Well, the rest of yesterday was interesting. We made dinner (double baked potatoes and sauteed mushrooms with tons of garlic, garden salad), shared a bottle of wine and actually talked over dinner.
CJ was sharing some of his personality research for the course he's taking, we discussed the Personality Type thing, then I remembered another test I took called the NEO. This one is THE gold standard for personality tests and I took it last October.
It breaks you down on five key dimensions, with subscales rated out of 100. Examples of some of the subscales? Trust, Morality, Anxiety, Extraversion, Orderliness, etc.
Well we sat in the back after he took the test and compared scores. Must say, it explains a lot.
We BOTH have low activity level scores, ...my trust score was 83!!!(remember this was before I found out the truth about OW ), his was 55. Go figure!
As for Orderliness, I thought my score of 6 was pretty bad, but CJ scored.....ZERO!!!! This scale measures you tendencies towards organization, schedules, plans....we also both scored low on Dutifulness....sense of obligation.
I was a little taken aback to see that CJ also scored very low on achievment striving...setting goals, having direction in life and following through. (I scored a respectable 60 on that).
Then there is the Neuroticism scale.....I scored 95 for anxiety (pre-med remember!), and, gulp, 89 on Anger . My depression score was higher than CJ's as was my vulnerability score (93!).
Well I did have a point here..........things got a little heated while we were going over our results. At first it was kind of funny...we had a good laugh over our pitiful orderliness scores...but then I brought up some of the nagging "things" that CJ keeps promising to do and then not.
I asked him to please explain....and he did. He insists that it is not passive aggression, he just doesn't feel any urgency to do these things. He says he has tunnel vision and doesn't even notice the boxes and bags of weeds etc that have been marring our back yard for years.
Ditto for the income tax money...he now says we should have closer to $10,000 coming...but he just doesn't feel any urgency to get it done .
I tried to explain that it may not bother HIM, but these things DO bother ME. He pointed to the mass of make-up paraphenalia on our back table...says he never asks me to clean up....right...because it doesn't BOTHER HIM!!! (And interior surfaces DO get cleaned periodically). If it DID bother him, I'd do something about it!!!
So our deal is that if he doesn't get rid of the detritus in the yard in two weeks (it was two weeks ago that he stopped me from doing it myself)...I can do whatever it takes to clean it out...I'm sure I can hire someone to carry all that stuff away...I just wish CJ would see that these things matter to me!
Oh well. Either way, that crap is outta here!
Here's the cool part: although we were both a little heated there for a while...we swung the evening back around, played some tunes, danced in our living room and did comparison shots of Baha Rosa and Baha Luna...I'm leaning towards the Rosa myself!
Now here's the URL for that personality test (it's the "Big Five Personality Factors" for you psych buffs).
I'm not sure CJ could access it through this, but he managed to locate the test somehow last night.
Cool you turned things around! I think you and CJ have great communication now it seems. I am looking forward to the day David and I are there!! See positive thinking. I sure hope I stay there!
I am falling asleep at my computer tonight as a result of two nights of no sleep and last night moving all that furniture!
Just wanted to drop by.
Hope you have a great weekend! I have a date EARLY tomorrow morning he said!
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
Well it turned into one of those "what do you want to do?" kind of Friday nights that just got swallowed up with T.V. watching. At least it was funny stuff and we laughed a lot.
This morning CJ got up before me, but said he'd be back in about an hour. I heard him working on the computer, couldn't wait, had to go to the bathroom. Met him in the hall. We did go back to bed....but Oh, the frustration! We just laid there at first, then cuddled, then CJ rubbed my back...more laying there...then I joked (half seriously) about "playing" the sleeping housewife, taken unawares by the sexy intruder....we had some laughs, some tickling and such...but that was IT! ...He did sense my disappointment and again said...what about tomorrow?
I said sure, but why is it always "tomorrow"?, what's wrong with RIGHT NOW???
Oh well. We have a wedding for one of Cj's cousins tonight, so I'm hoping to squeeze in a workout so I FEEL better while trying to find a dress in my closet that still fits me!
Hi all, playing with fire here....Huge thunderclouds rolling in...hopefully no computer-frying power surges!
I found a cool outfit to wear last night. Vibrant red, gold and white, flames and dragon patterns (kind of east indian looking)...strappy short dress with one piece sort of palazo (sp?) pants, same material, underneath. Those lasted until the dancing!
Had a blast, CJ's aunts are a lot of fun...they partied more than his sisters (both of whom left shortly after the meal to "take care of their dogs" ).
We danced our buns off...CJ looked great in his suit and blue shirt. I rather miss seeing him dressed up (and told him so). The last dance was a waltz, that song by Uncle Kracker and Cheryl Crow...we did spins and turns and ended with a big sweaty kiss.
Today CJ is buying.....a new laptop!!! Best solution all around. It has a wireless connection that will enable him to be anywhere in the house, accessing the internet, even if I'm online too!
And of course....there's the MUSIC!!! We can once again brighten up parties, our own and others.
We also discussed my helping him with his thesis project for his MA program.
Sounds like a cool time at the wedding! I kow I love seeing David dressed up in a suit or tux! SEXY!!! And I do tell him so now! Not sure I did before.
Your outfit sounds neat. Probably not me, but I bet you looked good! Thinking though if I get some more weight off may experiment with some colors and clothes I would have never worn in the past! Of course that probably wouldn't appeal to my stick in the mud, (his name, not mine!) H!
I think the new laptop with wireless connection sounds like THE way to go! Then you don't have to share the phone line!!
Things look good, keep inspiring me we will be there someday if I can quit being the emotional, controlling, b*tch! Gonna work on it!!!
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
Feeling a tad tired today, but have a nice sea-food dinner to look forward to in about an hour. That's very early for us, but neither of us had time for lunch today.
Cj's new laptop seems to be working just fine. He's working on an assignment in the living room right now!
Now I check on as many as I can...Greg, you're first...and just where have you been???? 'Guess I'll find out!
), his was 55. Go figure!
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I think you and CJ have great communication now it seems. I am looking forward to the day David and I are there!! 
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