W sent a text to me today about D's rash on her rear and that she'd called the doctor about it. She also said she'd found a few more eggs on D's head and was combing them out.
W took D to the zoo and I shot an industrial video for Honeywell today. D called me to talk around lunch and that was very cute. When my shoot was over, I contacted the realtor who said the market has shifted down again and we'll now need to list our place for $30K less than before if we want it to move.
I reported this to W who sent me a text back saying:
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I am cutting the eggs out of her hair. I have removed 30 or more. did you treat her in Tahoe or not?
Well, I'll admit here that I back-slid a bit as I fired back w/ a bit of anger w/ my reply:
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Yes I treated her in Tahoe. Do you want sworn statements from my family?? (My neice) also used my Lice MD b/c she was freaked out. She will tell you the bottle was 1/2 full when she got it b/c I did D's hair 1st. Maybe she got them again from your apartment. Did you consider that or does everything have to be blamed on me?
Ok. That was wrong for me to do, but I guess I'm still bitter about yesterday and I'm really tired of being blamed for everything while she takes responsibility for nothing. I know I am better than that, but I was a bit weak and cracked.
W's repsonse was text book for her: "F@ck U"
I calmed down and rationally replied that I had done the treatment in Tahoe, asked if she could have pick it up at her apartment, and if she had bombed the aparment. She replied w/ "yep" and I told her that there was nothing I could do then b/c I did my part in Tahoe and checked for nits on Sunday, Monday and Tuesday but didn't find anything.
I then went into the gym and worked out hard and sent the following reply to W when I was done:
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I apologize if I was antigonistic earlier w/ my tone. I was just frustrated at a bunch of things. I did her hair in Tahoe and didn't see any lice. How is she?
D called me right away and then W took the phone. She apologized w/out officially apologizing as she said more than once "I know you did the treatment in Tahoe." She was freaked out again and started to cry. I just listened and let her talk and cry.
She then had me talk to D again who said she'd call back later, so I let her go.
I have to say I am disappointed in myself for taking her bait b/c I could have been the bigger person. I slipped and fought, and I can only hope I don't fight too much more in the future.
Now we'll see where it goes from here and of course I'll keep you all in the loop.
W called right before 7 and asked me about the Veggie Tales movie b/c she was going to take D to it so she could re-bomb her apartment.
W then sent this text a little bit later: You have NO idea how much I hate to ask you this...what are you doing tomorrow?
I replied w/ "nothing. Why do you hate to ask?" and W's reply was: because I don't like you or trust you any more -- yesterday didn't help.
I responded w/ "fair enough. How can I help?" She told me she wanted me to watch D tomorrow so she could get everything done she needed to about cleaning her apartment. She also said "the (parenting) class said to choose the other parent as babysitter first."
Of course I agreed to help her out tomorrow b/c it will allow me to spend the day w/ D. However, it is funny in a way that she is now angry w/ me b/c I had her do a deposition. She said she "no longer likes me" but I didn't think she liked me anyway. Remember, I've drugged and raped her once and sexually assaulted her another time, so I just assumed I wasn't on her favorites list.
She is weird and her actions are very bizarre. I'll see how it goes tomorrow, but I just don't know what I'm going to get from W.
I replied w/ "nothing. Why do you hate to ask?" and W's reply was: because I don't like you or trust you any more -- yesterday didn't help.
Answer; " I don't trust you either after all the lies you told about me yesterday."
You're a saint, really - but be careful here, I know she's whacked but she could also screw you over big time if you're not careful.
As for the head lice - she's probably not getting re-infected, it's just hard to clear all the lice from her head. It's much more likely that one louse survived the treatment and laid more eggs, than that she picked up another louse from the apartment.
It just takes persistence. Fumigating the apartment was probably unnecessary in the first place, repeating it is probably worthless.
Believe me, I thought of many, many things to say in response to that text. Oh, how I wanted to retaliate, but realized it my end up doing me more harm than good in the long run.
You wrote: be careful here, I know she's whacked but she could also screw you over big time if you're not careful.
What do you think she would do to screw me over? I know there are many ways, but I'd like to see what you were thinking here as it may have been something I didn't think of before.
As for the lice issue, I too think she's over-reacting. I told her to wash D's hair again and comb it, but she chose to do it her own way and thus be completely overwhelmed by the whole thing.
I agree that she claims to "not like or trust me" any more b/c I called her on the carpet on the legal record yesterday. I know she hated it and if we go to trail, she'll end up being exposed as a liar. I'm not sure we'll get there, but I now have complete ammo to use against her shoddy claims if we ever do.
I did order up a copy of the deposition for my records and to be sent to the parenting evaluator, so he'll get to look at her inconsistencies as well as her selfish answers before he makes his final custody ruling.
It really is a bunch of "boo-hoos" and "too bads" for my W at this point and I do wish I could have been able to answer her "I don't trust you" w/ an answer where I told her I didn't trust her either and her performance "yesterday, didn't help."
W's reply was: because I don't like you or trust you any more -- yesterday didn't help.
Good job RTL! She was trying to draw you into an exchange that would have produced nothing of any value...and you didn't bite.
I understand that it is usually preferable to settle a divorce w/o the cost of a trial. Be that as it may, it sure would be satisfying to see her lies and distortions rebutted with her own emails and texts. Then again, I don't have to pay the legal bills
I'm glad that you didn't fall into the "he can take what's his and I'll take what's mine" trap. That would give her room to argue about what's "his" and what's "mine." As it stands, everything is "ours," including the debts--and she'll have to deal with her share.
I haven't read much of your stuff before, but I read this thread. Why are you worried about your anger? I know it's not great to stay angry, but if it helps you keep your focus on the business (and it is business now) at hand, use it. Do you honestly want more than a coparenting relationship with her? Would you take her back? As I read about the deposition and the subsequent exchanges, I think you are seeing the woman that she is. It's funny how they want you to forget the crap they pulled and throw little things back at you. My 1st wife was like that and even if I was single I'd never consider a relationship with her. So, do you still want her? If the answer is no, then do the bare minimum in terms of responding to her. I'd personally ignore any text that doesn't directly relate to your child and reply as little as possible. Like texting, "Yes", when she asked if you used it in Tahoe. Replying back after any further texts isn't necessary. What will she do if you go mostly dark (except for kid issues)? Divorce you again? Make up more stuff about you? You have nothing to lose by ignoring her.
You cannot be lonely if you like the person you're alone with. Dr. Wayne Dyer
What will she do if you go mostly dark (except for kid issues)? Divorce you again? Make up more stuff about you? You have nothing to lose by ignoring her.
However, she has everything to lose by being ignored by you. She loses YOU. She hasn't had to face that yet. You are not allowing her to. Stop protecting her from that lesson.
