Absolutely amazing day here that I'm going to do my best to keep that way when my H shows up to spend the day with S4.
So much for my dating attempt, I just can't seem to be able to do it, even with his having a GF for the past year. Although I'm not acting as if I am, or I'm not dating, just keeping myself busy & happy.
It seems that there are changes in our R recently with H spending more time here on the weekends, instead of running out the door @1pm Saturday, not to be seen until Monday night to take S's to dinner. He stayed yesterday until 6pm, hinted that he could stay around if we're not busy & said he'd be back this morning to spend the day with S. This is really the 1st time he's not had obvious plans w/ OW in the past year.
I did become aware that OW is unable to pay her mortgage & has a red flag posted (3 months overdue). Apparently she'd unable to keep up with her lifestyle, even with H paying for much of it I'm sure.
It looks like we must be opposites in every way, prolly the reason he was attracted to her initially, & maybe the reason he's not in the end?
Well, this marked the 1st wkend that my H spent almost the entire time with us, even offering to stay over on Saturday night if I had plans to go out.
It was full of "we's" & behavior that I haven't seen a hint of for a year. Looking back, it's come a long way from "ILYBNILWY, I'm leaving & it's permanent, I have an offer for you," to telling people @ the neighbors party, "We need to fill up our jacuzzi & use it, we've been living there 3 years now, afterall." "This is my wife J." "What do you think of this idea for next year."
He's coming over tonight to take S's to dinner, I've already informed him I have other plans already. This change started when he said something about my boyfriend not liking something, & I replied that he's pretty easy going. I think he was in total shock that I didn't say "I don't have a BF." Since this seems to be working on waking him up, I'm going to continue on w/seeing my too good to be true BF until he really experiences what life w/out me is like.
They say, if you do something that works, keep doing it.
As CVA said, "I guess you went the Homer route, & it seems to be having an effect."
They also say, most of what they threaten to do in the beginning never comes to pass, so don't panic too much ahead of time.
So, my goal is to just keep steady & let events flow naturally.
We'll see where they go from here.
Keeping my expectations in check, treating him like a nice neighbor.
Sunny
Hey Puddle, Nice hearing from you! Yes, it does help with the PMA, definitely, although I have moved away from having it depend on him. The last I heard, everything was pretty calm in your world. Still the case?
Hey there, my Sweet Sunny D! Just wanted to quickly say that I've been keeping up to speed with your last few posts and will try to respond to them directly later tonight or so. Just so busy nowadays, I tell ya! This GAL stuff is just outta control!!!
Hi Sunny! Condolances on the passing of your father.
Concerning the dating thing, I know how you feel. I just can't see myself really dating until the M is really over. I get out, meet people, flirt, talk, whatever, but serious dating?? Just seems wrong.
Anyway, it seems your H is going through the typical MLC phases. There is a great article that talks about this, but I'll be darned if I can find it right now. I'll post a link when I do.
SD
Me 41 W 41 Kids: S9 S7 Married 16 years Bomb dropped 2/2/07 Still living together! current thread
Great to hear from you , Some good stuff going on in your sitch and you are right In your approach. Let him do some work And when the expectations circus rolls in to town , just stay off the merry go round .
I realy do believe that if they think the LBS is waiting for them no matter what then they are free to carry on regardless with the illusion they can always go back if it all goes wrong.
Take away the lifeline for real and its time to face the concequences of decisions made.
First of all, I'm sorry for your loss regarding your dad. I know how devastating and painful it is, and want you to know that I hurt for you, esp with everything else you've had to deal with over this past year. Thanks for being such a great caring and thoughtful woman.
As for your sitch, things sound pretty interesting of late, eh? Your H's yo-yoing has always bugged me, and my advice at this stage in the game is to stick with your plan and continue doing exactly what you've been doing that has gotten him to come back this much. It sounds like he's still a bit confused, so keep him on his toes and thinking about what his choices are going to give him in the not-too-distant future.
Great to hear an update from you, and great to see all of us "oldies" touching base!
Remember, no snyde comments! I cant believe I know how to spell snyde!
Me: 46 Wife: 39 D: 13 S: 11, 9, 7 Bomb 3.2.07, Sep Same Day, D papers 11.1.07 Current Status - Wants to take me through Discovery, I will go to prison first.
Good for you for recognizing that, accepting it, and keeping the focus on you.