Oh I agree that the pregnancy was part of her plan. I predicted this a few years ago. It's the natural next step to assure herself a path to citizenship. "..not thrilled.." oh no the idiot is on cloud nine. Is walking around like the happiest man on earth. Wonder how he'll feel when she takes the baby, leaves and then demands support!
Gigi
"It's not what happens to you, it's what you make of it." Zig Ziglar
Yeap the D and SIL. The grandbaby is 9 months old now. A real joy. You should have seen her yesterday in the pool. She was in this float seat with her legs down in the pool. She started kicking her feet and realized she could make the float move. She looked just like a duck floating on the water with the legs underneath doing all the work! Very funny!
Yeah we should set a date and make sure we get together!
Gigi
"It's not what happens to you, it's what you make of it." Zig Ziglar
Thank you all for your posts. I don't really know what it was that made me post. I have to tell you it felt good to have people respond. I wasn't sure anyone would even remember us anymore. Good to know we still have friends!
Funny my quote with my signature. I had forgotten that. Good old Zig. So I guess I should ask myself what I've "..make of it". Well, he's sitting right here on the couch, I think I'll go give him a big hug and tell him how much I love him!!
Gigi
"It's not what happens to you, it's what you make of it." Zig Ziglar
Gig: Wow - does sound like you bought that same covertible in powder blue - LOL! Did you buy several?
Seriously, Ex still has our convertible. It is now 12 years old and sounds like a tank. Has a rip in the leather seat and I'll bet it still smells like rotten shrimp (can't imagine how it got that smell).
But funny you write that as I'm planning to buy a new one - most likely the same one but of course - brand new and in blue! Yep - let his jaw drop.
My ex knows I have a really nice car and actually commented on it to Ashley recently. They were at a display of similar cars at the mall and he saw the sticker price. Said "Your mother couldn't have spent THAT much on a car!". Like it's his business. Made Ash feel uncomfortable.
Anyway, Gigi - you are in sunny Cali and you should be driving a covertible. I rent one whenever I come to visit. ENJOY!
Barb (who thinks the joke is on your ex and his impending "Daddyhood" - yes, that would freak me out too)
Thanks for the update....I sure am glad I don't have to deal w/ babies at this stage of life! Grandparenting is a whole 'nother story...but I can wait until the kids are done w/college! LOL!
Glad things are going mostly well, SG
Survival Goddess "The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don't have any." -Alice Walker
Having a Grandbaby is Great...............big difference in becoming a parent again....he's thrilled, what else is he going to say. What a fool.
As far as getting over what they did to us, especially long term marriage US, I never will. He's tuned out to be to big of a dissappointment to me and you just can't get over something like that. Sure, you heal, sure you move on, but as far as forgetting it happened, as far as not still feeling anger........never.
Gigi, it's great you have moved on to a new relationship, I wish you all the best. It's also really wise and smart of you to realize you have healed, but you will also always have some issue's of what happened.
Hey there Gigi, remember me? I have been wanting to post since I saw your message early the other day. Thanks for the update. Lots of good replies too -- seems like many of us still have these ghosts hanging around and kind of haunting us. Maybe we ought to say BOO back and scare them away:) I don't think it works exactly that way but might be worth a try.
You may remember that we were in similar situations with our husbands at the time caught hook, line and sinker by shady ows from foreign lands with all the associated VISA issues. Mine had a baby with the ow overseas before we were even divorced. It was all predictable and obviously the plan. At that time she couldn't even get into the country where he was living. So she and the baby lived in one country (not hers, no one on the planet wants to live there) and he was in another nearby. Darn those silly immigration requirements that wonder about shady people from remote countries. I often think he dragged out the divorce proceedings for some reason related to that.
Anyway, eventually he moved back to the US and they married. He now has two children. One just turned 3, the other is maybe 12 months old.
I have one thought to share about all this. It's possible that your children will realize they have a sibling and want contact. In my case there weren't kids. But I was close with my inlaws and I had to tell them this is not the baby's fault. In fact when it all started I told my MIL you know, there might be grandchildren involved in this one day, you have to keep that in mind. And so they embrace the new family and I have slowly stepped out although I care for them very much. The end point with all that for me was a wedding where I saw the ex and his new family.
My friends say just wait for what will happen eventually. She'll leave him etc... We will see. I truly hope that's not the case and I have more or less accepted that it's not my concern any longer. She has to deal with him now and as much as I loved him it's not easy so good luck to her. Cheers, Wonder
My children do want to have contact with their pending baby brother. They have decided that this kid has too many stricks against him and may someday need their support. The plan is to send baby gifts, Xmas gifts, birthday gift and such directly addressed to him. Maybe someday when he's old enough to make decisions he'll want to get to know them better.
Before a big fall out with my X, my daughter and SIL spent a day with X and new wife (they were on vacation). New wife was already pregnant and had absolutely no interest in getting to know daughter's baby. Didn't want to hold her, didn't want to feed her, had no interest in seeing her room. My daughter commented that new wife was the most nonmaternal pregnant women in history.
Poor kid, his mother doesn't want him, she needs him as a pawn in her chess game!
Anyway, things are good here in sunny California. Rob is a sweetheart, family is well and career is going great. I got my kids, my grandbaby and my three cats who I love. Just wish my heart didn't still feel like swiss cheese!
And yes I love my convertable!! Almost had a heart attack tonight, a piece of wood flew up from the truck in front of me and hit my baby! Luckily only small marks in the paint that Rob can buff out! That was close!
G
"It's not what happens to you, it's what you make of it." Zig Ziglar
Almost had a heart attack tonight, a piece of wood flew up from the truck in front of me and hit my baby! Luckily only small marks in the paint that Rob can buff out!
Why can't you do buff it out?
By the way, nice to see you again.
Suit
"It's better to have no spouse than have a bad spouse"
