LOL! I,m just hoping it's like riding a bike-my memory isn't what it was. BTW No_hill, I really don't like labels cos I've been proved wrong too many times. I like your atitude to the sexes. I would have said I prefer male company to woman's but even that has altered-guess I just met up with diferent woman these past years. I am also making huge efforts to not be judgemental. A failing of mine at one time and one I wasn't totally aware of at the time. Misery aquainted me with strange bed fellows in my black hole days and I learnt so much. What I wouldn,t give for some sun, it's like winter here tonite. I think my book and I will have an early nite and snuggle down now if I can disuade the cat from joining me that would be good.
Well naej The second I list criteria of what I consider attractive I find something I need to add and/or someone who changes my mind.
Thus I post in general tones though I am only enlisted. I see you are from the mother country. Among the colonies who speaks the most proper English.
AG Loopy is more fun that serious. I honestly do not know what to tell you on how you react to said subject. When you date hopefully you will find one who can deal with competition when you are out gracefully but firmly.
"All I want is a weeks pay for a day's work" Steve Martin
I decided to elaborate on the reason for my no-list approach.
Let's take cologne as an example. There is a scent when the cologne is sprayed on a piece of paper. And then there is the unique scent that is generated by the combination of the body chemistry of the cologne user and the cologne. Cologne that smells great on that piece of paper may smell awful on the user - or the other way around.
Men are like cologne. What I find attractive in a man is not determined by a man in isolation. What I find attractive is based on the combination - or chemistry that is generated via interactions with me. It is based on the R synergy. That is really the only common factor I can find in the 5 men I have been attracted to since my D.
The mistake I have made in the past is there sometimes comes a point where my subconscious is unhappy b/c the R synergy diminishes along as time progresses and I am trying to figure out why a person that is everything I "should be" attracted to - I no longer find attractive. Or sometimes I meet someone and wonder why I am not attracted to them b/c they fit "the list" and then switch to there must be something wrong with me. And then there is "why on earth am I attracted to him - he doesn't fit anything on my list." I faced that one with Young Trader Joe Man.
So that is why I no longer have lists. That is why my focus has shifted to (i) being relaxed and balanced myself so that I am in a better position to trust my gut; and (ii) to move slowly b/c it takes time for the R chemistry to settle into an equlibrium state. b/c it is at that point that you can see whether an LTR is feasible.
Tells a good story. A great laugh. Likes closeness, physically and emotionally. Open hearted. Attentive. Independent. Respectful. Loves their family. Loves who they are. Thoughtful.
I think there has to be a mix of similar and contrast - enough to have common ground with a bit of contrast so learning is possible.
I love days off or somewhat. * Stopped and filled a couple of O2 bottles we are expecting a big weekend and two calls sucked them dry. Probably will fill a third for backup. * Did some short trading made around $300 on bottom feeding. Another investor accused me of helping cause the credit crisis since I was shorting financials. The list grows of my evil doings * lack of world peace * Global warming * SubPrime woes * Oil Crisis * Barber and hair club financial worries
Good guys lifeguards have white rope holding the straps on their rescue cans. Does that make me a bad guy?
I saw the short item on CSNBC this AM and the commentators espicially the women were making puns.
My question is can the female robot get me free drinks even diet coke? That makes a big difference in the attraction phase!
"All I want is a weeks pay for a day's work" Steve Martin
I know you have posted about enjoying interacting with women but have no interest in "closing the deal." I can relate to that - it is a "safe" way to interact w/o taking emotional risks.
Do you think that perhaps you romanticize the concept/definition of a women into an intangible abstraction to distance yourself from the "reality" of a woman?
I am asking b/c I tend to "objectify" men when I am trying to distance myself from the reality of getting involved with one in the "real world."
I know that since I made a decision to re-enter the dating world, I am trying to see each individual man (that involves an emotional risk) as a real individual and person - much like what I do at work.
Interestingly, my tastes change. My XW had certain characteristics that I feel I became addicted to. Build, posture, skin tone, hair colour, sens of humour, personality traits.
After I got dumpped, all that caught my interest was her type. I looked for her eveywhere in other women. You could only catch my attention with someone like her.
Now, after having been with my new wife for about 3 years, my tastes have completely drifted over to her characteristics. One that drives me wild is her height. She is fairly tall and man is that hot. I am still taller than her which she loves. But let me tell you... well actually I wont.... but in certain aspects of our R, tall is hot. Tres hot!
So I like tall, slender, great posture, proportionate um... "you knows"... pretty, sparkling personality, humour, hard working, loving. Glad to say I found this whole package.
