well it's been 367 days for me now... How much longer do you think I should hold out?? You have been at this for a while..
H
Husband, So you passed the one year 'anniversary' since you found the pics, but the A has been over for quite a while. Put that date in the past and forget about it. I think you need to get to the next stage before you think about throwing in the towel on this one. You W seems to be content with the way things are. Does she want to take things to the next level? Does she want to get back to being a married couple? I really think you need to figure out if you both want the same outcome and start working towards whatever that is. You've been sort of drifting along for a while now, not wanting to rock the boat, but I can see that you are not happy with the way things are now. I can't imagine that she is content with the situation either.
I TOOK THE DAY BACK....Yes I went out to the coast with my son and spent the day there.. It was great... Next weekend we (son and I) are going camping there... W said she may come out Saturday and bring us Lunch with MIL... No next year if we are still togeather Son and I are going camping out at the coast in this date...... Sooo I took the "DATE" back and made it MINE.... Soon bud soon... W needs to get a job soon or I will have a talk anyway...
H
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
I TOOK THE DAY BACK....Yes I went out to the coast with my son and spent the day there.. It was great... Next weekend we (son and I) are going camping there... W said she may come out Saturday and bring us Lunch with MIL... No next year if we are still togeather Son and I are going camping out at the coast in this date...... Sooo I took the "DATE" back and made it MINE.... Soon bud soon... W needs to get a job soon or I will have a talk anyway...
H
H, The time with you son sounds great. 'New' memories and traditions are just what you need. I'll keep my fingers crossed on your W getting a job.
Only you can answer how long you are willing to wait. I do see baby step from your W in your posts . Look at all the really small positives. They are there.
I have been going thru this for a long time. I first noticed that something was wrong with H in fall of 05. Even told my daughter that something was wrong. I gave H space didn't say anything till Oct 06. I was kind of DBing with out even knowing about it. My troble now is that after all of this time H still doesn't feel that emotional connection. I also think though that he might be looking for those in love feelings that he felt for EA/OW. That may take a long time as we have been married for 31 years. I do know that he doesn't want the M to end because he just keeps reeling me in when I pull back from the M. I still think he's cak-eeating to a point.
JAK
You don't get to choose how you're going to die. Or when, you can only decide how you're going to live now. ~Joan Baez
