OK, I think I see that your dog was not on a leash. But neither was the neighbor's dog. And yours was in your yard. And the other dog was also in your yard.
When I had problems with my neighbor in Louisiana, I was told that my dog could be on my property without a leash. But when he stepped across the property line either into the street or onto someone else's property, then I was in violation of the law.
Oh I don't know.... we had an armadillo stroll past us on his way to???
One of the first things we did when we bought our first home loooooong ago was to tear down the chain link fence that enclosed the property on the street side. We have a wooden one with a gap in it against the woods in back, but we just don't like fences.
They need a damn fence, not us. Our dog is not loose and unsupervised. H was right next to her when that dog came barreling across the yard--- wth good would it have done had she been on a leash or her tie out? I haven't seen either of their dogs since the incident.
I've been researching a bit, there is a story right now of two dogs on "death row" for killing a neighbors cat at NOLA.com. I'm going to write up some papers with copies of the statutes I've found, the vet bills (we still have to take her in on Monday for the stitches) and a legal form explaining that if we don't get reimbursed for the vet bills we will sue for bills, loss of work time for court and vet. visits, pain & suffering, and court costs. I have a funny feeling (they hid their cars when the police came over) that they don't want to go to court. If their dog(s) have prior reports they can be classified as vicious from what I understand. We'll have to pay a fine for our dog being unleashed, but in principle it may be worth it. A kid may be in their way next-- it could've been my H's arm had he seen it coming a few seconds earlier.
Oh well.
Another weekend! Yay. I love weekends.
Something I didn't say: When he made corn fritters for breakfast and I wanted grits and eggs I kept my mouth shut and went on and on about the great corn fritters.
He's growing a "playoff beard" in honor of our team in the SCF and I've restrained myself from teasing him about the "touches of grey" poking through this time.
::eyeroll:: I know, this is getting really boring. I should probably join a Neighbor-Busting website as if it weren't for the senile old lady next door breaking the limbs on our tree, pulling up a bush and turning our flag upside down and getting a stash of our things in her home, there wouldn't be much drama around here at all.
Oh, we did "DB" the lady who owned the mercedes with the bumper that S16 hit last week. The kids all said that it merely had a scuff on it and didn't file an accident report. Which is really, really good for S16 because he only has that intermediate license and can't have any accidents...but... lady called up a few hours later with that one-too-many-martini voice and you'd have thunk it was totalled. We did NOT minimize, trivialize, in any way insinuate that her daughter stopped really fast with no warning on wet pavement in front of S16 because she almost missed the turn into Times Grill parking lot... nope, we just validated (the horrible damage to her bumper) and reassured her that he was responsible for following too close for the road conditions and inexperience (locked up the brakes instead of tapping them) and that of course we'd pay for the new bumper. S16 spoke with her later and is working on a plan to pay off the cost himself with payments. We think. Sooo, no insurance rate hike or problems getting full license for S16 when he turns 17 this summer!
We've had no further tm's from xow since the message back to her telling her not to send messages to our phone again. No hang ups or mysterious "private caller" incidents. I no longer do a search on every single number on H's cell that I don't recognize, if I even happen to notice them (I don't actively snoop any longer but all three of us use all the phones).
I hope your dog is feeling better. Please don't forget to give my regards to Drs. Bill and Leslie. We all miss them. We have not been able to find a vet we're happy with here in Tampa. They spoiled us! I hope my daughter Niki will stop in and see them sometime. She is on the Northshore now.
I'm kinda sorta wondering how to explain how I "met you"......
Isn't it about time you came to visit Niki? LOL. Waaah. I want to meet a friend for coffee.
Macy's better--- trying to keep her quiet enough to heal up.
In a strange coincidence, we had a "private caller" siting the same night I posted last. Hmmm, I have posted so much identifying info... has anyone ever had someone find their sitch on this site that knows them?
We just decided we were in too good a mood to answer a call from someone who went to the trouble to hide their identity.
It really didn't even trigger this time. Time (with consistent marriage proofing behavior) works. The heat is making him so very cranky/moody when he gets home. I remember questioning every mood last summer... wondering if he wasn't happy. I was waiting for things to go back to *whatever it was that made him disrespect me enough to betray me*.
When he's working so hard and we still have money problems, I wonder if he feels he's doing it all for nothing again. He gets mad if I pay the "wrong" bill! I have to figure out how to deal with this issue in a way that we can resolve it without him just keeping his "resentment" inside. How do I get him to just not resent something so ridiculous? I could totally understand if I were out buying all the cute shoes and purses and hats I wish I had. But I don't. I don't spend "jack" on myself... even if it's cash sent from mom for a birthday present. We took a big loss this year. It's just going to be a while before we can keep some semblance of living the lifestyle we had without occasional struggle. This is a preview of what is going to happen this week because I see it coming. I know, no expectations. But. This happened a few weeks ago and it got really ugly before he agreed that he was insane. I have to figure out how to deal with this beforehand this time so things go better.
A few weeks ago I just knew he was steaming and ready to explode. I maybe should've just let him be. But I couldn't. I don't want harbored resentment building up. Maybe it won't? Go with the "AS If" and deflect everything until a "better time" and try to dialogue? I don't think I can get him to retrouvaille because he just won't write things down. Or read so much. Funny that never bothered me when I married him, but.... ugh.
I'm going to go put on a hoop skirt, sun bonnet, and sand the picnic table or something............be back later.
I think the truth is a good story. You were talking to someone on the internet who lives and Florida, and that person knew your vets, and couldn't stop saying nice things about them. I think they have something for you. It's a nice compliment to them.
