yes Lissie, check your local rec center, the studio I go to is a no-membership deal, you go when you want, 5$ per visit, the girl is a japanese american who can dance like no one's business!
I hate to get caught in the drama of it all. Ick. WE have taken ownership for what we have done. It does not happen over night. It is a learning process. One that I never want to take for granted. It will help us in all of our future R's. Be it with a BF or just our friends.
If the X is looking for someone, that can not be away from him, if he is looking for someone that can not give him his space, and let him grow on his own. Then he has found his "soulmate".
She goes into a bad place in her head, when the X is not around. She has told me herself. He can't even have time with his kids on his own. It is sad really.
I rather have my mind work for me than against me. If I am coming to negative thoughts in my head when my partner is not around. It will just cause me not to be strong emotionally, and maybe that is a red flag.
I want a balance. I will need you sometimes, I also just want to have faith, that we can be ourselves seperately and know that does not mean that our R is being negative. Honesty, and give and take. My goals.
You are strong Suzy. He may not know how to handle that.
Keep your face towards the sun lovey. As I know you do.
Sex in the City Girls. Ofcourse you have to take a great bag. And FAB heels, and as Mrs H will do.. Go and have a Cosmo afterwards. Priceless.
OMG Cat, that class is EXACTLY what I love. Thanks I am going to look it up in my area.
Live Simply Love Generously Care Deeply Speak Kindly Leave the rest to God
OMG! How did you know I was going to see Sex in 4" heels with a fab bag I just bought????
Love ya babes!
Okay, you are on point with the being separate thing. I mean, we are NOT in Jr. High, right?
Javi sounds sound so Jr. High-ish...and acts it too! He cannot be away from his OW for 3 minutes...ICK.
Quote:
I want a balance. I will need you sometimes, I also just want to have faith, that we can be ourselves seperately and know that does not mean that our R is being negative. Honesty, and give and take. My goals.
BRAVO!
I am so impressed with you mamí...you are growing into a woman of strength!
Love you! Vali
Aug '06: H moved out July '08: H had a kid with the OW May 12 '09: emancipation day
"Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." -Ferris Bueller
Liss, I love posting on your thread, because I feel like we share similair circumstances and similar emotions....except that your X was at least apologetic and admitted his affair, mine continues to deny any involvement, even though I have proof.
Mine has never had time on his own with the kids either, all their time was spent with her. Everything he did from the moment he decided to leave was to win her over and he did it.....he put his needs above all else and did what he needed to do to marry her ASAP.
Ironically Liss, I was not strong when we were married. In reflection I realized that the first time he used the word "divorce" D18 was about 2. I spent 16 years of my life afraid he would leave me. I became someone I don't even recognize anymore because I lived in fear of him leaving. All I wanted was for him to love me enough....and I never felt like I was good enough for him to love me unconditionally. I suffered from anxiety and had emotional meltdowns when he "attacked" me for something I did that he didn't approve of. I lied and hid things from him (like overdue bills) so that he wouldn't leave me. I was accused of having affairs if I spoke to another man, or if I went anywhere alone. I realize now that the life I was living was not really a life....
I am stronger now, and the interactions between the X and I are not good. I speak my mind and I won't listen to the garbage he spews at me. I hope that someday we can progress to an amicable relationship, but I can't do it until he can respect me.....not sure if that will ever happen.
I will definitely have my face to the sun this weekend....I am taking D18 and 2 friends, as well as D20, to the beach for D18s b-day. A friend is coming with me as well, and we are going to have fun!!!!!!!!!!
"You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf." Jon Kabat-Zinn
Mine has never had time on his own with the kids either, all their time was spent with her. Everything he did from the moment he decided to leave was to win her over and he did it.....he put his needs above all else and did what he needed to do to marry her ASAP.
BND,
Is this just me being male and missing something? What woman wants a guy who blazes out of his M to be with you? Is that NOT a red flag the size of the Republic of Texas?
NMD
"Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years. That is what makes a marriage last --more than passion or even sex!" - Simone Signoret
"What woman wants a guy who blazes out of his M to be with you?"
Some one with low-self esteem in my book they are so busy yahoooing that they got the MM to leave that they don't realize that the MM is acutally in a "running" man mode.
Running away but dragging with them all their baggage that they think they are leaving with the ex-spouse.
I guess that saying isn't true that you can't take it with you.
I want a balance. I will need you sometimes, I also just want to have faith, that we can be ourselves seperately and know that does not mean that our R is being negative. Honesty, and give and take. My goals
PERFECT Lissie! Spot on! as my grandma would say!!
Have a terrific weekend girly!
Be Happy for this Moment, This Moment is your Life
"What woman wants a guy who blazes out of his M to be with you?"
Some one with low-self esteem in my book they are so busy yahoooing that they got the MM to leave that they don't realize that the MM is acutally in a "running" man mode.
Running away but dragging with them all their baggage that they think they are leaving with the ex-spouse.
I guess that saying isn't true that you can't take it with you.
MaMaMo,
I know I am the master of the obvious..... But, what really makes OW think MM will not blaze off on her?
NMD
"Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years. That is what makes a marriage last --more than passion or even sex!" - Simone Signoret
For some people it could be that it makes them feel special.If he leaves his family for me then I must be worth something.Not realising that what is really happening is that they are a bridge out of a relationship that the man no longer wants to work on.
Some are not strong enough to do the work or leave without someone to go with.It's a weakness in them.
Later Friends Briget
The grass is always greener over the septic tank... Erma Bombeck
Treat hate with Love... DR. Martin Luther King
