We agreed in the divorce settlement that he could have liberal use of the house
why did you agree to such a thing?
Plainly, I was stupid and I didn't realize the impact that decision would have on my pysche post D!! I thought a liberal visit would mean more time he would spend with D17. Guess I also felt like I didn't have a choice because the house is in his name now and he already paid me half the equity. I am living here rent free.
If I had it to do over again I would handle a lot of things differently.
On the thoughtful side he has hired someone to do the yard work for me (although I never minded mowing the lawn. I would rather he hired a maid and I would do the yard work
Can you work a deal with the lawn guy? He can do the inside and you will do the outside?
I know you thought you were doing the right thing Mat. As with most of us our concern is getiing our marriage back in tact, not getting the best deal for ouselves. Your H took advantage of you plain and simple.
Even though he does have "liberal use of the house" he still needs to abide by the two hour notice rule.
Not sure how things work, but I suppose there is no changing this after the fat? WTH was your lawyer thinking? Did he not adives you this was a bad idea?
Hugs to you (((Mat))). You only did what you thought was right, hopefully one day you will be rewarded for doing so.
Me 54 DS19 and DS17 Married 06/1989 Divorced 01/2011
oic, guess the rent free offer looked good (just met someone who is paying 3k in house payments, ouch!). Well, the ink is sort of still fresh, do tell him that even if he doesnt think you'll be home that he needs to call you. Glad to hear you are having mostly good days)))))
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
Sounds like a lot has happen since I last posted with you. He sounds like he is more of a pain now. IS your daughter living with him full time?
I bought a place and its real homey. My H has come up and helped me a few times. He is real distant now. He lives with OW. His family isn't accepting her. We are to meet Thurs and go over the final agreement to make sure it is right and file for the divorce so it will be easier. Sure is better for him. But you know. It sure is a lot easier on me not walking on the edge all the time wondering if I am going to bum him out. We had an agrument a couple of days ago but it is easier to say hey this the way it is. You might have to change the locks and say hey I don't mind you coming over but it is supposed to arranged. You are your own person now.....Believe in your self...
Hope you are doing OK I will try and stay in touch better. The new spam control at work won't let me check on you guys.
Penny, so happy to hear from you!!! Did you start a new thread? My daughter is not living with him. She has spent exactly five nights with him in the past year. Hope to get more of a break this summer.
Your new place sounds terrific. You sound ok....are you???
Shock of all shocks!!!! D17 returned from a birthday dinner (for her dad's GF ) and she said "it might have been a fancy restaurant, but I would rather have been with you at ______(naming our favorite Chinese restaurant)" . I was proud of myself....I even encouraged her to buy a gift....had to loan her money since she is always broke (she only found out about the dinner last night)
I have been really angry with her dad after he called me to see if it was ok to take her out of school for SPRING BREAK 2009 It turns out he promised her he'd take her to Mexico, but his GF's spring break is different from D17's. Now this is the man who has been upset with me when I "let" her stay home from school even when she has a fever. I would think it would be easier for an adult who works at a school to take off at a different time instead of taking D17 out of school. CRAZY! The other crazy part is that he doesn't even know his schedule next month, but he's willing to put down money for a condo and the airplane tickets for D17, GF and GF's kids.
So, I am angry at him, but have to figure out a way to channel this anger!!!!!
) and she said "it might have been a fancy restaurant, but I would rather have been with you at ______(naming our favorite Chinese restaurant)"