The W called yesterday and very calmly told me that she wanted to be free and to please let her go. She said she wants to SPEED up the property settlement. I just took off my ring and I am devastated. She said that, because I had hope, I wasn't taking her seriously. Now it looks as if it is over for us. The thing is how calm and peaceful she is when she tells me. It REALLY makes me lose hope. She has always been like no other woman I have known. Plus, she can turn off to so many people because she has bonding issues from her childhood. That's why it's so scary when she says these things. She said that this thing has been "dragging on and on." She only told me about the problem in December!
It seems that any cheerfulness she sees in me, she mistakes it for not taking her serious. For God sake, I lost 45 pound just from stress. I can't win. I have to let her go. She's been begging me. I can't even SHOW any hope.
Today I spoke to her. She seems VERY resolved. But she keeps saying "I don't know what the future holds." I asked where her ring is kept. Surprisingly, she said, "I keep it with me." In her purse. I then said, "Well then I'll keep mine with me, too." I then jokingly said, "I'll have to fish it out of the toilet tank first." We both chuckled (whew!).
But here is my dilemma; I am worried about holding hope because I don't want to fall on my face all the time. This thing looks pretty bad. I'm torn. Part of me wants to "lose hope" so I can release her and GAL...but still not date and keep the door cracked. Help! My feelings for her are so transparent.
You have to let her go. No choice. Giving her resistance is your way of trying to get what you want. You must mean it from your heart. This process is against our typical reactions. Like we have learned from DB....let her know you want to try to save the R but, you are prepared to let her go and respect her for her decision. Truly move on with your life. Meet with as many friends and OW, not serious though. It takes time but, if you follow DB you will see the light
M 55 WAW 53 S29 S27 S24 married 32 yrs bomb 5/07 ilybinilwy settling finances now. We date each other now. I gave her months of darkness, minor contact, NO STRESS, I asked for nothing. Now we are friends. Now we have a chance.
Me 54 W 54 S 29 S 27 S 24 M 32 bomb 5/07 MO: 8/07 D 7/09 dating W W wants back 4/10
