a long way baby!! I am thrilled for you. K
Btw, I have 4 friends now in piecing, let's keep the number going up guys!!!
Breakfast is served on my thread. I love the "villa" and "cottage" references. It is sweet and allows you guys to act as if even better--its like having a regular home and a vacation home!
I get your analogy about the switch. Question, though. What about the times that they partially drift out of the fog? What is happening then? A power failure that sucks them back in?
SMW
M40/H36 T16/M14 4K B2/08 S4/08 current
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. I Corinthians 13:7
I get your analogy about the switch. Question, though. What about the times that they partially drift out of the fog? What is happening then? A power failure that sucks them back in?
That's the reson for my post above. I'm trying to understand. I'm probably DAM'ing again..trying to use logic and common sense..trying to figure them out..
I get your analogy about the switch. Question, though. What about the times that they partially drift out of the fog? What is happening then? A power failure that sucks them back in?
That's the reson for my post above. I'm trying to understand. I'm probably DAM'ing again..trying to use logic and common sense..trying to figure them out..
Yep, that's DAM alright.
Alright, but I am not a DAM and I do not get it either, so no, not a DAM thing. I gues a LBS thing.
SMW
M40/H36 T16/M14 4K B2/08 S4/08 current
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. I Corinthians 13:7
OK, I really don't have much insight on the mind of the WAS, but these are my thoughts.
First of all, W does take responsibility for her actions. She does not try to use OM as an excuse or to justify her actions. The point I was trying to make was that now that the fog has lifted, she sees him as he really is.
The "light switch" analogy is from my perspective, not from hers. It was sudden to me, but she talks about a lot of conflict over a very long period of time. Those episodes she had when she showed some of that confusion to me were when it briefly became visible.
But I have no idea how to tell a WAS is feeling that way, versus just intermittent guilt in a WAS who is still certain they want to D. But I guess that's why you continue to DB, keep DBing, and DB some more, and be patient until you really really run out of gas, because you can't really ever tell for sure what's going on inside them, or when things might change.
It doesn't mean you don't reach a point when you say enough is enough, because you don't want to be in limbo forever in a hopeless situation. But if you still have something in you that wants to keep trying, then keep trying. I got lucky, because I gave up -- and she woke up when I was not quite too far down that road not to consider returning. But almost.
Gotta get back to work...
Me45 W35 M6 T8 D16 SD11 D0 Dec 07: Bomb July 08: Busted! Thread
I get your analogy about the switch. Question, though. What about the times that they partially drift out of the fog? What is happening then? A power failure that sucks them back in?
That's the reson for my post above. I'm trying to understand. I'm probably DAM'ing again..trying to use logic and common sense..trying to figure them out..
Yep, that's DAM alright.
Alright, but I am not a DAM and I do not get it either, so no, not a DAM thing. I gues a LBS thing.
SMW
Yes, I agree but you as an LBS can think like a DAM..because you've watched us DAM all around you..LOL..you're really getting it from both sides at home and on this board, the only difference is the type DAM your dealing with WADAM Or LBDAM..hey did I just make two new Acronyms??
I am so happy for your good news and that you are doing so great!!! Now I'm off to bed. I was going to say something flirty but better not--I don't want your W to get mad at me!!!