Hmmm. Well I tried to be more loving with LL...to no avail...but I guess patience is required.
Also, I thought it was positive that he spoke to me for an entire hour! So I was thankful for that...and he was not ugly so that was a positive. Who knows what it all means...
I have decided to try to keep my mouth shut when he tries to bait me...which I believe he does...
Also, I need to focus on ME a lot more as well...I keep having dreams of LL and how he has moved on with different girls always and they are so stupid...guess that is just my sub-conscious coming out...I am focusing too much of my energy on HIM and what HE is doing or not doing or saying or not saying...
Think it is time to go back home and be in my own bed. Going home today...YAY!!!
Aug '06: H moved out July '08: H had a kid with the OW May 12 '09: emancipation day
"Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." -Ferris Bueller
Also, I thought it was positive that he spoke to me for an entire hour! So I was thankful for that...and he was not ugly so that was a positive. Who knows what it all means...
I have decided to try to keep my mouth shut when he tries to bait me...which I believe he does...
All this is so positive. You seem to try very hard to work at yourself. Good luck with it. And yes, patience is required!!!
I know how you feel about going home. I like to visit family and friends, but I also like to come home again and be in my own place and bed.
True, I know what you mean about coming home...and guess what? No bad dreams about LL! it was bliss!
I still have so much work to do on me...but I know that I will get to a place where I am really happy with myself...and how far I have come...so we'll see...
Hope you're doing well...
Hugs, Vali
Aug '06: H moved out July '08: H had a kid with the OW May 12 '09: emancipation day
"Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." -Ferris Bueller
He Cinders...hope things are okay in your neck of the woods!
I have a question for anyone and everyone: Do you ever notice if your MLCer comes when you are not at home and takes things that belong to him?
I ask because LL was at my house while I was away and took this cookie jar that belonged to him but that had been at the house the whole time and today I noticed it was gone. I did not ask him because I just don't really want to...
But does anyone else notice these things?
Spoke with LL again today...regarding some stuff at home and it was okay...he seemed okay to talk to with. thank God for small things!
Hope you peeps are doing okay...
Aug '06: H moved out July '08: H had a kid with the OW May 12 '09: emancipation day
"Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." -Ferris Bueller
To answer your question, my H stayed in the same house (guest room) from Sept. 6th until Feb.2nd, then he went to a friends house, I guess. Then after mediation in March he moved to Austin, TX with OW & quit his excellent job here in TN.
Yes, he would come in & take things while I was gone. It was things he didn't want me to see him taking out. But I was nosy & found them missing.
I take it you are not D'd?? I'm sorry I haven't had a chance to read your threads yet.
We don't have any kids either, just 2 dogs & I got custody.
nlt, no, I am not D'd...been separated for almost 2 years and been going through this for 3 years...seems like forever.
So he lives in Austin, huh? My hometown...was there convalescing after my surgery and only came back on Monday. I live in San Antonio now...What is in Austin that he needed to leave? Was the OW from Austin?
LL (Latin Luvah---my moniker for my H--LOL!) always slept in the same bed until he left even though we had a guest room too. He now lives in the batcave...an unknown location but not really as he lives down the street from one on my uncles. He doesn't know I know that and I dont visit that uncle. anyhow it is literally ACROSS town...no chance of running into him...guess that was his way to trying to erase everything that was familiar. Guilt, I would imagine.
He took things out initially and then on the sly---like is coat and stuff like that ...but he still has clothes here and stuff. This seems to be something he has taken in a a loooong time.
Recently he says we need to talk about stuff (which I am assuming is the Big D talk). I don't bring it up and this is the first time he has brought it up...we'll see what happens...
I had 2 bubbies but Samson died suddenly in June...and I have Petunia and she is lonely...eventually I will get another dog to be a companion to her...
Good for you to get custody! The bubbies are better off with you as a parent...and I don't have any kids either...
So are you D'd?
Good talking to you...
Vali
Aug '06: H moved out July '08: H had a kid with the OW May 12 '09: emancipation day
"Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." -Ferris Bueller
It's good talking to you also. Yes, we are D'd. He told me on Sept 6th he wanted D, he filed the next week. She had redone his resume on Sept.4th.
I don't believe the OW is originally from Austin, I know she lived in Hawaii with her last H & they made lots of money in real estate there. She tried real estate in Austin but has another job now that has nothing to do with real estate. I believe my H thinks she has money but in one of her earlier emails to my H she said she had been on vacation too long, 2 years & had to get back to work & make some money. So I have a feeling she spent it all. Nothing is in Austin for my H except her, he had never been there until he met her on that scuba diving trip.
We got another dog a few months after we lost our lab, my dog now missed the lab so bad that she became an old dog, after we got a puppy she played & played so that was good for her.
I sure hope your H does not want to talk about the big D! It is not a fun thing & I'm hoping my H doesn't hold all this legal mess against me. I got the house & alimony & he told me he wasn't giving me either. I had a good lawyer.
as for your song "The prodigal son comes home", I think that is a definite sign...I have heard that a lot of them really DO want to come home...whether they tell US or not. LL has told a few people that he wants to come back but I have never really seen that but I have been so angry that I have been blind to a lot of baby steps.
I dont know if it is too late, I really believe that it is never too late. However, I think I have focused too much on him and not enough on ME. I need to push myself to the maximum that I can be and that is a serious undertaking! If he wants to come back then---then it is my choice to let him in if he never comes back then I have still done something positive for myself.
I have recently had surgery and I am feeling better...it has been a load off of me!!!
I just keep praying and hoping...
You do the same...eventually I think that the 'shine' on the OW will tarnish...just wait and be patient...but don't put your life on hold...try becoming the best you...
Anyhow, I don't think your H will hold the divorce ruling against you...Good for you for getting alimony! We don't have that in Texas. If we do happen to move towards D...I will need an EXCELLENT lawyer as LL is a lawyer (although not in family law). He knows a lot of lawyers. I hope it doesn't come to that but if it does it does.
Good luck with your bubby...
Vali
Aug '06: H moved out July '08: H had a kid with the OW May 12 '09: emancipation day
"Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." -Ferris Bueller
Yes, it did happen really fast! I think he knew it was wrong for him to be seeing this OW & us still M so he wanted it over quickly & I have a feeling she was pushing him too.
I've been focusing on my H too much too. I'm trying to do more about me lately, but then there are those days I just can't get my mind off him, which is everyday but since I found that song I haven't been as depressed when I think about him. My birthday is coming up & he was gone on a trip in 2006, but was back the next day, he told me he hated being gone on my b'day & he would never been gone on my b'day again. Well, this year he will be gone.
I guess I keep hoping I will hear from him but I doubt I will. I'm not holding my breath.
WOW! I sure hope your sitch doesn't go toward D, you are going to need an EXCELLENT lawyer for sure with him knowing everyone & being a lawyer himself. One of my cousin's H left her for OW & he was a cop, she thought she was getting a good lawyer but he knew her H & didn't help her too much at all. If her dad had not been there to help her she wouldn't have gotten anything. I came out better in my sitch than she did in hers. I just hope my H doesn't hold that legal stuff against me. He does hold a grudge, he did with his first wife but he hated her. This OW he is with now I believe is worse than his first wife ever thought about being, I think she is more manipulative. He won't like that for sure!
I'm so glad your surgery went well. I haven't had to have that yet but I'm sure I will before long. I have had those hot flashes tho & they are terrible!!!
My bubby ate a little this morning so I'm going to see how she does the rest of the day. She acts like she feels good, we'll see.
I so enjoyed talking with you & I'm glad we have found each others threads.