My husband and I have the same bills problem. I thought it would get better after leaving Louisiana, because he makes more in Florida. But I had no idea how much more expensive life can be in another state! Now I miss my low mortgage and low taxes and no water bill (part of the Beau Chene fee). My husband has felt better about our situation, and been a little more workable, when I've expressed concern about the money. But bottom line, I keep having to ask him to transfer more money into checking, and he doesn't want to. And of course, I spend all the money because I pay the mortgage, the car note, the electric bill, the insurance, etc. So anyone can see that I am wasteful. But he gets his Starbucks every morning and eats lunch in restaurants every day, while I make my coffee and have yogurt and cereal for lunch.
We will have to meet when I go to New Orleans next. But it will be a while, because my daughter will be coming here for the next visit. Probably will not be until she finds an apartment in August. I'd feel funny visiting her while she is living at her friend's parents' house. Miss those beignets!
Soo, I was going to write up some comment about trying to "borrow trouble" as my h hadn't said a word about my creative money managing this week.
But nooooooooo. That would've been premature. See, I went with acting "AS IF". As if everything was fine. I'm new to the constraints on the budget of late and I screwed up with a purchase at a bad time. I thought about telling him up front, which would've actually allowed him to adjust his spending habits accordingly, but nope, didn't want to rock the boat.
Well, yes I know it was wrong. Conflict avoidance at it's finest. However, it did give me time to actually look at my behavior instead of focusing on the horrible way he handles it. I decided to spend my time thinking of how to have this conversation (because as much as I protest, this might happen again) in a more constructive manner.
Or at least one in which I don't get yelled at.
It would've gone better had I had this conversation this morning while I was helping him at work. Instead, I thought, it's Friday. We made it to payday. Maybe he won't look at the balance before he has a bunch of cash in his hand and that Friday-after-a-crazy-week-but-it's-over feeling goin' on.
I came home, poured a cup of coffee, sat down to log in and see how all my peeps are doin' when I get a phone call from H.
H: "Honey, did you open that statement from the bank that was in yesterday's mail yet?
M: "No... I must have been distracted.
H: "OH. I think there must've been new cards from the new branch that took over because mine isn't working right."
M: "Not working?"[pause] "Hang on. Let me get the statement out."
M: "Um, I really feel bad because I miscalculated and made those purchases for XXXX that cost XXXXX and I thought there was XXXX in the bank but forgot about XXXXX. I made a mistake and I'm sorry.
H: Silence. "Well isn't that just life." (frustrated/mad) M: "I'm sorry." H: "Talk to you later." (mad) H: Click
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So, the old me would've found a way to excuse my behavior by showing him how much money I saved him by making that particular purchase at that particular time. The old me would have the receipt for that 37" HD Flatscreen he decided we needed for the bedroom, right before Christmas, in my hand. That's just for starters. I never fought fair.
I don't know about 'work', but I imagine you feel good about handling things better this time. I recently read a quote "The only mistake you make is the one you don't learn from" - you're obviously learning, so these are opportunities to do things better, not screw ups
How about an email, saying that you're sorry your purchase casued a problem for him and asking if you can do anything to help with that - what was he trying to buy, lunch or something frivolous?
The bigger discussion about overall money management should definitely wait until no one is mad.
Ok. It's been a weird week. More $$ challenges putting a damper on plans. Frustrating to be sure, but not one bad interaction with each other about it. I've learned how to listen. I've learned how to give him space instead of insisting he tell me what he's thinking and trying to problem-solve/ meaning FIX everything that is affecting his every precious mood. The guy must have felt like he was under a microscope at times. Duh, just because he's quiet and upset about ruined plans or money problems doesn't mean he's sorry he's with me.
Oh, and something else bothered me about my post back there. When I mentioned (haha reeeal funny) that I need to learn how to handle the money talks because it "just MIGHT happen again."
Well, that is a chicken $%^& way to think. If I can just work a little harder, this just might NOT happen again. AHA. That was bothering me so I had to get it out. I don't have to be perfect (I was struggling this week with that also), but if I'm not giving my best then I'm fooling myself more than him.
Anyway, that afternoon, about half an hour after I posted, he surprised me by stopping by the house with a chicken sandwich for me (yeah, I know, real romantic, lol) and asked me for a hug. I got a touch teary and tried to apologize again and just melted over the sandwich (which was actually greasy and yuk, but it was truly the thought that melted me). He quieted me and told me it wasn't my fault, he'd already worked out the stages of anger, sadness, etc., and everything would be fine.
The purchase was necessary, but I could've settled for less costly option. I actually don't regret my choice at all. I regret not telling him how much I spent even though he never asked. I regret not keeping better track of records and my timing. But heck, I was never mad that he bought that tv either. I just don't get that upset about temporary setbacks. We aren't in danger of losing anything or starving so I just shrug and figure it's a challenge to get creative for a while to get through it.
I wonder if he took me seriously that day I told him to skip all the stages and get to the part where he's sorry, I'm wonderful, time to make up? LOL. All I know is he was EXTRA sweet. Called me later in the day and said he missed me. Brought home treats after work (I have this thing for boiled crawfish and beer lately) and we had a great weekend finding ways to do stuff without spending money. We're kind of making a game out of it lately.
All week, I found a way to substitute all sorts of macguyverish things and ingredients so I wouldn't spend money. It was fun. He noticed without me saying a word and thanked me for the silliest things. Last night when a particular bad $$ blow hit him, he just let out the steam and vented, specifically saying it's not my fault, and I just listened to him. Didn't try to sugarcoat things, be the optimist, just listened.
Don't know if this is where to get you, D - hope so.
Thank you for dropping in on me. I'm so sorry that you are having to deal with another tough situation, and probably one that makes all the other stuff seem easy by comparison.
